So I guess we're not going to Huntington tomorrow anymore. Normally, i would drive. But im just SO sick of driving. I'm starting to hate driving with a passion. I'm already driving to IRvine next weekend anyway.. HOPING hoping I get that weekend off. ANd i guess no LUMPIA premier for me either cuz im working. THat wasnt a big deal tho.. and everyone can still go without me.. =( ..if you want.. but maybe we can do something after i get off work, like 8:30ish.. HOPEFULy >> Friday nights are always busy tho.. dammnit

ANyways, Im uber excited about our apartment next year.. yay!!

I cant believe its been almost one year since graduation. I miss our after-school-before-practice trips to nowhere, and stuffing our faces then not being able to run. I miss my rountine of getting home at 6pm, eating, napping till 11pm, waking up to do homework/watch tv/go online, eat again, and back to sleep at 2am. I remember always doing hilburn homework right before class with jannette. I MISS THAT!!! sigh.. times flies

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come and get me

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why is it that every guy i like is taken? even if they werent would I even have a chance? and when I do get that chance.. do I even want them anymore? Is there something wrong with me?

It all goes back to my first real bf, the one I got kicked out of my aunt's house for. The one I regret, THE regret of my life. I sometimes wish I had never met him, and if I hadn't met him would I still be the same person I am today. No, I would be in Florida probably going to UNF or FSU and I wouldn't be here, and I probably wouldnt even be writing this. Most importantly I wouldn't learn what it took me three years to realize.

everytime I even think about anything that reminds me of him I get this destructive feeling. I wish there was something I could do to pacify these thoughts that constantly tear me apart.

I writing this in hopes that it will take away the memories. I wish I could throw them into into a fire, or go back in time, knowing what I know now, but then.

Im not even making sense anymore.

I have to prepare something for this presentation thing im doing in my survey of eng. lit. class..

but

ALL I WANT TO THINK ABOUT is spring break. beaches. and those oh-so-happy days when my soul would melt into nothing but peace and happiness . <3

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its monday night and im kinda excited about school tomorrow, this is a first.

Last night was soo horrible. I got sick sat. night but went to work (without a voice) anyway. So at work it was slow, no one was coming in AND there was another host there but my stupid new boss wouldn't let me go cuz "the resturant wasnt clean" wth! it was SOO clean. We spent the whole time picking up trash in and outside and cleaning all the windows. I got home and got all distressed over it. I didnt even fall asleep till 3 cuz i couldn't breath. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa.

Enough complaining. I feel MUCH better now. I'm still sick but I can do things.

On Saturday, before work, me and Jaby were drinking jamba juice and I started eating the foam cup. She called me an animal. heheh

no matter what i do/all i think about is you/even when im with my boo/you know im crazy over you

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I love the cold and rainy seasons.. but it lacks something that only summer can guarantee... endless visits to the beach.




(jaby is in that underground prison I made)

[photo credits : cindy tolentino]

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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