Hi everyone! I haven't been on here in forever! Work has been crazy busy for a while now because I started learning about drafting for a Water-Jet (a machine that cuts metals and plastics using water and garnet). Its pretty cool! I'm enjoying drawing and nesting things.

My best friend gets married in two weeks! I'm very excited for her even though two days after she's married, she'll be moving to the other side of the country! =/
Last weekend my friends Keith and Meghan got married and in a few more weeks Thethaitanic's Brother gets married!

Lots of weddings this year, all around!
Needless to say, I've caught the wedding fever. lol. I've planned out my wedding 5-6 times in the last few months but I'm sure that once these last two weddings come and go, my wedding fever will finally break and I can leave it alone until I actually really HAVE a wedding to plan. *sigh* one day.....


I'm still very poor so nothing has changed there.

But despite our financial struggles I am genuinely happy. =)

I got into a serious car accident about 2 months ago and totaled my car. I wasn't hurt too badly. Just my neck. It has good days and bad days. Mostly good days, it only really bothers me when I use larger pillows and such. So having totaled that car, I got a new car! A 2007 PT Cruiser! I love it! Car payments suck, though. =/


My nephew Mason is talking and walking! too cute! He's a monster!


Andddd.....That's about it! haha.

Right now this guy is on the phone looking for a quote and he's just going on and onnn and onnnnn.

I'm probably going to go now!

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I discovered that I only have one pair of jeans that fit that do not have a hole in them. All of my other pants are too tight and/or have holes in them. I can't afford to go buy new pants because I don't have the funds.

I started working at this place part time as a food server and I worked last weekend and I work this weekend but its only one day a week and that money is going right to helping with the bills and stuff. and I started taking on more responsibilities at my full time job which gives me a little extra money but I also just learned that my birth control that I WAS getting free samples of to test it out (I was having problems with my monthly lady things) is now going to start costing me $70 a month!!!! So basically all of this extra money I have coming in is going to go unnoticed. =/

I hate this constant struggle with money. Even when I was a kid, my family struggled. I hate being at work because people are bitching that they are poor. They have boats and houses and nice cars and go on vacations and THEY are complaining??? I'm sure they want more money (Who doesn't?) but don't think you'll be getting any sympathy from me when I have to scramble money together for food and gas and can't afford to see my dentist or doctors and have a car that is slowly but surely falling apart.

Speaking of cars....Scott gets a car (FINALLY) next week! I'm excited for him and he is SO happy. =)

Things with Scott and me are fabulous though I think currently I'm too stressed and moody for my own good. I'm surprised he hasn't snapped at me yet. I've been a real snippity bitch recently. lol. It all still seems too good to be true with him. We just click. Its so easy. We bicker from time to time but even when I get mad at him the feeling is gone almost instantly. Its been almost a year and even though this year has been very stressful it is so refreshing to know that your relationship isn't one of the leading causes of the stress. I just need to keep telling myself that although times are rough and money is tight and moral is down Scott is still here and he's the most important thing in my life. =)

Sorry to make this sappy but at least I ended this depressing entry on a happy note!

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So for those of you that knew or read up on it, I had a fish tank at work that originally started with 4 fish and slowly the bigger fish killed all the smaller fish leaving the bigger fish on his own (he preferred it that way). His name was Zelux and he actually died over the weekend leaving me with an lifeless, smelly tank.


As an update on losing 20 lbs, I haven't noticed a change yet. I don't own a scale so really I have no idea if I lost any weight at all. I'm hoping so. I can't wait until Scott gets a car because then I'll start going to the gym right after work!!! I've been bringing lunch to work much more often and eating oatmeal or cereal for breakfast every day. Instilling healthier eating habits....step one.

So they are calling for snow in Maryland and its not suppose to start until about 4 but they are letting schools out all around here 2 hours early. Ugh. Those lucky bastards.

Hunger and exhaustion is getting the better of me so I'm going to bounce.

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So I'm not in a good mood. I'm actually very grumpy. It was originally just because I hate my body in every way shape and form and I'm so disappointed in myself for letting it go. It just sneaks up on you and then you have to work so hard to get back to the way you were before. I can't believe I thought I was fat in High School. I'd KILL to weigh so little again.


And then Scott and I got into a stupid .....I wouldn't even call it a fight. But we both pissed each other off about the stupid litter box for the damn cats. I could continue to bicker with him about it or I can just say whatever and have it be done with. I'd like to think that I don't avoid confrontation but I avoid pointless arguments and this was just stupid all around. But it still put me in a bad mood.


And work is so dead all this week!! I get a few things and then nothing for hours. What a waste of time.

I need to go back to bed and restart this day in a better mood.

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Happy New year one and all!!!!

I ended up laying on a couch all new years eve. I got a nasty stomach thing and couldn't do much of anything except make multiple trips to the bathroom =( Scott got sick too but I was much worse off. On the bright side, its kind of a good way to start off the new year with my dieting and such. Since I didn't eat much this weekend, my appetite is slightly off track. Now I can cut back and it wont be as noticeable because for the last few days I wasn't eating much to begin with.

So the Kinect is AWESOME!! Scott and I bought this game called Your Shape and it comes with like a personal trainer and things. My legs are so sore from that!!! It makes me happy. This thing is going to give me a workout!


I've currently been on hold with Comcast for 15 minutes. They're charging me for some paper view thing we never watched. Listening to the music while I'm on hold is making me soooooo drowsy. I haven't been getting the best sleep recently but the cats are surprisingly not the cause! Anyway, I'm thinking about hanging up and drifting off a bit until my lunch break is over and I'll just call again while I work.
Yeahhhh....I think I'll do that.

So I'm off!!

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Its crazy how much things change in one year.
Looking at where I was this time last year and where i am right now.... its mind blowing!

I went from feeling unhappy, depressed and confused....in a relationship spiraling out of control, losing "friends" for ridiculous reasons and once again, just an all around horrible person (their opinions, not mine). I lived at my parents house, I was a slob, I was very irresponsible with my money and just my life in general.

....and now everything is different! I'm in an amazing relationship(!) I live in an apartment and I'm much more responsible with my money/taking care of myself. I am no longer a slob. I have the sweetest cats ever, two new nephews that are such butterballs and so sweet! I love them so much! I argue less with my family and although there are definitely some stressful things that Scott and I have had to deal with this year, I still think that this is the greatest year ever!!!!


Not saying that previous years didn't have there great parts. They definitely did but deep down I knew that I wasn't genuinely happy and that the moments that made me very happy were only temporary. Its kind of bittersweet thinking about the past. I'm definitely very thankful for it and while I'm not proud of how I've behaved in the past its made me grow so much as a person that I can't even imagine where I'd be if things were even the slightest bit different.


Anyway, I'm excited to see what the new year will bring! So many people I know are getting married in 2011! And I know this is very cliche but I am going to lose weight in the new year!!! 20 lbs!!! (I'll settle for 15) so I might be doing kind of like an update thing on here and maybe you guys can keep me motivated. Yesterday I was bad with the amount of food I ate but the key to my weight loss is exercising! I need to go back to the Gym and Scott got a Kinect (SO AWESOME) for Christmas so If I just start moving my fat butt around I should see results!!! Also I'm a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding and I'd like to be skinny again for that. I feel like I'm more motivated now than ever! I'm a size 12 and I want to drop down two sizes! I HATE the way I look and its not because my boyfriend calls me fat two-three times a day (something that happened in previous years) its because I feel that way. I hate the way I look and I want to change!!



anyway....All this talk about dieting is making me hungry! haha. I'll go have my "weight Control" oatmeal now! =p

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