Okay, I realize I haven't updated this in a while, but I was on a mission. I've been trying to get a life. Unfortunately, it isn't working.

Well, anyway, I'm not very motivated to really do anything outstanding for my Court of Honor because the person who I really wanted there has to study and can't come... so it's going to be pretty boring for everyone else.

Well, that's about it. As I said, my plan to find a life isn't working. I think I'm going to go steal one...

Later, DS
~ To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

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I'm going to go out and basically carol with this group I found for two days straight in a bit. I might as well make a difference to someone, right? Well, anyway, I wrote my first poem in three months and a story to empty myself of negative feelings and the like, which I think was a good idea. I actually feel pretty decent at the moment - besides being a little sick. So here's my poem because I'm too lazy to update my module.

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Well, I tried out for the Mills badminton team - the all asian badminton team. They said they liked me on the first day and, on the second, basically implied the complete opposite. It looks like the team is remaning all asian, but hey, I can still hope, right?

I'm pretty sore after that. I had nearly four hours of playing at a semi-constant rate. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get a cramp everytime I stood up. But whatever. I feel like going to bed.

Actually, Nicole just told me that my name was written on the final list, but it was really tiny (along with Nils' too). She found it kind of odd that the two white guys that tried out were both written so small in such an obscure place on the paper. So do I... but hey, at least I got to play a few good games.

Later, DS
~ If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what really throws you into a panic.

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Not being able to hear out of one ear for the entire day is kind of annoying. I was literally three feet away from someone without being able to understand what they were saying. I got home and called the doctor's office and he said that I have normal symptoms. Normal symptoms of what, I have no idea - I could be dying for all I know.

Also, yesterday, I was at Casey's house since I finally decided to stop being an ass to her and around six o'clock, I decided to take a nap. Unfortunately, said nap turned into a... thirteen hour sleep. She apparently tried to wake me up, but I didn't, so I ended up spending the night... and waking up in an odd room that I'd never seen before... and I'd rather not go into more detail. But anyway, it was pretty annoying. I got absolutely no homework done, save my French (but I did that in class). And I had a hell of a time getting something to Emerald also - I even forgot to say what I meant to.

Well... that was a random jumble of thoughts. Penguin!

Later, DS
~ (1/2)m(v)² = mgh

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Yes, yes. Happy Thanksgiving or whatever. If you aren't celebrating it, you should. If there's no way you're going to do anything, have a fun with your break from school. I've got a whole lot of nothing to do today, but I won't bore you by making up details.

^{START - Stuff you probably don't want to read:}...I guess I'll just bore you with other details of my life. My attitude toward the Emerald situation is rather taxing. (Basically, I'm crushing the intangible...) That's all I'm going to say about that, though. Otherwise, life is pretty stagnant. Seriously. The most thought-provoking thing I've done all morning is eat an Altoid. I should probably go have a really deep conversation with someone... Maybe later.

It's weird. People have been really nice to me lately. Well, if I had to define weird, I'd say it's just plain creepy. I mean, on Friday, I was basically mobbed every time I took my earbuds out of my ears. First Daisy, then Angel, then Angelina, then Jacki, then Allison, and the list goes on. I found that good incentive to go hide out by the locker room and pretend to be busy. Coincidentally, I'm afraid to open my locker because of all the stuff said people have been shoving into it... Although the Crunch bar was pretty good. I'm still puzzled as to how whoever it was fit it in without breaking it, though... As I said. Things are creepy. _{END - Stuff you probably don't want to read.}

Y'know. I just got to thinking. I'm sure everyone has something to be thankful for, even if they think their life can't get any worse. If you really had no hopes or dreams and nothing positive ever happened to you, you wouldn't be here - alive that is. I don't know how anyone can say that there's nothing in the world that can help cheer them up. What about someone's care? Someone's love? There are a million possibilities and one has to fit. I obviously find happiness through my dreams and what I can do for people; I do so without even trying. So everyone has something whether it be on the surface or buried deep inside... You only need to work a little to find what you think is lost because it's really just around the corner, waiting to brighten your day.

Later, DS
~ "How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." - Henry Thoreau

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Ups and downs and whatnot. That's the extent of my life at the moment - one big mood swing. I get happy, then sad, but at least Emerald still does stuff that makes me happy.

Now that that's done with, I'll get to my week. In PE, we're playing this awesome game called Speedball. I won't get into the details because I don't understand them myself, but it's really awesome. It makes PE worthwhile. I get the crap beaten out of me every game we play... and I end up getting some accidental shots in on other people also. If you've never played it, you're missing out on some good fun... note I didn't say clean.

I hit that "caring about someone else more than myself" point again, so my grades have taken a lovely dive. At least they drop in symmetry.

I'm still kind of afraid of Casey after what she did, but we had a conversation... which I don't think helped her case with me at all. She really didn't give any hint that she was sorry at all. I realize that if I were to shun her completely, though, that I'd be doing to her exactly what I can't stand to be done to me so that's out. But, on a sidenote, I'm rather sure I would have gone for it were I the me of a year and a half ago today. It's a scary thought for me now, having changed so much in that time.

David is supposed to show me a hot guy friend of his sometime, also. It should be... interesting to meet him.

Well, that's about it. I don't want to think too much and depress myself again.

Later, DS
~ Hard work is for people short on talent.

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