That's me!

Actually it's a book I have about a man named Colin with a dark past steeped in mystery and magic, and he has to deal with the forces of good and evil fighting over him for reasons he doesn't completely understand. It's a bit corny, but not too bad. I think that when two authors collaborate...well, let's just say I'm not a huge fan of it.

Is anyone here a fan of the band "fun."? Here's their myspace. I really love Be Calm.

Oh man, I've been on facebook so long that I almost forgot how to write HTML links. Gosh.

Speaking of weak programming skills, I have been enjoying Rainmeter very much. I plan on learning to make my own skins in that, but for now I'm happy using Omnimo and editing it a bit. My desktop looks sort of baller right now, not gonna lie.

Also, I finished the pig latin translator (did I already say that?) and now I really want to do a stutter and maybe even a Morse code translator. That could actually be useful...

My IB exams are over...now I only have a few normal end-of-year exams to do. It's hard to concentrate on the little homework I have left at this point. This cannot be a good way to start off college. I'll just have to figure it out.

This weekend has been pretty rad so far, but of course now it's Sunday and I have to DO WORK. Man. But this band is SO GOOD! Actually I'm only getting every other song on their myspace playlist, hahaha.

AND OH YEAH I have a job interview Monday. I am the last person I know to get a job. I feel like I'm failing at life or something. But anyway it's on Monday and I plan on being a lifeguard for real this time. Wish me luck! I have never done this before.

I am not going to lie. I am VERY disappointed about how the magazine turned out this year. I was SO EXCITED about it, remember? The layout was awesome, the cover was awesome, and most of the poetry and especially the art was fantastic. But now all these mistakes have come up (of course after we printed) and I'm not sure it's all the printer's fault. Some of it definitely is, though. All of our page layout elements are meant to be greyscale, even on the "color" pages (most pages are completely greyscale, even the art, in an effort to save money, so we have certain pages set aside to be with color). But on the color pages, our blacks are more like dark magenta or in some cases navy blue. What the heck. Also there are some details that seemed to have changed, like missing drop-shadows and THE LINES OF MY HAIKU BEING OUT OF ORDER. For real. OUT OF ORDER. I thought I was misrepresented when they changed my careful punctuation a few years ago, but now I see that even when I am on the staff I have to be wary of liberties taken with my poetry! And also one of my pictures was on a color page, but apparently we were wrong about that because it printed in B&W. On Tuesday I'm going to look through the PDFs we sent the printer and see how much of this is our fault and how much wasn't.

Anyway, now I am really only proud of the cover (even though they didn't use the right gloss on the cover so now it sucks up finger oils like mad). Most of the problems are little things that nobody would ever notice (except that haiku thing)...but those are exactly the mistakes that will cost the magazine a good rating at the competition next year. Dang itttt. I was so proud.

Now I'm all peeved again. Bah. I went swimming yesterday and it was quite a lot of fun. The weather was hot and perfect. I had to swim in my pants and then drive in my underwear because the whole thing was sort of a surprise to me. But that's part of the fun!

Ehhh. I've spent a while writing this. I'm out!

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I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle the intricacies of life. I am going to FAIL at LIFE in the most embarrassing fashion possible.

I've screwed up scholarships.

I've screwed up relationships.

I'm working really hard on screwing up getting a job.

How do I expect to live alone?

How do I expect to stay organized and just keep track of things? How do I expect to pay for those things?

I'm just a charming mess. And I'm not even really that charming.

On one hand, this depression of sorts might be linked to my mom making me feel like total dick. Not A dick. Just. Dick.

On the other hand, I might just be dick.

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First and most awesome:



There's no support, so using them puts huge emphasis on muscles and nerves long-forgotten after the advent of the tennis shoe. Also, I've played more Ultimate Frisbee since Friday than I had for half a year, so I am taking the full brunt of the transition right now. I am so sore, both from the added exercise and the strange muscle group.

As for the shoes, THEY ARE AWESOME. I love wearing them. I love looking at them. It's kind of hard to describe...the toe pockets are probably really weird to anyone who doesn't wear toe socks (me). Plus the soles let me feel the ground I am walking on. It's cool! It's basically like walking barefoot, with all the fun stuff and athletic benefits, but with a much smaller chance of slicing my foot open on a rock or something. And they can go pretty much anywhere! Rad!

Muffy, I think you might be interested in these!

Also, I've been hitting up some bands that I appreciate but don't LOVE. This has led me to some songs that I really adore, like Be Calm.

"As I walk through the streets of my new city
my back feeling much better, I suppose
I've reclaimed the use of my imagination
for better or for worse, I've yet to know
but I always knew you'd be the one to understand me,
I guess that's why it took so long to get things right.
Suddenly I'm lost
On my street
On my block

Oh why, Oh why
Oh why haven't you been there for me?
Can't you see, I'm losing my mind this time?
This time I think it's for real, I can see

All the tree tops turning red
The beggars near bodegas grin at me
I think they want something
I close my eyes, I tell myself to breathe

and be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes.
Be calm.

I'm scared that everyone is out to get me.
"These days before you speak to me you pause."
"I always see you looking out your window."
"After all, you lost your band, you left your mom."
Now every single crack, every penny that I pass,
says I should either leave or pick it up
But with every single buck I've made
I'm saddled with bad luck that came

the moment I was baptized
or when I found out one day I'm gonna die
if only I could find my people or my place in life
a when they come a'carolin'
so loud, so bright, the theremin
will lead us to a chorus
where we'll all rejoice and sing a song that goes:

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.

I don't remember much that night,
Just walking, thinking fondly of you
Thinking how the worst is yet to come
When from that street corner came a song
And I can't remember the man,
The panhandler or his melody.
The words exchanged had far exceeded any change I'd given thee.

Oh be calm.
Be calm.
I know you feel like you are breaking down.
Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes,
Be calm.
Take it from me, I've been there a thousand times.
You hate your pulse because it still thinks you're alive
and everything's wrong
It just gets so hard sometimes
Be calm.
Be calm."

Funny timing, huh? Enjoy.

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Get up at 8:45
Two french toasts (eat light)
Drive to the park at 9:30
Play ultimate frisbee from 10:30 to 12
Drive home at 12:10
Shower, dress, etc (don't stop to eat)
Wedding at 1:30
Fill up on finger food and cake around 2:45

I'm not quite sure what happened after that. I went home and took several naps, then ended up sleeping clean through the rapture and woke up after 9. Whoops!

Now I'm hungry.

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