My life...

hmm

I wish I could make it concise. I feel like there's just SO much going on right now, both inside and out, and I can't even really talk about it anymore. I hang out with people from church, a lot, and everyone wants to know how everyone else is doing. Which is fine! I like to ask people what's going on, and I like to be asked, usually.

But sometimes, I feel like it's just not an applicable question.

I went to a rather large conference in San Antonio last week, and leading up to it, everyone was getting really fired up and super excited about what was to come. People kept wanting to know how I was feeling, being a pretty new Christian and never having gone to such a large gathering before. I wasn't as energetic as others. I didn't really have any expectations. People ask, "how do you feel?" and I have to say, "I don't."

It's not that I wasn't happy to be going or anything like that. It's just that I tend to close off when the ambient excitement exceeds my own. And, while I CAN be very energetic and even hyper-active, it's not a state of being that I can hop into at will. When I feel like being quiet, I can't continue to be loud. It takes too much emotional stamina. At times like those, I prefer to watch more than to participate. I don't set expectations if I've got nothing to set them by. It makes no sense to me.

On a related note, the conference was a total blast. I met a few people, had a lot of fun, and generally just learned a lot. It's definitely a good thing that I decided to go (mostly at the urging of my fellow disciples, haha).

I feel sort of bad that I don't post here as much as I used to. I feel like this community is stagnating a bit, and I'm not helping by being absent. At the same time...I dunno, I guess my urge to blog has severely decreased in the past few months. I talk about my life with friends a lot more than I used to, so maybe the need for me to write things down and work them out has diminished.

I do miss my old friends, though. Everyone seems so busy and far away, though I guess the same is true of me. It's possible my naivete about the bonds of highschool friendship is wearing off. Maybe that's a good thing? Still sad, but it is what it is. I feel like the people I used to be close to just aren't the same anymore. Certainly, I'm not. (And here, I thought I would always be the same.) Our interests and values don't meet up anymore. The only thing holding us together is a commitment and nostalgia.

How tenuous.

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Come on, people. A magician can't pull himself out of the hat. Especially if the space and time that the hat exists in...doesn't exist.

I mean, the odds of a universe, a solar system, and a planet all being able to support life? Vanishingly small. However, there's still that unimaginably small chance of it happening.

The odds of the fabric of reality just appearing? (And it must have, at some point.) Null. Zero. Not REALLY SMALL, but plain old 0. Not without "supernatural intervention".

Religion doesn't have any rhyme, reason, or scientific support? Please.

1) Yeah, it does. (I've noticed that Real Player works better than Media Player)

2) What science supports Atheism, and nothing but? Other than evolution theory, I haven't heard of anything like that. And since when did evolution even rule out the supernatural? You don't have a leg to stand on.

As for, and I quote, "their unsophisticated mind"s, (kay2zed) wow. You, sir, are sadly mistaken, and more than a bit haughty. If I may go so far. Don't get me wrong; I respect your intellect, and from what I've read, your passion for deep thought and writing. But, frankly, if someone is wrong, it doesn't matter how well they answer.

Bah. You guys boggle my mind.

UPDATE:

In response to Unicornasaurus: The thing about evolution was exactly my point. It doesn't support any particular religious view, but some people seem to think it's an atheistic thing.

When I hear a plausible theory for the beginning of the universe that leaves no room for any God, but especially not the Christian God, then I will shut up. Until then, let it be clear that there are no other real alternatives for Big Bang Theory, yet. I doubt we're going to get one. But I'll have to accept it if one emerges.
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In response to Ranor: I completely agree with you. Science is (or, would be,) the language of God. Go Science!

But when science says the impossible happened, like the Big Bang, then you begin to wonder. The science isn't wrong, but there's an element that can not be explained in a purely scientific view. That must be where God steps in.

Scientific experiments will never be able to answer the questions we ask like "Why are we here" or "where does it come from". But can't science at least say "it" did, in fact, come from somewhere?
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I'm happy that we can get along here.

Let me make myself more clear. This post is not meant to make you reconsider what you believe. I'm not even trying. I want you to look at WHY you believe it. There's no real, logical reason to think that there ISN'T a higher being. I mean, the thing I keep seeing is that religious people are ignorant, or that we have no basis for our faith. I see the term "blind faith" a lot. This post is mostly my response to the entry by Kay2zed linked above.

The way I see it, lots of people think that being an atheist is more logical because one only believes in what one can see and verify. A part of your paradigm is that if you can't prove it, then it doesn't exist. My point is that, maybe this approach requires at least as much "blind faith" as another view, especially when the evidence starts pointing in the other direction?

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The only reason I'm posting this is because I'm vaguely proud of it. This is the new "About Me" on facebook. Enjoy, if you want.

"Like every other teenager in the world, I'm unique and fairly complex. Odds are that your first, second, and third impressions of me were wildly off the mark, because you only met me on three separate occasions.

That is simply not enough. I've been known to act completely different around different sets of people, ESPECIALLY new people. You might think I'm immature. You might (rarely) think that I'm quiet. VERY wrong on both accounts.

I'm very intense. If I like something, I like it a lot, with gusto. If I dislike it, I dislike it with the thunder of 999 children laughing.

I enjoy figurative speech. :D

And emoticons (you know, the little faces you make on the computer. You knew that, right?)

And a fair amount of irony or sarcasm makes any day brighter.

For many years of my life I pretended to be a Christian, and only started looking at my beliefs a few years ago. I've re-affirmed my vows, so to speak. Popular to contrary belief, I didn't have to ignore all rationality and logic to do so. (I'm itching for someone to message me about this.)

I like to think I'm fairly intelligent. I like to learn, especially physics and the like. I don't argue unless I think I have points good enough to argue with, so if I get into a debate with you, you had better know your material well.

How many people noticed that I switched the positions of the words "contrary" and "popular" in the expression I used a while ago? Good for you!

I maintain a web log (I'M A BLOGGER, OH NOES!) where I rant and ramble and generally talk about the people who annoy me behind their backs (kidding). I figure if you were interested to read this much about me on a back-yard page on my facebook, then you deserve to know that. If you insist on reading my soul, though, I ask that you make yourself known instead of being creepy. You know how it is.

A less stalker-ish alternative would be to listen to my Project Playlist. Especially the songs at the bottom (they're not in alphabetical order like the rest). My music reflects my personality better than I could express here. See how the lyrics have substance? How the music is edgy and rough? That's me. Comparing my favorite songs to all the mainstream crap (Yes, it is almost all crap) is like comparing real food to candy corn. Two much of one makes you feel full and satisfied, but too much of the other makes you feel sick to your stomach.

Except it's food for your soul!"

The other reason I posted this here is that nobody will ever see it otherwise. Those "tabbed" pages on facebook never see the light of day, let's face it.

"wiseguysupreme4: I think I need to change the music part to include more kinds.
[she sends me something on facebook, so I respond on IM]
wiseguysupreme4: Candy corn IS delic.
wiseguysupreme4: Like mainstream sounds good.
wiseguysupreme4: But what is candy corn? All sugar and corn syrup.
wiseguysupreme4: And mainstream is all good beats and SINFULNESS.
wiseguysupreme4: (Most of it)
Romanticocabrita: Yum"

:D

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has anyone here aver lost a grandparent, parent, or even spouse? i found this totally by accident...was looking for something totally different. (*God's Work*) anyway, this really spoke to me, as i lost my father, and my friend might be losing a friend in his gramma as i type (*God* showed this to me for my friend) here's the link

Afterlivin

comment if this hits u

*if my mentioning God disturbs you, MegaByte me. Im Christian, and proud*

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