Valentine's Day Cole died.

We buried him in my backyard, next to Percy and Domino.

I'm waiting to go meet with my brother. We're going to pick an urn together for my mom's ashes.

While all this is happening, everyone is preparing for weddings and quinces.

I drift between envious anger, sadness, and sullen apathy.


To top all of this off:

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Xanatos

"Crion, now a corrupt governor of Telos, regretted sending his son to the Jedi Temple. He encouraged his son to stay with him on Telos and enjoy wealth and power. Xanatos sided with his father in the civil war, thus failing his final test. He watched in terror as his former master was forced to kill Crion. Qui-Gon tried to apologize, but Xanatos' inextinguishable anger at his father's death caused him to turn to the dark side. He picked up his father's ring out of the nearby fireplace(which had been cut off by Qui Gon's lightsaber)and pressed it to his right cheek. The broken-circle scar later became his "trademark" and the symbol for the Offworld Corporation, a company he took control of through deceit and conspiracy. Qui-Gon told the Council that he had "died" in the fighting on Telos."

I want to read this book. Even more so now.

I never thought I'd be betrayed like that. Especially by someone I thought of as my own brother. Someone I looked after and cared for. Someone I sacrificed alot for.
I don't know whether anger or hurt will win out in the end.

But for now, I want forget it. Forget him. Forget all of it.

I don't want his memory to weigh me down for the rest of my life.






You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Matt. 13:10-15

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