I've noticed that in addition to being really reserved, I never really think things through before saying them when I'm around people that I... admire. And I think my radical ideas keep people distanced from me. I have some rather personal dreams of mine that probably scare people when I tell them. I've been called a lot of things in my life, but never: sweet, caring, understanding, helpful, loyal, kind... There are too many things to name.

Maybe I have some kind of lepracy that everyone but me can see... That would explain the way some people look at me and talk about me behind my back...

Well, I'm not totally overcome by what people say and think. I have an emotional wall from the world, which isn't good to have because it prevents me from commiting myself to people... *sigh* I guess I should go to bed...

Later, DS,
~ "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Iceburg Lettuce."

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I had a doctor's appointment at nine this morning, so I missed first period and most of second. I got into third and butchered my soliloquy. Then I went to Bio and actually worked. Did nothing in Geo and had to leave before I could do any of my High-Jumping in Track, though I still got to run my mile...

Do any of you think I distance myself from people really hastily when any sort of commitment to someone comes up? I mean, thanks to a few... not-so-great things that have happened in the past, I'm sort of afraid to commit myself to someone, even though I WANT to commit myself to her. Life really sucks sometimes...

Later, DS,
~ The dark world is made of crystal...

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..::Happy Birthday, Emerald!::.. Aren't you almost proud you're 15?

Today was kind of slow, we watched a video on Hitler in history, but I knew most of the information from anyway, so I didn't really need to watch it. Then we went into Bio and I forgot what Urea was during our review. Then we watched by least favorite movie ever. "The Universe Within" if I remember correctly. The good part was that NOVA cut out the birthing scene from the video that Mrs. Hamilton brought in, unlike the one that Mr. Hoag showed us in 7th grade (and Fiore in 8th).

I had four hours of Track after that, and I must admit my form is pretty good for long jump. Rick decided to come out after about a half hour of practice holding a broom. We all wondered what he was doing until he told us to run. He expected us to clear the top of the broomstick. I decided to go first, and it was painful, as I missed clearing it by about half an inch and my foot got caught on it and slammed into my other leg. I tore some random ligament, but I kept jumping for the next two hours. I ended up getting in jumps from eightteen to twenty feet. Too bad I can only participate in one meet before I get punted...

Later, DS,
 ~ I want to be able to stare at someone and have their head explode.

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I don't think today was a good day for wooing Rosie... I ended up getting in a debate about phones with Bonita and I sorta said I got out my phone (camera phone) because Rosie was around. Eventually she left to talk to... someone else and she ended up yelling, "Robert is taking pictures of you!" to her. That was kinda bad, I think. I wouldn't know. I haven't been able to work up the nerve to say anything to her yet.

In other news, I got shot at Track for not sending them some email that I was supposed to... And I might get punted from the team for that and a few other reasons pertaining to grades...

Happy almost-birthday to Emerald! You're going to be 15 and you can... uh... go to the same places you could when you were 14! Isn't that exciting?!

I want to go back in time to re-do a lot of things, but I can't. I want to relive falling in love with people...

Later, DS,
~ Shouldn't the plural of walrus be walri? Or does that sound too much like bread that you'd never want to eat?

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I've talked to three people that have asked my why I act so distant in the past eightteen hours (while that may not be quoting, it was the general idea I got from all of you...). And, again, all I can say is it's a reflex I've built up over time. I'm not really enthused with the idea of why I do that publically known, but I will say what happened had me sobbing for a couple days.

Wow. 5:45 AM is the time I finished less than half of my homework today. I'm lucky I have the will to work myself to death or else I would have been royally screwed when I got to school. I'm not going to list my homework again, it's too much to type. For all of you who are wondering what I did that I couldn't do my homework because of, I was at the hospital all weekend with my mom... Well, not all weekend, I got back home around four and slept till five, then woke up to do my homework. (Technically I wasn't there past visiting hours either, but I went to sleep when I got home on Saturday.)

For all of you people who still believe I'm smart, listen to this. I have a D in French, so I went up to ask what I could do to raise the grade. She told me assignments she would except if I made them up, so I did. I turned them in the next day. Then, on Friday, she comes up and asks me where all the make-up work I said I would do is. I told her I turned it in on Thursday and she said she'd look. I came in today and she asked me again. Again, I said I had done it and turned it in. She said, "No you didn't, I haven't seen a bit of work from you." And I, being my dumbass self, said, "I know, but..." As soon as "I know" rolled off my tounge, she said. "Aha! Case closed. I'm disappointed in you, Robert." And then she went back to her work. Now who but me would say "I know" to 'you didn't do your work'? My standard responses don't do me any good sometimes.

Other than that, the stalking count is up to four. Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of free time...

Later, DS,
~ Dig a hole, dig a hole.

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Have you ever noticed how noble you start to feel when you walk by someone that you have feelings for? If you hadn't guessed, I have. I was running and sort of hamming it up whenever I passed her, which I counted as three times, she was behind me after I started running again... Yeah, you know who you are. (In case you were wondering, the mile I ran was a 5:44 7/10).

Other than that tidbit, I didn't really do any of my homework but the Phillips Tip Sheet, and although I got that done, I got screwed royally in math when I decided to go up and tell her I didn't do my homework... But when she came around to check I had it done. She thought I copied someone and I have dentention and got a nice call home.

In other news, I made a bookself. Note I didn't say "put a bookself together". I cut the wood and sized it myself. The only thing I got was a cardboard-like material print of wood for the back since it wouldn't have fit in my room if I used another oak slab.

All else I have to say can be summarized in the phrase, " 'Me' time." I have a lot of people to think about and relationships to think over - none of which are TOO personal at the moment... Though I wouldn't mind a change in any of them...

Later, DS,
~ This Weblog: Spreading obvious misinformation since 1876.

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