i just have to let out all this angst i feel inside.

isn't funny how just the littlest thing can ruin a whole entire day of happiness?

i give my best, but its never EVER GOOD ENOUGH!!!

[to the person who hates me] if you're intention is to make me feel like shit, then congratulations - you've done it. i dont know what more you want from me, i apologized, but you can't let it go, not until you brought me down. why dont you just get over yourself.

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im in the middle of a double, just posting because i happen to be in front of my computer!

life's goin great, cant complain

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theres just so many things to be happy about
the formerly cancelled lake tahoe trip is back on
going home wednesday for thanksgiving
got someone to cover my shift on friday
nice long weekend ahead/seeing friends
finding out i dont start school till the 31st of january
my flight to hawai'i is booked
christmas season has begun

im a happy camper

kara(mel) is here this week. well not really week, just two days. I tried my best to control myself, but I just couldn't help singing the "hig hag" song aloud opera-style in front of her. im not even conscious of doing it anymore. twas fun. went to island's today, and to utc. oh and watched ELF, its one of my new favorite movies. im sad they're leaving tomorrow.

got a new job offer today. its this guy that is an inventor, they want to put their item on the market and since my boss was "raving" about me, they want me to come work for them to. But I cant, no possible way, I'm referring them to my roomie. oh i also did corporate minutes today, what a learning experience.

someone i admire: is charice. she has such a big heart. she wants to be part of doctors without borders and cares so much for the war-ravaged middle east.she is one of the few people i know that work so hard in school, but not because she wants to be rich, but so that she can better help others. I'm giving her a big hug next time i see her.

song of the week:
everlong
favorite moment of the week:
eating lasagna with my mom at 1am
favorite day of the week:
it's a tie between tonight and saturday night
protagonist of the week:
den - for taking my friday shift so i can spend an extra two days at home, hmm theres nothing i miss more right now than driving down ventura/oxnard in that oxnard fog
antagonist of the week
waking up early
best meal of the week:
fish fillet at anthony's
something to be happy about:
take your pick ^
something to pray for:
the Middle East

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I'm excited. I booked my flight to tahoe !
yay! heres my schedule:

Wed 1-Dec-04
Los Angeles (LAX) Depart 6:33 pm
Reno (RNO) Arrive 7:54 pm

Mon 6-Dec-04
Reno (RNO) Depart 4:00 pm
Los Angeles (LAX) Arrive 5:16 pm

cool, now anyone can stalk me.

ok time to clean the room

song of the week:
norweigan wood -the beatles "this bird has flown"
favorite moment of the week:
mos def when the two silverfishes migrated from my side of the room to roomie's side. yesss!!!!
favorite day of the week:
today - Monday 11/15
protagonist of the week:
expedia ...dot com!!
antagonist of the week
myself, my lies, my procrastination - - - - i let it consume me - - - -
best meal of the week:
homemade apritada/mechado
something to be happy about:
lake tahoe, baby! traveling always me giddy
something to pray for:
[me] i need to quit lying, seriously - i lied about being sick to get off work; ect. ect. i feel horrible. NO MORE LYING!!!!!

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I think im not biologically cut out to go to school. Today in class I was really dizzy and pretty much felt like I was going to pass out. This isnt the first time its happened. It happens about 75% of the time im in class. Whenever I get out of class I feel genuinely sick and just unhappy.

I took a two hour nap after my three hour class today to make the bad vibes go away.

I also hate that I keep whining a lot. grrr

this morning roomie was on the phone in the morning and i was half asleep, i heard her say "youre in trouble" and I was dreaming, so i thought someone in my dream was telling me I was in trouble and i kept asking outloud, 'am i in trouble? am i in trouble?' and it was weird because it made sense in my head. roomie had to tell me i wasnt, hahah, ok thats it.

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song of the week:
Only One-Yellowcard
favorite moment of the week:
When one of my co-workers told me she went to my old resturant in vta and the manager told her I was a really good worker and that they say HI.
favorite day of the week:
Sunday - 11/7
protagonist of the week:
the elliptical
antagonist of the week
the corporation that is cpk.
best meal of the week:
chicken enchilada soup. yummm
something to be happy about:
skimboards
something to pray for:
Fallujah

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