I don't know if I've mentioned this before but when I was in middle school my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. He's still kickin' and has been cancer free for nearly ten years but the radiation gave him some complications to deal with once the cancer was gone. Basically just three things....
1.) He lost all working glands that produce saliva in his mouth.
2.)Nerve damage in his neck and upper spine
3.) The radiation caused his teeth to rot out and he had to have most of them removed.

So they removed all but 6 teeth maybe 8 years ago and gave him this weird dental contraption to hold the dentures in.
But yesterday he had to get the remaining 6 teeth removed.
He seems to be doing MUCH better than what he was the first time he had his teeth removed. I'm so thankful for that! He was in so much pain last time around.

Anyway, for those of you that pray just keep him in mind because they don't know what they're going to do denture wise for him this time around. Its complicated because of the radiation he had.


Anyway...
My best friend got engaged and they picked out a venue for the wedding....at a very reasonable price of $11,000!!!!! Holy shit!!!! That's SOOOOOO much money just on the location alone!!!
Crazy!!
She was saying to me "The average wedding cost about 20-25 thousand dollars"
o.O
What the crap?!
That money could be going to so many other things!!!!
Me, personally, I'll rent a simple hall get married in my church and use that money on a down payment on a house/my honeymoon and call it a day!

My mother said that for her wedding, her aunts and sisters made all the food themselves. Now I don't think I'd go that far....but should you really spend that much money on a wedding?
I guess to each his own.
or her own.....or is it to each ITS own...?

*shrug*

Anyway, I think I'm going to go try and look busy at work some more....its been so slow for the last week and a half! =(

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Its amazing how just getting a decent nights sleep can help so much with a persons mood. I finally slept for more than three hours!!! ahhhhhhhhh! I felt so miserable yesterday, I don't think I'd have come into work on time if I was feeling that same way again today. I would have opted to sleep for a bit longer and just say my car wouldn't start or something. But no need!

Don't get me wrong, I'm still tired! But I can handle THIS kind of tired. those extra 2 or 3 hours made a huge impact! But uh....I cheated a little....Right before bed I took an oxicotton. o.O I feel like a druggie because I'm already looking forward to tonight where I want to take another one and get a second night of good sleep. But I'm not gonna. Nope. That's how people get addicted to those things. I only took it because I was so incredibly exhausted last night that my mind was too concentrated on sleeping to actually fall asleep. Tonight I'm going to get a good nights sleep the normal way. (hopefully)


Work has been slow alllll week. Today is going to drag on and on and on and on and on....
UGh.

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Note to self: When something about your health seems amiss do NOT Google search to try and diagnose yourself. I'm super paranoid, now. The good news is....I set up a Doctors appointment-finally-for issues mentioned in a previous blog. And I've only gotta wait 2-1/2 more weeks.

...I think the sales lady next to me was laughing so hard that she let out a fart. lol.

...Most days as of late, I've been feeling kind of down. I'm tired of there always being a health issue with me. And I think I'm gaining weight again. Something's gotta give. I need a confidence boost. BAD! I feel like my self hatred is coming back. just in a different way...and its effecting my day to day mood. I find myself being grouchy. And more times than not, I get upset with myself every time I look in the mirror. I'm fat. I've got huge dark circles under my eyes. Acne. stupid hair. stupid organs that don't work.
I can't find a single thing that I like.

I need a day of pampering and recovery.

And I need to stop snacking and exercise a little more.
I hate feeling this way. =[

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I went to the drive-in movie theater on Saturday night and whilst there I was bitten by a bug. Normally this wouldn't concern me except that it started out looking to be about the size of a dime (a standard mosquito bite) and now it looks like its about the size of a silver dollar. o.O

I've never had a bug bite spread like that. I'm not known to be allergic to spiders or anything. This is very odd indeed.

and I got so drowsy at the drive in, I slept through every single move we stayed for. =( Lame. Maybe it was because of the bite? ......Who knows.

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So Gus went to the vet yesterday and he has an upper respiratory infection. We got some antibiotics and he seems to be doing better already. That visit cost us 70 bucks and I have to take him back next week for a follow up. =/
But at least he's doing okay. =)

Switching gears a bit, I've been feeling pretty down, lately. Just stressing about a few things here and there. Money and health, mostly. It wouldn't be an issue if we didn't have so many things to take care of that we didn't plan on taking care of like Scotts car, his wisdom teeth, at some point MY wisdom teeth, the kitten, and I really need to go to the doctor. For someone like me who BARELY has money to throw around...its getting really tough to not feel very overwhelmed.

The fact that I haven't been sleeping hasn't helped.

The fact that I had my period three separate times in the month of July alone hasn't helped.

The fact that even after those three periods in July I'm on my period yet again and its only the 3rd of August clearly does not help.

The fact that this has been a normal thing since I started birth control REALLY hasn't helped. (which I got on to regulate my period in the first place)

If I could cut out my own uterus without potentially killing myself in the process, I'd seriously consider it.

If I had to pin point one thing that is stressing me out the most it would be that.

A year has gone by. A full year. A full year of getting my period two-three times a month. Severe cramps like I've never experienced before. Breasts so sore and tender I can't even wear a bra sometimes. Not to mention the difficulty I've been having keeping my mood in check. I've switched my prescription twice and spent abouuuut.....$200 in co-pays just to sit in my doctors office and blow money on a jerk-off who wastes my time. and that's not including the HUNDREDS of dollars I spent on the actual birth control!

Sure, switching to a new doctor sounds easy peasy but I still have a $40 co-pay to deal with, PLUS if they want to do any kind of extra testing and shit.
UGH.

I've been trying to hold back on this rant. I know you guys don't want to hear about it. but I need to vent somehow. I HAVE to.

Oh how satisfying it would be to walk into my Gyno's office and give him a swift kick to his balls. Or a smack to his face. Or a baseball bat to his head. It would be great!

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So here are some pictures (finally) of our new kitty, Gus.



Lets see if that worked. (I still haven't mastered this)

Edit:
well, it looks like I have so here are some more pictures






he's a little cutie but he's really sick right now. =(
I take him to the vet tomorrow. We're really worried about him.
He just started sneezing but then it became constant and now he's wheezing. =(
He's also got snot coming out if his little nose and his eyes are constantly watering.
we feel so bad for him. we don't know what we can do to help him until we take him to the vet. he wants to walk on my keyboard right now. hold on....

,km6yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyymmmmmmmmmlllllllllllllll

haha. he's so adorable.

updates on his vet visit will undoubtedly ensue.

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