More heartfelt than most romantic songs these days.

"There's a story in your eyes
I can see the hurt behind your smile
For every sign I recognize
Another one escapes me

Let me know what plagues your mind
Let me be the one to know you best
Be the one to hold you up
When you feel like you're sinking

Tell me once again
What's beneath the pain you're feeling
Don't abandon me
Or think you can't be saved

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far

Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

Summon up your ghosts for me
Rest your tired thoughts upon my hand
Step inside the sacred place
When all your dreams seem broken

Resonate inside this temple
Let me be the one who understands
Be the one to carry you
When you can walk no further

Tell me once again
What's below the surface bleeding
If you've lost your way
I will take you in

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far

Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you

Oh when everything is wrong
Oh when hopelessness surrounds you
Oh the sun will rise again
The tide you swim against will carry you back home
So don't give up
Don't give in

I walk beside you
Wherever you are
Whatever it takes
No matter how far

Through all that may come
And all that may go
I walk beside you
I walk beside you"

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I've dreamed about people a lot lately. Usually I don't recall dreaming at all, or I have some epic novel of a dream that seems to last for days, so it's weird for them to be about real people. Hanging out with someone I miss, stuff like that...I've also had several dreams where people who I know to be dead are somehow...not so. During the dream I either take their presence for granted, or refer back to some strange prior event that explains things.

My dad's eyes were the wrong color. And he was too short.

But at least he had hair.

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For the fraternity retreat this weekend, we went to one guy's house about an hour away. The place was HUGE! His family is very well off.

There was a tanning bed in the basement! Seriously.

I figured, you know, I've never even seen a tanning bed before, and now this guy's got one in his basement? I've got to try it. So I hopped in for a few (read, five) minutes. Yes they're terrible for you. But you know what? Five minutes of my ENTIRE LIFE in a tanning bed will not have any effect. It isn't like every second of exposure to harmful rays adds up over your entire lifetime. Your cells have natural functions to repair enzyme damage. Granted, this isn't a perfect process, but it does manage to keep us from developing tumors every time we go out in daylight. So I'm not worried.

Unfortunately, when I mentioned it on facebook (I think the idea of me in a tanning bed is hilarious) I got lectured by a few people...like my roommate. He gave me some statistic about people using tanning beds before the age of 21 developing cancer.

Right. So apparently Roomy is unaware that my father, my father's mother, my mother's father, and (I think) one of my great grandfathers have all died of various kinds of cancer (not of the skin, though). Which leaves me with a possibly high chance of developing those myself. Honestly, I'm more worried about getting cancer UNDER my skin than in it. So his little statistic not only bothers me because it doesn't apply to me (cough five minutes cough) but because it implies that I don't know shit about tanning beds, because he has no idea what my actual risk factors are, and because I'm sitting there trying to express that I do, in fact, know what my various risk factors are without being like "YO MAN I'VE WATCHED MEMBERS OF MI FAMILIA DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH I KNOW MORE ABOUT CANCER THAN YOU DO SHITHEAD" and he just won't...take the hint.

"People who use tanning beds before the age of 21 are 50% more likely to get skin cancer.

Keep that in mind."

"[roommate], I know perfectly well what my risks of getting various forms of cancer are, thanks."

"Yeah, that's because I just told you what they were, Steve."

"No it's because I make it my business to know my lineage."

"What a boring response."

"You may think so."

"Indeed. That would be why I said it."

wtf

I don't like telling people about my dad, mostly because there isn't really an appropriate time to mention that in most conversations, and partly because I don't like forcing people to feel bad. And I ESPECIALLY don't like using it as a guilt trip. That's just awful, and when people do stuff like that it's just completely low-down and dirty. So this is an awkward situation for me because I'm trying to say "dude you need to stop" without just outright saying it. Plus he's sort of being a dick in general.

"People who go outside before the age of 21 are also much more likely to get skin cancer. I guess you're the safest person here."
I suppose I am also being a dick.

EDIT:
Also, on Saturday, I decided to try out the zipline in this dude's back yard. So after a few minutes of trying to climb the base tree, which was apparently not intended for climbing, I managed to get high enough to sit on the seat instead of hanging off the bottom like everyone else was doing. Then one of the guys grabbed the bottom and gave me a running start...right at a tree. There was a pillow tied to it, but I wasn't wearing my glasses and the seat was rotating and I was barefoot, so the idea of bracing with my feet was pretty daunting...but not as much as just crashing into it. Still, as hard as I tried, I was unable to position myself for the impact...and just before the collision, the zipline caught on a stop in the wire and whiplashed me to a stop. I was so close to banging my rear on the trunk that everyone watching thought that I had actually crashed into it.

After jumping off the seat and collapsing on the ground, I realized my chest was hurting from the compression and whiplash. And now today, Sunday, I feel like I did a full upper body workout. Arms, back, abs, shoulders...everything is sore. Pretty crazy to experience.

DOUBLE EDIT:
I was only clarifying the zipline thing in my comments because I feel like it wasn't very well explained here in my post. The joke Zanzibar made (which I appreciate) made me more sure that I was being too vague. So that's why I corrected myself through comments. Sorry for the misunderstanding, ladies.

I take being funny very seriously. And I take being serious very...funnily?

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Formal chapter tonight. This should be fun.

I'm trying to get back into a regular swimming schedule. Unfortunately, my time during the day is split up into impossible chunks, and I can't stick pool time in there unless I want to waste valuable space on all the commuting overhead. Commuting overhead for swimming is obnoxious. It's too cold to walk to/from the pool in my swim clothes or flip flops, which means I have to change at the pool (and wear shoes on my wet feet, ick). On top of that, I don't really want to carry my swim clothes at school throughout the day, and after I swim I have to deal with the clothes immediately or they'll get moldy/make everything smell like bromine. Which means if I want to go between classes, I have to walk home, walk to the pool, swim n' junk, walk home, and then walk back to class. And I COULD do that, but I'd rather use my meager three hour break for eating, praying, studying, visiting friends, etc.

The other option is to go at night, after I've settled down - well, the pool closes at eight. And I have evening activities literally every day of the week. So that's out.

My last option: morning swimming. My weakness! But I must, or else I'll never be fit again. So now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to pull off getting up an hour earlier than normal (I already wake up earlier than I need to) and not break my fragile sleep cycle. I can probably avoid stupid-late nights a little better, but not all of those are my fault.

Zanzipal, tell me what you come up with for your nuts schedule. I'm thinking of starting with twice a week (because I am sadly and disappointingly out of shape) and working up to 3, and then maybe one more on Saturdays.

On an unrelated note, Red's album Release the Panic is pretty boss. I enjoy getting back into some harder rock and metal.

(HA! See what I did there?)

Now to make sure I'm all dressed up and stuff.

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