there are few things that I know for certain...this is it

1.) That something was seriously wrong with my body
2.) That my Doctor was a total dickwad only interested in my money
3.) That I think it best to worry too much so that when I get somewhat good news (or at least easily fixable news) I'll be very relieved and happy!


So I'm not dying and I have no serious illnesses or anything like that.

I've just been poisoned everyday for about a year.....

No biggie!

This new guy that I went to told me that the medicine my doctor put me on has a habit doing the exact opposite of what I was told it does. Instead of decreasing something that was already happening frequently...its been known to significantly increase it.
So if it was already increased above normal before taking this new medicine....you can imagine how it managed to increase times three after taking the stuff that was SUPPOSE to help decrease it!

Sorry if that's confusing.
The new doctor says he feels sorry for me because I went so long with these issues. Its partly my fault but my old doctor also kept insisting that I "give it time." Ugh.

Now I have to see if my insurance company will cover the new prescription I'm on.

I can't say I feel too foolish for over thinking my situation though. Its my defense mechanism. I don't want to be shocked and extremely taken aback by something. I'd much rather worry too much and be wrong!!! ahhhhh its so relieving!!!

It was one of the roughest examinations I've ever had, though!....My new doctor doesn't really have the softest touch but at least he knows what the crap he's talking about!

Yay for me!

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I'm glad I don't need my boss for anything!
I mean, he knows I need his help with something. I had a customer on hold. I had to Ask Tim (my boss) a question to figure out what material I should quote the customer. Tim told me to hold on and that he'd help me in a second. so I waited until he got done talking to this other sales guy. it took forever. So I picked up the line and told the customer that I had to call him back. and then my boss gets done talking to our co-worker and goes back to his desk. I say "Okay, Tim...?" to get his attention so that I can finally ask my question but he starts rambling to me about something that he's frustrated with in regards to our other sales guy and before I could ask him my question he's picking up the phone and calling someone.
...wtf....
I am glad it wasn't extremely important!!!!

But it kind of is.....its not good to keep the customer waiting!

UGh!!!

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So I've had a horrible week!!! I am so glad its Friday!!! Work has been absolute hell!

Meanwhile....I'm getting more paranoid about my doctors appointment. I just have to keep telling myself *its all in my head. Its all in my head.* My mom says I'm a hypochondriac. I disagree. They believe they are sick when, in reality, nothing is wrong. I AM sick when I call my doctor and when I go to my appointment, I've always got some strange ass health issue going on. Nothing overly embarrassing. (but really?!?!? Who else gets Mono and Lymes disease at the exact same time????).

Anyway, I'm getting more and more bummed out. I'm expecting the worst so that when I see my doctor and find out the real dealio....it might not be so bad. haha. So I keep telling myself I have some serious deadly illness or that I'll find out that I wont be able to have kids and stuff because when I find out that its something very treatable.....I'll be happy and relieved that it wasn't as bad as I thought.

....Does that make me a hypochondriac???

*shrug*

On a lighter note I finally figured out exactly what I want to do for my birthday!!! ^_^
Scott and I are going Canoeing!!!!!!!! There's this place in West Virginia called Harpers Ferry.....and right above that is the Shenandoah River. You can rent Canoes for about 60 bucks and its a 7 mile stretch that takes a few hours to row!!!

The only thing I'm worried about is Scott's shoulders. I know for a fact that he's going to need to take lots of breaks and stuff and I don't want him to hurt himself. But I've gone canoeing tones of times! I'm practically a master! haha. jk. But really, I'll be able to row for the both of us as much as he wants. ^_^ I'm so excited! I LOVEEEEE Canoeing!!!

I'm glad my work day is slow today. I know I was complaining before about it being real slow before but the last two days have been so crazy! this little break is welcome!

well....I'm off to go and mentally relax.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having an awful day!!!!!!!!

armsd;ghia bfro;adgrio;ahDKL

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I'm completely caught up at work again and I'm not even halfway through the day.
so I'm going to try to look busy until lunch. I've actually asked someone if they need any help and so far no one does so here I am....again....stalling before I have to start making cold calls. =/

So Scott and I went out yesterday and got season 4 of Dexter as like an early birthday present for me!!! This is the only season I have yet to see and so far it is AMAZING!!! Oh Dexter, how I've missed you!!!!

Going back to the birthday thing...I turn 21 in less than two weeks!!!
I can't say I'm super excited. I don't have anything big planned. When I go out with my family we'll probably go out to some place that will serve breakfast or something for my dad because he's got stitches in his mouth still and no teeth. If we go to Pizza Hut I could at the very least order my first beer and my dad can get a pasta dish....

My doctors appointment is next Monday...I'm pretty nervous about it. What if I get some seriously bad news? ....right before my birthday.....that would suck. I really don't know what to expect from this appointment. I don't know if I'll have to get tons of tests done or what. I keep telling myself its nothing to worry about but unlike every other time I've gone to the doctor for stupid illnesses I've gotten over the years....this is the first time I feel like I'm lying to myself when I try to say its nothing serious. =/

oh well. I'm done worrying about it for the day.
Its lunch time!!!!!!! I've been on again off again writing this....

but off I go!

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Work is SOOOOOOOO slow!
I don't know if its this slow because I'm actually taking care of the work as soon as it gets on my desk or if its because business is actually not doing very well....
Either way....I hate this.

I COULD ask other people if they want me to enter anything in for them to give myself something to do but why should I do their work for them? they never ask me if I need help and I certainly never give them any of my work unless I absolutely need their assistance and even then, I've already done most of the work I just ask them to double check it. Mike's mom (my ex-boyfriend's mom who is like one of my bosses) helps more than anyone else. but its never by doing my job. Its by showing me how to do something in the computer or something. Besides, at the pay rate I'm at.....why even bother? I'm certainly not going to bust my ass anymore than I have to when there isn't a pay raise in sight and I'm on the verge of needing a second job.


I'm actually toying with the idea of getting a new job. a new full time job. I know some places that are opening up job positions and stuff and I could get another sales job. Working with a UNION. I hear their benefits are awesome! AND I'd probably be getting paid a lot more. I plan on applying in September. Its so sad....I could be getting paid MORE as a cashier. a freaking cashier!!! Less work, less stress, and more money?!?!?! HELL YEAH!!!

Sure the job I have now will potentially offer me better opportunities WAY in the future but seriously....I'd have to get a degree to expect that and I can't afford school with the money I'm getting paid. not even community college. Its sad because when all is said and done I really like my job and I find it interesting.... but its getting to the point where that is no longer enough. I can't LIVE off of this job. I can't even support myself with this pay. not even slightly. What is going to happen when I decide to start a family??? I wont be able to afford it! I can't just be like "so now that I'm starting a family, I guess you'll start paying me more"

When I was moved to plastic sales I took the place of someone who has been in the business for at least 20 years. He got paid MUCH more than I did and all I get was a $10 an hour pay rate. and I know I'm not the greatest sales person out there but I'm doing pretty damn good for only being in it for a year. I also know that everyone in the company is dealing with pay cuts right now but I'd LOVE to see them try to live off of my salary. I don't think any other full time person gets paid as little as me. Hell I Know for a fact that PART TIME people are getting paid a lot more than me!

I call bull shit.

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