Heard a purty poem today
Tuesday. 3.20.07 2:59 am
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
By Elizabeth Bishop
Thursday. 3.15.07 3:56 pm
Actually, it's Lake Whitney, but hey...
"I'm ON vacation!!!"
If you don't get that, well,... that sucks for you.
Everything went rough. It could have used quite a bit of KY.
It started with my mom getting sick. I know. I'm heartless. I'm an asshole. People tell me this all the time. But she got sick. She ate McDonalds and was throwing up the whole night before we left. This meant that I was going to have to leave her there alone. It was a nuisance that she got sick at this time. I didn't have time to be worrying about how she was doing.
The following morning after I got everything ready and started picking people up, I had a very small delay. We had a couple going. The couple got into a fight and the guy no longer wanted to go. I had to wait for Ana (one of the youth) to talk him into going. (Whether that was a good thing or not, I don't know)
When I got to the church a few minutes late, where we were all meeting, I realized something. There was far more stuff than expected. We had a truck, an SUV, my Jeep, and a car. We still couldn't fit everything. So, I found some plastic tarps in the church. I used those to put on top of my Jeep and the SUV. Then we put stuff in the tarps and wrapped them with cords and stuff to keep them down.
All this made us an hour and a half hour late in leaving.
On the way there stuff started falling out of the SUV's tarp thing. We stopped a total of 3 times. Another hour and a half wasted.
When we finally arrived, about 3 hours late, everyone asked me what we were going to do. I suggested having lunch (sandwhiches) first, since we hadn't had anything to eat. Everyone complained that they weren't hungry and that they wanted to set up tents. Fine. I let them. During that time the couple was already getting all huggy, kissy, and lusty. Then we started to get the fire going instead to have dinner. Joseph, the other youth leader, was in charge of two things; games and the fire. We used up about 3 hours or so trying to get the fire started. Finally we had dinner at 8 or so. Turns out quiet time is at 10. So we didn't have time for any of the lessons or any real games. I suggested we at least played a "get to know everyone" game. There were 3 cliques. The west side of Fort Worth kids, Selena's nephew's and nieces (Selena is the other youth leader), and about 4 other kids who didn't care to be a part of any of that and that mostly came for the lessons and stuff. The west side kids just went there to have fun. The only reason. So when I was telling people what we were going to do, Ana told me later that they didn't want to do that and that they all wanted to pull pranks and stuff. I was pissed by now. I gave rules the moment we were done with dinner. Told them that the nicest thing I would do is call their parents to pick them up. And told them to make sure NOT to go to either the girls side or the guys side during the night.
We played the get to know each other game. Unenthusiastically, by everyone including the other youth leaders. By this time Joseph and Selena had already been arguing a good bit. That's right. The two new youth leaders are a couple. I'm a GENIUS...
By the time we finished we didn't have time for anything so I let everyone go either to bed, or meet in the shelter which I had designated as "co-ed area".
I stayed up till 3 making sure no one was stupid.
The following morning I woke up and we all had breakfast and let everyone just run around for a bit. Then we got together to play kickball. Plan was to have a lesson after kickball.
Mid-game it began to rain. Then pour. Then storm. The girls tents flooded. I then ran to my Jeep to get my other umbrella. In the process I locked my keys inside my Jeep.
I'm a GENIUS...
Me and Helena decided to go ahead and leave at that moment and go to my house to get my spare. So we left the camp site and drove an hour and half to my house. It actually took two hours since we were leaving that storm. We got to my house were we had to wait for my mom to come back from the pharmacy with my aunt. My cousin informed me that she had spent the night in the hospital the night before. I got my spare and left. We barely got on the free way when Selena called me. She was stressed, I could tell. She didn't know what to do. Half of the people wanted to go home and another half wanted to stay. Some of the girls no longer had changes of clothes and their sleeping bags and blankets were wet. I said I had to think about it and that' I'd call her right back. She kept trying to suggest to just go home. I kept telling her I'd call right back.
On one hand these kids could get sick. On another it was still raining and packing up and driving in that wind wasn't safe.
She called back telling me to hurry up because there was drama. Later I'd find out that they had all gone to the boys tents and the couple started making out so they split them up again within the boys tents. One of the boy's stuff got messed with and wet because of the girls that were staying in his tent. He became upset.
I told her I'd call her right right back.
I made a decision.
I called her back and asked to speak to Joseph, he said he didn't care either way (his answer to EVERYTHING) and that it had stopped raining. That was perfect for my decision then. I told them to tell the kids to pack up.
A few minutes later Selena calls me telling me that the west side kids had told them that they weren't going to do anything until I arrived back. (WHAT THE HELL?! Am I the law or their parents?! NO!) So, I asked to speak to the kids. Told them that that was just too bad and since they had to do it at one point or another, that they may as well start NOW.
It was heck leaving. Selena and her family finished with their stuff and didn't help anyone else, NO ONE cleaned up their trash, Joseph was taking his sweet ass time, and I had to be going around telling people what to do. In the end I had to get EVERYONE and as a group go picking up stuff. I told that since they couldn't behave like responsible human beings for their own stuff or for their friends stuff, that we would do it all together like 5 year olds again. They must have been thirsting for discipline or order, because no one complained or anything. They did as they were told and efficiently. We all left. More jammed in then before because we had SOMEHOW lost the tarps we had used. We arrived at the church and a few kids wanted to spend the night there. Selena and Joseph didn't. So they took the rest of the kids home. Me and Helena stayed with the other kids at the church.
And in the end we had tons of excess food that had been bought with the extremely small amount of money we had in the youth budget at the church.
All of it gone to waste.
This is how I roll. Now we leave tonight to New Orleans.
I've been on edge. Helena never makes it better.
Her stupid blind optimism drives me insane.
Her near bipolar mood swings also don't help.
Go spring break.
The only hope I have is seeing Moe in her play.
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