mood: very sick Blagh. Can hardly write at all! It would appear that very soon I will be switching phones to cingular. Provided it is cost effective. :-( Im very sick... I work on the novel every, or just about every, night. Im worried about driving back to tally tommorow. well thats it for now.

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javascript:toolbox('listening') Generate Code for: Mood / Listening to / Watching Tonight I had gone fishing with the old master. My ta kwan do master. His nineish year old son and my twin came too. We had lots of fun and partaked of nicely prepared steak. There is a song caught in my head. "feel good inc." by the gorilaz. Its pretty cool. I have seen the music video and it is anime rific. In Louisiana A woman and her baby were trapped and starving. The mother cut her veins and started feeding her blood to the infant. For a while the mother lived... For a while. The infant will be fine. I imagine she will never find out what happened to her mother or what she did to ensure her life. If you listen to radio feedback from there... Well the instructors wife is police and she heard some National gaurd feedback. Someone high up said, "put down your shotguns and pick up your rifles." That is a terribel sign. It means that the Gaurds men may have to start taking people out at a distance... which means that there were people coming at the convoy. The attempt to hold on to life can be so unerving in its determanation. A hunger to hold on.. a ravinous need to be alive and not to die. after fishing we went back and the masters wife showed me some pamplets and told me some stories from her special tactics courses. Bladed weapons tactics, and the like. I got to see a 6 inch kaber. nothing specail about that Ive seen them before. But it was a Marine coprs Kaber so I showed intrest. Fishing near sunset was a beautiful thing. The water was ghostly clear yet dark from the absence of light. The fading sun cast things in an equally faint amber light and the clouds were dark azure billous airships. Today was good here in florida. I didn't have to feed my blood to anyone and I didn't have to shoot anyone. I live without the fear or base human brutality that others suffer through today. javascript:toolbox('listening') Generate Code for: Mood / Listening to / Watching I saw the film "the warriors" it was great.

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I have some really rockin clasess. ... and I got to talk on the phone with miss RICE for 25 or so minuetes. That was nice....
One of my clasess is just about Science fiction short stories... another is called "racial thought in Europe" and it is fascinating.

I met a late 40s history major today that lives with his parents... all I could think about as I spoke to him was " I don't ever ever ever want to be like you."
what made it funnier was that he was a flaming liberal.
I let him pratel on... listened to his points. There is no way to convert someone who has been so thouroughly indoctrinated for so long as he.

There was also this beautiful girl I wanted to ask out but I couldn't work up the nerve and h er attention was... elsewhere. Its the begining of the semester. So, now is not the time to bring out my great and terrible chamrs.

21 years of age am I now.

This life is overwhelming!

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I wish I knew how to add freinds and put up a shout bar. :-( Let me go back in time and throw up a post that says happy birthday to Amy. My computer didn't have intrenet all day yesterday so I could not do it then. I did call her though and vice versa and it made me feel tons better. the new apatment eats money.. but it is located within walking disatance of a starbucks and the campus. Heck FSU is practiaclly a giant Starbucks. In ever building they brew starbucks coffee. I just had an upside down caramel Machiato. It was done right this time and I liked it. FSU has an amazing gym and a ta kwan do club. They also have a science library. My twin and are participating in a test (regarding twins) we will be paid for our participation... also I might do some modeling tommorow for fifty bucks and the clothes I modle in I keep. Im going to raid the library tonight for info on orbital mechanics and and aerospace sensors ( i know I sas a periodical published on the latter.) There are so many stunning girls here i just wish i knew where to go to meet people. I see all these people walking around in couples... like they are all going to the arc. the apartment has cable which will help enable my addiction to battle star galactica. :-) the new show is just so gritty and edgey. These charecters aren't very much like their 2 dimensional counter parts because bad traumatizeing things happen to them and you know it's not all right by the next episode. So yeah my brother and I ran around campus today handeling scholarship and bank account stuff and later we are going to go out and look around. determine where my clasess are. Im going to write a chapter in the novel and in the shadow child project respectively tonight. and then pick up some basics from wal mart. I want to go to the campus church. It's a converted bomb shelter and thats pleny reason for me to find religon. :-) in fact I think thats how most religons should work. Think about it would you rather worship at the church of "nothing can hurt me" or would you rather be at the church of "our lady theres only so much I can do when you live under a frikin volcano." :-) I jest. But truly I want to see the inards of that church. It dosn't even look like a normal building. well thats it for me.

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feeling nervous. I had way to much sugar the other night which spawned about half a dozen minor feuds with god and his angels.

Its the big move to tallahassee and Im going to have to pack somethings. well a lot of things actually. I wanted to hang out with so many people before I left but it was just more econimical to stay home.

My twin wants his own guild wars account to he can play with Aisforapple and I.

now for some potentiall offensive philosophy in the motivations of man.

In the 1920s two men raped and killed a little boy. they threw his body in the river. Do you know what kind of punishment these men got? They were lynched up immediately. that kind of thing wasn't tolerated so they were hanged right there on the spot.

Today a man rapes ten girls because he probably enjoys it and for a fact he is trying to infect and kill them with the AIDs he carries. That man is walking free. He wasn't killed, not executed like the sadistic peice of trash he is. He is free. He outlived his sentence (lowered due to legal dealing) because of the excellent medical care he received for his AIDs in prison.

It seems to me, looking at these two examples, that humans have lost their humanity. I miss the essential and brutal concepts of right and wrong that ruled our species. But then again the law is supposed to protect the innocent, isn't it?

With the astounding amount of power avaliable to man today who is going to hold him accountable for what he dose with it? Free will right? Right and wrong?
Im afraid that it seems the most basic conditon of the human being is a pirmal selfishness. A selfish will to survive that when bypassed can lead to some remarkable things.

Im not talking about suicide bombers. Im talking about being aware of those around you as human beings and not simply tools to further your own survival and gratification. What do you think inspired those towns people to lynch those two men? wether it was right or wrong the feelings that moved them to such immediate justice must have been powerful.

What moves anyone to put themselves in harms way or do anything other than simply exist. No one simply sits around saying I better do this or I will die and I fear it shant get done. No normal healthy person anyhow.

what motivates a mother cat to go back into a burning building to save her kittens. Biolgically we could mark it up to a naturally directed survival instinct. The fact that she loves her kittens is convenint for her DNA because it helps her enusure it gets passed on. However, that dosn't mean its wrong to save kittens. In fact if you can understand the love of a mother cat.... or the love of anything other than yourself your okay with me. Because you understand pain and you understand that it might not be all about you.

But anyhow back on topic. Justice dosn't seem like justice anymore. Personally I belive they should just shoot repeat sex offenders in the head... or send them off to mine diamonds.

In the days when humans were hunting and gathering do you think they could spare the man power to watch over these kinds of freaks? no they would have killed him. Because even if he left he could come back.

today we have so many people in need of so many jobs. Some of the are dangerous... send them off to die. it might allow them to see or understand the fear of dying they so carelessly put in others. The fear they take such pleasure in might be theres... but would that be enough?

Not biologically. Those types of offenders seem resistant to treatments and personally I would rather have them dead. I don't think there is alot to know about any kind of redemption that would redeem a rapist. If there is I don't care.

I say it with a cold heart, repeated sex offenders deserve death.

I am a fan of cold logic.

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