God... I wasted a good two days worrying myself, culminating in my crying in fifth period today, over something that I had just assumed that I recently found out wasn't even true...

So, yeah. I got jammed into PALs by Rich because he thinks I can go places if I actually work instead of slacking off. It's weird how that works. I know I didn't make the times for anything - my season should be over. I bet he made something up and switched a few numbers around in my times so I could run in PALs... Too bad I don't want to.

Life has been really hectic lately. I've been too worried about things to do my homework and that's not going to come over well with my mom. My grades slipped into the pits of hell again and I don't think they're coming back by the end of this semester.

I think I have a page of Cerulean Dust written in comupter terms, but since I'm only going to type it when I finish a chapter, I'm not certain. It was really descriptive earlier, but as soon as I heard that I was wrong about that assumption I was talking about earlier, I sort of lost the creative flare that I had going. I suppose that's good, though, since now I can write about something happy.

Later, DS
~ When a lion escapes from an African circus, how do they know when they catch the right one?

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I think the title should really be Mir ist angst und bange... worried sick won't cut it - it's that bad...

I'm really, really distressed and depressed at the moment... Basically, I said something to someone I know I shouldn't have and I think it sort of screwed any sort of friendship over... Which isn't good for a few reasons I'd rather not discuss. I should really consider lying to her more often, it might have saved her opinion of me yesterday...

Cerulean Dust should come along nicely for a few days. I've been planning to model it on my life in a semi-skewed way, though I won't go into detail about it. Let's just say the sad situation lends itself to a handy plot twist.

I think I'll just go do my homework... this is getting to be too much for me. And after that... Well, don't be surprised if I walk into school looking a little beat up.

Later, DS
~ *The title says it all*

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Life has been a lot more confusing these days. I realized that I can't have a social life and get good grades and I'm not exactly sure how to go about working around it... I also realized that I'm sort of... demanding of people when I want them to make a decision of something... and that I tend to hold on to the idea I had before I asked for a long time afterward anyway. I guess that last part pertains more to relationships, though not all of the time.

I just thought of a really long-winded explanation of how I define a relationship, but I really don't think it'd be worth typing...

Oh yeah. There was a track meet today. I... didn't do very well by my standards. Coming in first doesn't really matter to me if I know I can do better, I guess. I mean, I got 17' 2 1/2" in long jump, which won, but it didn't feel like any sort of accomplishment. Same with the 200 dash.

Later, DS
~ A kick in the groin doesn't usually make for good relations.

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Track meet tomorrow during school. Lucky me... I get to run in the heat in short-shorts. I'm running the 200 and 4x400 and jumping Long and High. Hope I don't die...

We did our book presentations in English today and and Mrs. Harper actually graded them... We... didn't do so well. She said ours was "thrown together", although it convinced her to read The Da Vinci Code. After she lectured me on the presentation, I got lectured on how she was worried my essay would bomb my grade, etcetera, etcetera... Sometimes I wish she would just shut up and let me fail... well, usually.

Hilda, you'd better like the drawing. It took me quite a bit of time to do... Time that I could have spent doing my homework.

I think I'll go write more of Cerulean Dust, that is, after I finish my homework.

Later, DS
~ Did you know that today is Anzac Day?

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Another day of boredom... *sigh* I really wish I had something interesting to do. I ended up completely demolishing Word 97 which was what I was trying to do, but it was pretty stupid since I don't have the office install disk anymore.

I finally got around to starting my story this morning, at 12:37 to be exact. I worked for a little over two hours in my little black notebook and typed it when I woke up this afternoon. It ended up translating to be a little over half a page which, for me, isn't half bad for two hours of work. If you want to read it, be my guest, but I can't say that it's very interesting yet. Cerulean Dust

I don't want to do my homework... Maybe if I had done it sooner I could've done something interesting. What that might be, I have no idea. Time is moving at lightspeed now, unlike the past fifty-three hours of my weekend. I think I'll forget about Bio... I don't really need to do any work in that class for a long time with my grade.

Later, DS
~ Recreational drug + suppository = one hell of a bad idea.

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I didn't do much of anything today... Just a bit of reading, a bit of talking, a little eating and drinking, and a whole lot of sleeping. I really feel like writing something, but I can never think of what to write about, so I stop.

I had something interesting that I was going to say, but I forgot what it was...

I really wish I was a more courageous person, even if it made me seem considerably less intelligent than I do now. I want to be able to say things to people and be able to ask them things too... I can never find the courage I need to talk about things, but only with some people... Go figure.

Later, DS
~ You can't win them all, but you can lose them all.

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