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I am
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
The 21st
Saturday. 10.28.06 2:10 am
The 21st. comes so soon every month
An anniversary of not being strong enough
You're much too co-dependent
A shrink is recommended

Your father tells you to try to be responsable
Your mother loves you, but not the way she did before
Your brother's torn to pieces
But no one knows the reasons

He loves the winter, but it smells too much like memories
The ornament she gave him still hangs from his Christmas tree
A jingle bell will glisten
That's when she loved to kiss him

So say farewell to all the little things she would say and do
The morning, sleepy eyed girl waves goodbye to you
You're much to co-dependent
A shrink is recommended
Yeah...

But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?
But yeah, who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call?
When you feel like ending it all?

But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down

But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down
But I can't bring you down

by Blue October


I know how they all feel. How in the world did this happen? Well, I know how, but still.

So new situation: Elizabeth decided not to talk to him anymore. She doesn't want to be with him anymore. He's in love with her. Meanwhile here I've been caught in between all of this. Junior text messaged me today. The result of those texts was this: me and him are on better terms, but solely because he's so emotional about Elizabeth. After him showing up at my house randomly while talking to Elizabeth on the phone trying to give her strength not to talk to him, since she doesn't want to toy with his emotions, he convinced me to take a letter that he had been trying to give her all day to her. He told me to read it before I gave it to her. I knew I carried a jewel as I drove to the other side of Fort Worth with Junior in my backseat (much to my dissaproval) covered by a blanket to hand Elizabeth such a treasure. There was nothing but love strewn across that letter. I know he did wrong. I have known. Never will appreciate that. But I've never stopped caring for Junior. He's been like my brother and always will be. And here I was. And nothing could console him. I know how he feels. Exactly how he feels. I've been exactly where he's at. I'm worried for him. Elizabeth read the note. She's very confused on what to do. We prayed together for guidance.

I know just how they all feel. And there's nothing I can do about any of them.

I pray to God that all this goes as best as possible.

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I *knew* it!
Tuesday. 10.24.06 10:53 am
Sometimes I really hate being right.

Yesterday morning to assure myself that Robyn hadn't died or something, I called her. She was fine. I asked if I could come over. However retarded this may sound, I wanted to take her nyquil away. It's not like she could go buy more, but she still relatively broke. She said it was fine. I went over. Took her nyquil. And she told me why she was upset. Of course it was because of Junior. I've been quite uspet at him recently, as well. I tried to talk to him this last weekend. Patch things up, you know? I still care about the guy. But when we made plans to go hang out, he ditched last minute. When I called to tell him I was ready to go someplace, he didn't answer the phone. I left a voicemail. He never called back. He always calls back. So I knew what that meant and made no more efforts with him. Meanwhile I have been trying to get a hold of Elizabeth and her of me. We kept missing each other's calls or texts, until last night.
This is where things get messy...
Alot of people wouldn't agree with what I did. One of those people is my mom. She didn't approve at all of all of this. But I couldn't stay silent. Especially about this. I'm starting to be friends with Elizabeth, a good girl, a godly girl. Junior has been showing little concern for our friendship and any other relationship. Actually, he's always done that. And if there's any ONE thing that I do not tolerate, it's infidelity. If you can lie and cheat on your closest loved one for something as selfish and lustfull as that, then what wouldn't you do to me? I don't trust people who cheat. Bottom line. According to Robyn, Junior never told her that Elizabeth and him got back together. They slept in the same bed practically every night. One of those nights something did happen between them. And according to Elizabeth, Junior told her that she only spent the night once and that she slept on the couch. So, I exposed Elizabeth to the truth. All of it. She was a bit upset. I hated it. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I feel conflicted about it still. I feel as if I shouldn't have but as if I should have at the same time. I really can't stand people that do what Junior did. But he has been my friend through alot.
But what's done is done, now, I guess. I just wish all of this didn't have to happen. And if y'all want to tell me how stupid I am, by all means do. Some feedback would be loved much.

Thanks y'all.

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