Oh my freakin god!!! How stupid have i been these past couple of weeks! I've just found out what a fuckin self absorbed son of a bitch somebody is! The bastard thinks he's the shit. You know, its so disapointing that sometimes you think you know someone, and they are complety the opposite. I stopped talking to this person a few months ago because i saw how he acted like a totaly different person around certain people, and i knew that he is not the geniune guy that people think he is. And it shoud've stayed that way, why did i talk to him agian when i knew he was like that. What a fuckin asshole, two faced bitch, i can see right thru him now and soon, so will everybodu else. I've never ever in my life had so much animosity towards somebody before. A person having no regards or respect for his "friends". I'm so not talking to this person anymore, i hope i can control my anger seeing him at school.

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I've decided to forget all the weird things that have happened...

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After living in complete obscurity for a couple of days, i was shocked to realize the extent in which i hate wilmington. I went to Barnes and Nobles, and they're freakin relocated to the most shitty shopping center ever, Mayfair, or whatever the heck its called. I hate mayfair and i really miss Barnes and Nobles. Boohoo. So i went to Books-a-million. I thought i saw eric lawrance there, and i was about to go over to say hi, but when he look over, i found out he was just his long lost twin, it was really awkward, i was like ugh...hi! and walked away, he must have thought, "damn, what an idiot"

The doctors who invented the atkins and south beach diet are freakin geniuses, i say that after seeing 10 pounds completly dissapear in just....2 weeks. yep. I really want to go to myrtle beach factory store to get some new clothes, i havn't gone clothing shoping in forever. Emily called me the other day to go shoe shopping with her, but i was still sick. Maybe we can go to Myrtle Beach together sometime.

Well, its a little over 2 more weeks untill i leave...i went to Bed Bath and B to get some dorm stuff and comviently, they had little college shopping lists there. Those popup hamper things are awwesome. Haha, i think i shocked my piano teacher into tears today, i have to admit, i played exceptionally well, i have true talent, hope i can take it somewhere further. Well, i don't think theres anything that new or of great excitment in my life as of now, so i'm out...

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I started reading Wuthering Heights today, and i really enjoyed it since the name Wuthering Heights describes the "atmospheric tumult to which its station is exposed in stormy weather", which reflects the mood and atmosphere of the weather today.

I can just imagine the senses evoke right before a storm, you can smell and taste the air rapidly changing, as dropplets of water fall darkening and creating little indentions in the sand. Like the aroma of of rain and dirt arising, so too do my childhood memories of being in vietnam, playing in the rain while sipping orange juice from a straw inserted in our native bright green oranges. After we had tired of playing in the rain, we would sit outside in our hand made wooden benches, leaning agianst the clay house wall, and sheltered from the rain by the little awning created by our straw roof. With each rainstorm, thunder and lightning, echoing and releasing the ever lingering spirit of war's past. So unfair what war has done! Aunts and cousins losts, starved, sick, death, no burial, left to decay, thier spirits still ever lingering, ever suffering.

Ah, the feeling of rain at that time can never be recreated nor experienced physically, but i still remember ever detail, every emotion. That has always, and will always be my memory that is evoked on rainy, tumultious days.

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In Jess's journal, she's mention twice that there are a couple of people that talk shit about me, and i really can't imagine who those people could be. Besides Jess, i have no clue who could have a gudge agianst me. So that means that there are some people probably not being what they appear. Oh well, i'm not going to ponder more about something frivolous like this. I'm the only person that knows myself the best.

You know, sometimes i wonder what people do while they're signed onto aim, esp the people who are always on. Well, for me, i'm online not only to talk to firends, it also gives me a sense that i am somehow connected to other people who are also signed on in my list. There doesn't nessasarily need to be any conversation going on, almost like a long distance relation that is however nonexistant. Its kinda hard to explain.

I just read edie's journal about the Da Vinci passage she read in SAT. And i have to agree, the SAT people choose really awesome reading passages for thier test. Overall, taking the SAT is not bad, not bad at all. It always leaves me feeling enlightened, accomplished, and refreshed.

Ahhhhh...i am slowly being driven crazy...i wish i could read people better.

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"I was on an airplane last year when a talk show began playing on the TVs. I decided to start narrating for the people, which is a really great game if you're ever bored enough. I realized a time will probably come when television will watch us if we're watching it, if that hasn't already happened, figuratively or literally. It sounded like some sort of pseudo-Big Brother nightmare, so I wrote it down. " ~Brandon Boyd

Incubus: Talk shows on mute lyrics
Take a bow
Pack on powder
Wash 'em out with buzzing lights
Pay an audience to care
Impress me personality

Still and transfixed
The electric sheep (=a reference to the sci-fi novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" it was about clones)
Are dreaming of your face
Enjoy you from the chemical (not sure what this means, "the chemical comfort of america? hmm)
Comfort of America

Come one
Come all
Into 1984 (from james orwell's novel named 1984 and sorta comparing bush to totalitarian regime described in the book)
Yeah, three, two, one
Lights, camera, transaction

Quick, your time is almost up
Make all forget that they're the moth
Edging in, towards the flame
Burn into obscurity

Still and transfixed
the electric sheep
are dreaming up your fate
We judge you from
the card castle (card casle= flimsy, so flimsy, false comfort of america)
comfort of America

Come one
Come all
Into 1984
Yeah, three, two, one
Lights, camera...

Come one
Come all
To 1984
Yeah, three, two, one
Lights, camera, transaction

The foundation is canyoning
Fault lines should be worn with pride
I hate to say it
You're so much more
You're so much more
Endearing with the sound turned off.

well, a lot of poeple say it has to do with bush and stuff, but i agree with the people who say that this is just about how tv brainwashes society and praise celebrities. The sheeps kinda refer to clones, and sheeps follow, so people are being followers. As far as the book 1984 goes, the song is trying to tell us not to be like sheep/followers/clones and think for ourselves, or we would end up being in a society like in the book 1984. And in brandon's quote, he says that maybe one day, the tv's will start watching us, like in the book where people are always silently watching you. So what do you think? Has n e one ever read the book 1984, i just got this info from other sources, thought it was interesting and i love love love the song.

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