the following is a work of fiction. It's obviously not real and by extension... not autobigraphical. intellectual property rights apply. I This has no serious aspirations for ever being published... I was just tooling around. for your pleasure!


...Perhaps it was because my mind was a drift. Behind us about Seven Kilometers a mushroom cloud ascends into the upper atmosphere gracefully like a tremendous ugly bird.

We’re far enough away to not be hit by the initial shock wave and to be afraid of flash burn would be a joke hiding behind the side of a Wall-mart as we are. Besides the flash went off moments ago. Its the first thing we became aware of, you and I.

But we aren't far enough to escape the Gamma radiation. We’ll be ingesting alpha and beta particles in just a little bit, too. And we know it. You light a cigarette and its the first sound I really hear. The jarring crack of the intial detonation means nothing to the flip of your lighter and the hiss of the minuscule flame.

There isn't enough time to find decent shelter. You and I will die out here. I look over at you. You look over at me. I can't tell you what my eyes are like or if it's even important but in yours I see a heaviness a fatigue. Or is it a deep thoughtfulness.

Derelict cars sit beached upon the sidewalks from where the denizens of this town tryed to bypass traffic in an evacuation that petered out hours ago. But our lives, you could say ended hours ago.

A few solitary figures wander the streets like ghosts. They stare up at the mushroom cloud now. They stare at us too. Idiots.

And although its probably too late we need to find some kind of shelter if only to die in it. The winds may be blowing just right. We could live.... you never know.

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Tonight Amy and I played guild wars untill she was to tired to go on. Then To put her to sleep I opened up my book of side projects and read her the very basics of some of the undeveloped stories I have come up with.

It was essentially just a book of ideas.

Amy still wants me to write more from my "shadow child project" But Ive been busy and the novel ... Well the novel is just so compelling to write. Its what I like to do. Talking to Amy actually gave me a few ideas about Shadow child though That I will no doubt incorperate somewhere.

Before I cracked open the side project book I went over shadow childs plot and she seemed very interesed, even demanding i write more.

the various undeveleoped project i told her about she also displayed varying degrees of intrest.

Well here it is. My slate for current projects. The ones that are actually fleshed out enough for me to pursue. I spend most of my time on my novel "War in heaven" (2 years infact) I have spent the odd weekend working on Shadow child and the God weapon short story I have not touched in a long while.

My Biological Project short story about a Korean refugee who dose desperate things to survive in comunist china, and is subjected to illegal brain surgery is something I plan to submit for entrance into the advanced writing workshops.

Eight AM calass tommorow. YAY!! well actually its today now... in a few hours to be more precise.

I find it funny that in my book of ideas there are 12 projects that I just don't work on at all.

When she got to tired to talk to we spoke on the matter of square dancing bears who ran gorme't coffee shops in their spare time.

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well it went from bad to worse. There is no such thing as a minor from the engineering school. My advisor of course didn't tell me that when I was registering. So Now I can either give up writing... or I can delay materials engineering and the dream of a private aerospace firm. Both of which are signifigant. I want my novel published... I want in on the aero space industry. The math courses from the earlier entry aren't really a problem. I am willing to work for it. But acredeitation and double majoring is. Im pretty sure it would kill me if i tried to double major. An alternative is I can take all the math courses now... and hope to do some graduate work in engineering. The lady game me a number to call and hopefully soon I will have it all worked out .

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Its at this time that I realize I have started too late. The clasess I want to take are over the at the college of engineering and what stands between me and admision over there are as follows: Physics I, Physics II, Calculas I, Calculas II, some sort of trig and then they might admit me. Then I may take clasess in thermo dynamics and materials engineering. The urge to give up has arrived in full force and is purring soundly in my lap. I wish I had taken these courses at Gulf coast. They would have been easier and i would have been done with them. But no I had to be a theatre major. To take this course of action I would h ave to give my life up to the math for the next few years and then the real work would start . Math is a creature I have seldom agreed with but If I want to make spaceships then I guese I don't really have any choice. Tommorow I will catch the bus over there (school of engineering) and try to get advised on a minor in chemical engineering or thermo dynamics. I don't know.. Im so far beahind on this. Should I just give up. It will take years to be admitted. I will literally take years to catch up. During which Im sure my novel will suffer. ... No. this was my plan. I can't give up on it or Ill just be an english teacher... published at best. There are too many people takeing the easy road out. Gosh. What can I do?

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seeing doctor tommorow. Every attempt I have made to have a doctor screen me for something a little bit terminal has been kind of laughed at, by myself included. But there has to be a reason for why disease hits me so hard. One of my freinds thinks I have cancer or something like that. I doubt it... but there may be some cause to my sicklyness. Perhaps I come from another biosphere ;-) a string of prayer beads from india sit on my desk twisted and enttiwined around itself. another three hour test tommorow. They wil probably interview me like they did last time. By test I mean psychological study on my brother and I. We are twins and they pay us thirty dollars a pop (for each of us) every time we submit to such an examination of our minds. The good news, is for now, there seems to be no shortage of doctors and graduates inviting us to their laboratories for simulations, interviews, and cordgial conversation. I hope this trend last. Secretely I must admit to liking the attention. Tommorow I will have gone four chapters ahead in chemistry. Its just all to basic. I want to switch clasess but I understand the course will pick up and Its not my only one. If my book is ever made into a movie... A track from slip knot will be obligatory... probably Vermillion part one or two. But thats pretty far in the future. not my novel being published... thats pretty soon. Im just thinking movie deals for it seem pretty unlikely. I don't know its pretty kick ass. a number of my freinds say it would make a great movie. But I chose those songs because they fit in nicely with Eionna's charecter and what she represents to the charter companies. Bed time. I don't think this entry was too awsome... So it is with some chagrin that I put it out there.

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tonight my brother and I dined at the Fresh food company. We approached like solitary coyotes our eyes full of the light from behind the glass. Our nostrils were full of the sent of warm food. Once inside I chewed down on a salmon wrap. pretty girls passed by as I read the exploits of proffesor Challenger and "the disentigration machine" Now thats a scientist I can support. Profesor challenger... yes you can almost see him holding his own against grizzly bears and dinasours... blindfolded. I worked up the courage to draw a girls attention long enough to tell her that, "your shirt rocks." My voice was sickly though. I had the opritunity to talk to her again outside. But my brother and I slinked away, as Coyotes do. http://files.redvsblue.com/nico/BloodGulchBlues_BloodyMix.mp3 i was jonesing for lemonade pretty badly earlier. Anyhow Im not that akward... some people think im pretty smooth. Well actually just one person... mabey two.. and none of them are me.

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