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listening to Elvis Presley's renditon of "the first noel" and he has some really strong back up singers. It's all very errie.

I had a really fucked up, Neo Evangalian themed dream.

Now Dean Martin is playing whith his chirstmas contribution, Silent night, for those who wish to know....

anyhow, The dream was pretty messed up, but it wasn't as messed up as the series itself. It started okay because it was devoid of Shinji, and there fore, it lacked terrible psychotic tendancies. However like the series it started out kind of normal... I was in a mecha saving the world... then somehow it went into a kind of celebration feast during which a charecter makes this embaressing confessional to me... and I ignore her. It gets fuzzy but at dreams, end I get sent off to jail. There is more but I think it's to odd or hard to recall to post here. On balance it was a very disapointing dream.

I was never a really lucid dreamer... I can never control what happens. I'm sure there are a few times when I am lucid enough but often a nightmare will stay a nightmare until I wake. And i have had nightmares to make the dream I just talked about look as a candel to an automic bomb, make no mistake. I was just sharing.

But what is interesting is that I haven't seen the show in months. ... but i guese that is imprinting for you.. since I started watching it about six years ago or so.

(something more interesting) I was thinking about the Americans in England for chirstmas of 1944. ... well they were here for war, but the Americans did things because they liked giving and th ey liked children. They would have orphan parties; Especially around Thanksgiving, and Christmas. They would adopt a child for the day and give them presents and food... one of them woud dress up like Santa clause, it was so wonderfull for the tiny war orphans. TO hear them speak of it now , of their tall wonderful benifactors you can hear love in their voices.

The Americans didn't want to be loved, they just wanted to give. There was about 2 million of them, it became a little America in England and almost all of th em had little brothers and sisters. (people were still having large farm sized families back then) so , they loved children. What happened to that? what happened to the decencey and kindness, and giving for giving's sake?

It's a pleasent little memory... I still belive in the American people just as I belive in the human speicies.

Tradition dictates we have Matthew of the new testament read to us tonight. It somehow validates the holiday's. I don't want to sound to religous... somehow
oh well. thats for another time.

1950s- 1960s all the christmas songs (virtually all of them about 90%) had christ in them. But wether it's Christ, Yahway, Vishnu, Budah, or Guru Nanak, I want to wish you a peacuful and pleasent Holidays. and a MERRY CHRISTMAS :-)

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The novel has reached an interesting impass. Here I can turn it into a reflctive history of the 22nd century that surrounds a tragedy or I can shell out a closer more intimate perspective. More than half of people who analyze literature will say more intimate perspective, and I'm all for that. However I feel some exposition is needed for such a complicated story. Im just not sure where to put it.

We went grocery shopping today where we procured some egg nog. I like Egg nog. Later in a few hours we ar going over to the old masters house to play munchkin. I feel validated when I get to be the feline. :-D

anyhow I'm going to take a nap now. Call me before 4 'o clock your time if you want to pick up the conversation. After that I will be out of the house till late. I will call you when I get back...

oh and as of today my life was apparently saved. :-D HAIR DRYER! I know it's rather esoteric but I guese it qualifies as an inside joke.

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In the stillness of night their long unseteling limbs reach out to grasp the living.
movements slow and spastic
Their smiles set against a coutanance unworldly, serene
un---alive
In their smiles I see sorrow and anger
And when they grasp with their cold murderous fingers they whisper the secrets and the pain and the rage of termination into my ears.
It is not enough to have lived.
To die as they have, a cascade of violent reds splatered against a canvas consumed by an infinite blue night, from which there is no escape, and no dawn.


Yeah I know it's pretty mediocre, but it's a first draft. Anyhow, I got excepted into the advanced workshop based on the merits of another more polished poem, in case you were wondering.

The one I title, "the cloudls light up in amber streams" I have been inspired to do a poem on the topic of Onryu for a while. I don't think there is anything as creepy or as terminal. :-) I had nightmares when I was very young along those lines and this was before it was a big thing in the movie industry.

Something about the dead, or vengful ghost with inexorable purpose and anger, it creeps one out.

note to BFF Wheres my phone call? Try the house number instead. :-D

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As someone who has spent the entire semester studying the terrible things human beings have done to each during the last six centuries, I wish you a peaceful happy and genocide free holidays. I love christmas. I'm not sure why, perhaps it is the combination of cold weather, and familal closeness. or perhaps it's because I don't have to get up for clasess and can work out, read, lay in bed all day all I want. But the tree is up; I love the smell of pine. But it dosnt' make a diffence that this year we got an aritfical tree. With most of the famialy gone up until recenlty, no one wanted to go out and pick a tree. oh well. Im going to go do somethign semi - productive now.

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