There are parts of life that you never question until you have to deal with them yourself. And all of a sudden, you're not so sure of yourself, after all.

I feel so young.

I feel like I'm cramming for a big exam, one that I'm nervous about, for once. It's a really hard test. And the stakes are high.

I have a 2 day school week. Nice.

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My favorite point of view.

I think the frequent headaches recently are being caused by the freakishly cold water I have to swim in. I can feel it slapping my ear drums...it hurts.

I've got to get used to being in the water again. I mean, I'll never get used to the cold, but I can at least re-learn how to keep it out of my nose during backstroke. I have a great system, I know it! I just don't remember it.

I will, given time. TIME!

...I <3 physics. w00t!

OK, that was uncalled for. Sorry, all you literate types out there.

Watched my school's Drama Club's rendition of Shakespeare's The Tempest. It was pretty rad, even if I had a hard time catching all the words.

Notice that I used three possessive nouns just now. I'm just that talented.

How do you guys read my blog? I don't know if I could do it.

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I don't dislike rap. What disgusts me is the current state of the form.

You see, I'm a deep thinker. Yes, lately I've been filling this with...well, crap that nobody could care about. That's what a blog is for, right? Scum of the internet, that's me. But, regardless, I care very deeply about the truth. I don't mean little truths, like a person lying to me about where they've been or something. That's petty in comparison to The Truth. You know. Great questions. Things that people stay up at night worrying about, but don't during the day because it makes them nervous. And that's a heavy subject. I like to say to I'm a philosopher, or at least small time. I don't know how accurate that statement is, but I'm sticking with it. I prefer to pay more attention to things more important than...well, lots of stuff that people do everyday is pretty shallow. We pay way too much attention to things that just don't matter on the grand scale of things. We've got our noses stuck in the world. (This is why I tend to dislike online gamers and stuff, because they're even worse; they give importance to a world even less real than ours, a fantasy world. Not that it's pathetic, which it is, but it's just a huge waste.)

That, by the way, is probably the biggest reason I'm a Christian now. Not because I grew up with it. That is NOT what makes people a Christian, and it makes me angry to hear people saying they "used to be a Christian" but they grew out of it or something. Someone really close with God doesn't just "grow out of it". Going to church doesn't mean anything by itself. Nor does being baptized, really. For those of you who think like that, I say this: you give yourself too much credit. As a child, you "rode" the faith of your parents. That means nothing. Any child in a religious household will do that. I did that. It's like saying that you can drive because you passed Driver's Ed. It's not even close to the same. There comes a point in your life when you question your parents and upbringings. THAT is the real fork in the road. That's when you can either start changing your life, or decide that you've been wasting your time. Don't think that because you chose the latter you're more mature than other Christians, or, God forbid, your parents. You think you've been in the right spot, but found something even better (or found that it's no different than the rest). You're wrong, simply because you were never there in the first place.

Wow, that was a major tangent. I was just going to say that I'm only a Christian because I searched for truth, no matter the cost, and I was lucky enough to have lived down the road from it. And even that's not the main point.

To sum up what I want you to be thinking about...I'm intense. I don't care for the pointless things that tend to distract people in life. I try to concern myself with things that are really important. The deep topics.

There we go.

Anyway, that's what reflects in my musical taste. On one hand, I love the music that has the right qualities. I can't really define them, though Pandora.com seems to be able to, but mostly I can say that the music should make my brain happy, like solving a puzzle or reading a good poem. On the other hand, lyrics are key, especially lately. They'd better be meaningful. They'd better be poetic. Not too flowery. Mostly themes of pain, joy, love, and praise. Spittin' the truth.

Which brings me to rap. What I hear on the radio reminds me strongly of the Disney Channel: Cheap. Shallow. Popular because it has a good beat (and is it just me, or do lots of rap songs have the same bass beat? Maybe that's why they're so popular). The most popular rap is the stuff that appeals to our experiences, i.e., they remix something popular and ruin it. Have you heard the song based on E.T.? Why is that so popular? It's complete crap. Nothing is original, nothing is meaningful. Soulja Boy is a sick joke on society.

But that's not the definition of rap. Some of it is really good. Even if it's not musically appealing, the lyrics alone are enough to get my attention. And that's something special.

I guess that's what I wanted to say.

Oh, and any interested Christian should check out Disciple's older albums. I only make that distinction because nobody else is prone to like them.

EDIT: I need to work on staying on topic. Hahaha. Sorry.

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