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Robert Zimmerman: Spreading obvious misinformation since 1935!

Au Sujet De Moi (Vraiment!)


Robert Zimmerman

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Location: Are you a stalker?... Wait.      Â Don't answer that... I'd rather not      Â know.

Optimistic Pessimism: The glass is half      Â full of emptiness.

 Â» Find out more like the stalker you are.

Also, if you think I'm a stalker my IP is: 24.4.89.206 Figure out if I am on your own.

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Psycho Babble

Welcome to Not Getting Run Over By A Forklift 101. For our first lesson we'll... ack! No. NO! What a terrible way to start the class!

But aren't solar-powered vampires a bit impractical?

Did you know I have somewhere around one hundred forty entires?

The primary function of the United States Coast Guard (besides protecting the borders and patroling national waters) is to travel back in time and battle pirates!

If wishes were squids, then beggars would write. With the ink, you see. The ink of SO MANY SQUIDS.

"It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."
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..:No Worries:..
Sunday 7.18.04 4:07 pm

Well, I didn't quite change the layout in the way I expected... I didn't realize that the color scheme I had for my old "The Wingless" layout would look better with this one than the colors I picked. So I guess I should just say I have a new page header. At least you don't have to scroll down to see what my page says anymore.

Yes, anyway, back to the more important things in my life. I was worried sick from about 10:30 last night to 2:45ish, and then again from around 9:28 this morning to 3:12. I was sleeping during the missing chunk of time, so I didn't count it. I said was worried, meaning it's over, but I do feel sort of stupid about the entire thing. It's my fault I was so worried in the first place, since I could have easily prevented myself the trouble. Crying yourself to sleep is never fun.

Ahem. I saw King Arthur yesterday and I must admit it was pretty good. There were a few inaccuracies that I saw, but nothing too major... I think the worst part of it was the fact that I sat through the entire movie thinking, "Damn. Arthur was a barbarian... They didn't even have chainmail, let alone plate, back when he allegedly lived..." Or at least something along those lines. I also found it interesting that Arthur wore his riding pants the entire movie... Other than that it was good. I can't say having a fire ant crawl into my shoe and bite me a few times was pleasurable, but it wasn't part of the movie. At least I didn't kill anyone when I took my shoe off to shake it out.

Now that my life has been set on course once again, it's time to go and read. I think I have fifty pages of The Shadow Rising left to read and then it's on to... whatever the next book in the series is.

Later, DS
~ The best way to defend yourself from CARNIVOROUS PARROTS is to give them CHEWING GUM.

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..:What Am I Thinking?:..
Saturday 7.17.04 5:49 pm

I'm going to make a few changes... if you can call them that, anyway. First off, the layout will die and be reborn as something completely different (preferably something pretty and pinkish-purple). For all of you who think I'd be crazy to do that: congratulations, you've finally figured out my "style". Next, I'd like to add more random poetry and update C. Dust very soon, though that might not happen for a bit. And... that's about it really. I was thinking of making my entries a little more substantial, but then I realized that would not only get more people to notice me but I'd be dragging down the intelligent peoples' reputations for a bit of personal gain.

At any rate, I just found a lane sticker from track - my favorite lane sticker. It used to be a "4" but I bent it in half and turned it into a "v", thus making it my "v4". It was a track joke, don't pretend to find it funny if you don't... and if you do, I pity you.

That's about it for now. I didn't mean to get into the general swing of things and add very much to this entry beyond the layout change, so consider yourselves unlucky for my having disgraced you.

Later, DS
~ I must stop thinking. Every time I think a thought, that is a thought lost, unspoken. If I think it, it lives and dies in my head and is never born in the open air. I must speak, not think.

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..:Neglect:..
Thursday 7.15.04 9:38 pm

I'm so sorry, my poor NuTang - I've been neglecting you! Of course, my life really isn't very interesting at the moment, so I don't suppose that it really matters. Maybe some good will come of my sleepover. Rachel is trying to pry me away to go do something and I'm getting a ton of phone calls from Casey, Jenny, and Pera since they're lost...

I'm sorry, I must go.

Later, DS
~ Twas brillig, and the slithy toaves did gire and gimbal in the wabe.

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..:Retourne-Moi:..
Sunday 7.11.04 9:05 pm

So what exactly was I doing at camp you ask? Well, I'll give you a watered down summary, then go a tad more in-depth. I began the week at my boy scout camp taking three merit badges: Indian Lore, Space Exploration, and Chemistry. Twas quite fun, since my classes were very spread out and in my free time I learned how to play Hearts and Rummy. Oh yes, how could I forget actually getting to play Ultimate (Frisbee) and getting to wake people up by smacking their tents with a large PVC cold water pipe? Getting kicked off stage was fun also.

Let's see. The day I left was rather interesting. I got up at about eleven AM and we left for Santa Rosa. I had packed everything the night before and set aside a few things I knew I would use during the ride. Unfortunately, I left behind the book I'd been reading, The Shadow Rising, so I was forced to endure my gimpy laptop the enitre ride... Accompanied by Unreal Tournament and the greater portion of my CD collection. It was sort of hard to actually play UT as my laptop kept turning itself off and freezing and refusing to reboot and whatnot, but I tried. Anyway, we (mi padre y mi) were headed up to Santa Rosa to see my grandmother before we went to camp, so we did... and I was forced to explain my Eagle project in excruciating detail to her. Don't get me wrong, I love to make my grandmother happy... I know how little time she has left, and it's not really a lack of patience, either. It's just that my dad decided to start bragging about it to her and then forced me to tell her about it. I noted that she didn't particularly enjoy my explanation either. So we ended up taking her out to dinner at Cattleman's (... no wonder he "can't afford" to give us any more of his paycheck than he does) and we stayed at the Courtyard Marriot. I'm not going to go over the details of what happened in the hot tub, though. *giggles in a childish manner*

The next day, we drove up to camp and checked in. I was planning on doing Shotgun Shooting, but I realized that D.C. wasn't the range master, so I chose... something else instead, though I'm not exactly sure what it was. I ended up signing myself up for Indian Lore, Space Exploration, and Chemistry. So about a half hour after we got there, other people started arriving and taking tents and most of them, if not all, were rather pissed I took the tent I did before they got there. I ended up sharing it with Chris, though, in the end. The camp tour started some time after that and I was sort of pissed at having to do it, so I was muttering to myself the entire time. When we got to the pool, I realized I hadn't changed into my swimsuit for the swim check, so I got a non-swimmer buddy tag and later came down with two Sharpies (Comment utillez-vous votre Sharpie?) and doctored it to show me as a Blue Swimmer (ie the highest swimming ability). I also fixed Taylor's buddy tag to be a blue swimmer and, since he's the worst "swimmer" I have ever seen, it was rather fun seeing him nearly down in the diving pool after I got over the initial distress.

I have yet to mention that I was in charge of twenty-eight scouts... so, needless to say, I went to bed early so the adults would have to deal with them.

I spent my days going to class, playing Ultimate, learning/playing card games, talking to people, and... waiting on tables at dinner. I even learned how to use a loom and I made plans for making a bracelet for someone special. Overall, it was actually quite productive.

I met a fellow named Dave Matthews and had him sign a sweatshirt for me so I could sell it to a friend also. He doesn't have any relation to the singer, but I thought it would be a nice gesture to James.

Ah, a point of camp that I didn't like. It makes me incredibly depressed to hear someone say, " I hate myself." I always end up trying to comfort them... and, guess what, that's one fo the many things I did at camp. Daniel said it and he meant it - he was on a down of downs. He continually ranted about how hypocritical he was and how much he lies and whatnot. I ended up spending about an hour a day trying to make sure he didn't go kill himself or something. Finally he told me, "There's nothing that you can do for me that I can't do for myself." He was bordering on tears, so I sat down next to him and took his hand and sat there for awhile. I asked him how he felt and he said he felt better... then I left him alone and was creeped out with myself for a bit, but then I realized I had done a good turn.

As for my skit, on the second to last night of camp, we had to perform a skit for the camp, so I went with a classic: If I Weren't A Boy Scout. It starts off, "Gee, If I weren't a Boy Scout, there's nothing I'd rather be, but if I weren't a Boy Scout, (a) ______ I would be. The blank is for whatever profession or person you'd like to make fun of. We had way too many parts to name all of them, but here are a few: Electrician, EMT, John Ferrel (he was a counselor), a masochist, a hippie, and, my favorite (because I made up the lines), Rush Limbaugh. I let the new scouts go first so they could have some fun with the skit, since I knew it would get canned after I said my line, and they did enjoy it... and I got us kicked off the stage. I got a few death threats the next day, which was rather fun, but having the entire adult population of the camp scowling at me was the best part.

So now you know how I ammuse myself at camp... for the most part. I like yelling random things out at strange intervals also. "Yeehaw!", "I love you too!", and "What the crap?" were a few of my favorites. But, yeah... I'm a scary guy at camp. I get a little too aloof if you ask me.

Later, DS
~ All my fear is unfounded, all my doubt is wrong.

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..:Leave A Message After The Sigh:..
Saturday 7.3.04 2:50 am

It really pisses me off that Comcast is such a poor ISP. For all of you who don't have it, don't get it. They accidentally kill your internet for not reason aat least once monthly and, unfortunately for me, today is that day for me. I'm sitting here typing a fricken entry in notepad...

Well, I'll be of to camp pretty soon and I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do there... Well, I can say I'll be reading, but that's all I know. I'm supposed to choose what I want to do, but I've been to the place six times over the years and I really don't feel like repeating something, so my choices are obviously few and far between. I wish my family didn't insist on making me go... I would happily stay at home where I'd have the possiblity of interacting with friends... possibly going on a date... but no, they have to ship me off every year.

While I'm away, it would be greatly appreciated if you could take the time to entertain me by sending me interesting messages and leaving intriguing voicemails so I can stay sane. Since I know the very few people who actually read this, I feel safe in allowing you to do whatever you wish... hell, say something even if it isn't very funny at all.

I recently came upon a quote that interested me. It read, "We become what we think about." I realized that applied to many things I think about, but, by no means, all of them. For instance, take my thinking about someone. If thinking about her would make me become her, I'd have been her a long time ago. While that would be exceedingly cool (for reasons I'd rather not disclose) I'd doubt it would ever happen.

I'm sorry, I promised an intelligent entry, but I've produced utter crap. At least I'm not any different than usual that way.

Later, DS
~ I... AM... ELECTRIC...
No? Would you believe I am gas-burning?

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..:The None-Too-Intelligent Boyfriend:..
Monday 6.28.04 10:34 pm

For all the incredibly slow people out there, I didn't update after the movies yesterday. I left at about 7:45 and Casey and I got to the theatre around eight. We sat there for nearly an hour doing nothing because, if you didn't know already, the Hyatt sucks. They have no games or... well, anything for that matter - except a snackbar. Anyway, Fahrenheit 9/11 was scheduled to start at 9:15 or something, but they pushed it back to 9:45 because they were "waiting for everyone to arrive". After some poking around and getting yelled at, the manager told me that they screwed up the reels and they were resplicing it. We went back into the theatre and Casey saw some friends of hers, so I got dragged over to talk. The two friends she took me over to were obviously a couple and when the guy said, "Looks like you're doing well, Casey." I shot her a questioning look, but she ignored it and told me to talk to the guy while she chatted with her other friend. He ended up telling me his name was John early on and I considered that for a moment and said that John is my dad's name and that he reminded me a lot of him. He got a little pissed and asked if I was calling him old. I took it as an opportunity to test his intelligence since he didn't really strike me as anyone that could be classified anything short of an idiot. I said, "No, of course not." He asked what I meant and, in turn, I explained that my dad was only thirty-two and still in really good shape. He looked a little confused for a minute, then he looked at the ceiling and counted on his fingers for a bit. Then his eyes shifted back to me and he asked, "What do you take me for? Your dad can't be thirty-two." He cracked his knuckles and I hesitated. I thought I had been found out, but I got an idea. I said, "Dude, your math sucks... Did you fail the class or something?" He got a thoughtful look on his face and seemed to be pondering something for all of ten seconds then said, "Yeah, you're right. My math does suck. And thanks for comparing me to your dad... I guess." (Well, that's not an exact quote, but he said something to the effect of his math being wrong and that he got a D in algebra.) After that, we got rather quiet and he occasionally looked at me through the corner of his eye and grumbled about the employee's being dumbasses. By the time Casey and Kendra, John's girlfriend, came back, I had decided to take Kendra for a private chat. I asked her if she knew John was an idiot and she casually said yes and explained that she wasn't really interested in him and that she felt alone if she didn't have a boyfriend. I accidently blurted out, "You know, I think you two are perfect for eachother." Then I got one of the hardest slaps I can remember. I couldn't help but smile is she stomped away, though. (If you didn't get the logic behind my saying they were good for eachother, she's as much of an idiot as he is if she can't stand not being in a relationship... or at least that's my take on it.)

Well, eventually the movie started, and eventually it ended. By the time we were out of the theatre it was 12:30 and we were rather hungry so we walked down to Safeway and pigged out on their subs. It was around two when we called her mom to come pick us up.

As for my opinion on the movie... It was okay, but I thought Mr. Moore got a little too anti-Bush. I mean, I think he's an idiot sometimes and I'm not too thrilled with him being president and trying to repeal all of our environmental protection acts, but I wouldn't go as far as to say half of the things Moore did. I don't think I could have stood reading the anti-Bush book he wrote that didn't make it to the public... That movie was quite enough.

Later, DS
~ You can't teach an old dog new tricks, and a cloned dog won't remember the old dog's tricks.

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