FROM invisibleinkling...hehe

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Did I make a bad decision?

I went out and bought this thing called "The Snuggle Nest" and it's basically a little bed for Gregory that I can have in the bed with me and it's supposed to keep him close by, but he can still sleep in the bed with us.

My initial reason buying this was because I have been sleeping with him at night and I usually cuddle him close to me and I seriously think that sometimes I might smother him on accident or something like that in my shirt on accident or something and I would feel completely horrible if I woke up and he wasn't breathing or something. I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself if that happened...

Anyway, I'm reading reviews from people who had one and didn't use it because one, it was too big for their queen size bed (we have a queen bed) and/or it was hard to feed him in the middle of the night without taking him out of the bed. To be honest, Gregory doesn't really do the whole "lay-on-your-side" feeding approach because he never latches on right. I usually get up and sit with him in the chair anyway...so that will not bother me one bit to take him out of the little bed. I don't think it'll bother me too much. I usually take reviews with a grain of salt anyway because if I like it, that's all that matters...and I think this will be a great benefit to us.

Here's some pictures from the website of babies using them...


This is the one that I bought...that baby is so cute sleeping in there (in my opinion)...he reminds me of Gregory sleeping.


Here's an older version of it (I think), but the baby looks so giggly and happy...I can't wait for Gregory to start getting giggly and smile like that. He's so close!

Speaking of Gregory...here he is!


This was as close as I could get him to smiling in his new bed...he's almost there!


He was sitting on the couch today...so confused!


haha...I just think he looks funny in this one!

Okay...I'm gonna go to bed now...I've got a splitting headache and it's probably from not getting enough sleep.

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Got my ticket...leaving Friday. So far, I got the cheapest ticket that I could possibly find ($229) and according to Farecast that ryan444123 conveniently gave a link to, it does not appear that it will be going down any time soon. It seems to be hovering around $230 for quite some time.

Thanks to kkama67 for the other links. I was not aware of Sidestep for plane tickets, but it was a well thought out site and I really do like it more than some of the other ones. For a long time, I was buying tickets on Hotwire because the tickets were the cheapest, but it was not that case this time.

Also, thanks to lostsoul13 for the suggestion of Southwest, but Southwest was horribly expensive to Seattle. They wanted some $350 for a ticket to Seattle, so I wasn't buying that...lol

But yeah...

I am not quite sure how I'm going to handle him on the plane and whatnot. I was reading up on Transportation Security Administration website to read up on breast milk/formula and transporting it on the plane. According to their website:

Baby formula and breast milk are allowed in your carry-on baggage or personal items. You can take these through the security checkpoints and aboard your plane. However, you must be traveling with a baby or toddler. If you’re not traveling with a baby or toddler, any formula or breast milk you’re carrying must meet the requirements for carrying liquids, gels and aerosols (3-1-1).

The thing that pisses me off the most about this though is this:

You are not limited in the amount or volume of baby formula or breast milk you may bring in your carry-on baggage. However, if these items are in containers larger than three ounces, please perform the following:

1. Separate these items from the liquids, gels, and aerosols in your quart-size and zip-top bag.
2. Declare you have the items to one of our Security Officers at the security checkpoint.
3. Present these items for additional inspection once reaching the X-ray. These items are subject to additional screening.

Well, Gregory drinks more than 3 ounces of milk per feeding, so I automatically have to make special arrangements for the milk to be inspected EXTRA SPECIAL because I cannot store it any other way...

Seriously, what the hell am I going to be hiding in breast milk?

So, with all this stuff happening...I should be probably be there earlier than I thought that I should be. I have to disturb him from his sleep (as I hope he'll be sleeping when we first get there as we'll be in the car for 30 minutes) and take him out of the sling that I have and walk him through the metal detector. I'll probably have to carry him from there down to the train and so forth as once he wakes up, he's a real bitch to get back in the sling...

Okay, I'm done bitching about the airport...

AND NOW...it's time for Gregory to wake up...so off I am to feeding :)

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I'm going to buy the plane ticket...

I say, screw it...I was going to try and go back to work, but honestly, I don't really want to...and I won't until I absolutely have to. I called my boss and told her March 1st, however...Brian and everyone else is encouraging me to stay out the maximum possible, which would be sometime in April. I don't know if I could stay out that long, but it's nice to sit there and think about it.

But yeah, back to the plane ticket. I'm going to fly back to Seattle on Friday and be out there for 10 days or so and come back on the 26th. I need to jump on the tickets now or else I'm going to be screwed. Since yesterday, tickets have gone up $100+, so if I wait any longer...I'm going to be sorry :(

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I woke up at about 1am feeling the most excruciating pain in my back and chest. The pain in my chest felt like a ton of bricks was sitting on it right at the bottom of my rib cage. I was having labored breathing and nothing I did made the pain in my back or anything go away.

About 20 minutes into it, Brian convinced me that we should go to the emergency room...so off we went.

We get there and they need to draw blood from me to do some tests...and, of course, they could not get blood to come out of my veins (once again, I was not hydrated). The first lady could not find any veins in my left arms, so she went to my right arm. She found a vein in the crook of my arm...started getting blood out of it and my vein blew (they way they describe it, it gets a little bump and nothing comes out anymore...isn't painful). SO, she tries my left hand (as there was a vein there)...same thing happened...filled half a tube and my vein blew. She said she only had a two prick policy and then she'd go and get someone else. Nurse #2 comes in there and she tries to get blood out of my left arm (there was a vein up on the side of my wrist)...that vein blew too! SO, nurse #3 comes in and low and behold, he was able to get the blood out that we needed for the tests and he was able to hook the IV up.

They did the normal question and answer thing and decided that they thought I could possibly have a pulmonary embolism (which is a blood clot in the lungs), so the blood tests would confirm that...and they would also run a CT scan just in case. Unfortunately, to do a CT scan on the chest, they have to inject you with dye so they can see everything...so no breastfeeding for 24 hours :(

When I got in there to do the CT scan, they laid me on my back and I wanted to die. The pain was horrible...and I was having trouble breathing again. I just wanted to the scan to be over with. When we got back, they gave me some powerful pain medication and I felt excellent...so I can't breastfeed for even longer (they want me to get OB/GYN and Pediatrician approval prior to feeding Gregory again)...SO, now I will be practicing the ritual of pumping and dumping. It feels like such a waste of breastmilk to pump it and then have to immediately dump it because it's bad...OH WELL

All the tests came back negative and I don't have anything wrong...just horrible back and chest pain. They gave me a prescription for Vicodin and sent my on my merry way.

By then, I was hungry...so we stopped at Burger King on the way home. I wanted some orange juice BAD. Sitting in the drive-through, I felt the sudden urge to vomit to my heart's content...SO, I'm throwing up now in the parking lot...I'm hungry at the same time as I had not eaten anything...so imagine dry heaving what little was in my stomach and still feeling like CRAP!

Anyway, I've gotta wash some bottles as now I have to feed Gregory exclusively from a bottle for a little bit. We're out of them now :(

Then to pump and dump...ugh...

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Why won't ticket prices go down to fly to Seattle? They've been hovering at $223 round trip (mind you, for shitty dates nonetheless - the dates that I would be able to use, the tickets are $273+)...if only I could find tickets for $145 like I did when I bought my mom's first one way ticket out to Denver. That price is something I can work with...

Anyway, nothing's been up with me the past few days other than me getting a damn cold. I've got a sore throat and a runny nose...and I'm extremely irritable (oh wait, I'm always irritable)...

The weather here has been warming up though...it's nice to be able to go outside and not feel like we're in a blizzard or something. 50 degree days are better than 20 degree days in my book.

WELL, Gregory's waking up...and since I've not posted a picture of him for a few days, here's one of him as close as I can get to him smiling. He hasn't started smiling yet, but I feel that it will be soon!

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Yesterday, I decided that I wanted to get out and walk. It was too cold to really take Gregory out for a walk outside (we can barely get over 40 degrees here...bastard cold front that's been here for over a month), so I decided that I would go to the mall and walk around.

I called Melissa and we went to Flatiron Crossing or just Flatirons to us local folks. If we talk about Flatirons like that, people might think we're talking about the Flatirons which are rock formations near Boulder, Colorado.

Anyway, now that I've thoroughly confused you, we went there and walked around. I take it many other parents got that same idea as there were TONS of people with babies and strollers and all that. The first thing we did when we got there was get some Subway though as we were starving. We were standing in line and someone asked how old he was and I told them "3 weeks."

We ate and then walked around the mall...well, Gregory decided that he wanted to eat about then so I whipped out a bottle and sat down in these comfy chairs they have all over and started to feed him. After that, he was just being fussy and wanted to be held but I didn't feel like sitting in the mall for an hour in a chair because he didn't want to go back in the stroller, so I decided to carry him around the mall. I don't know how many people we saw walking around, but they saw Gregory and were like "OOOH...he's so small." Granted, all the people that said that were speaking in Spanish, so all we heard was "Ooooh...chiquito!" I swear, we must have heard that phrase at least 3 times while I was holding him walking around the mall.

Finally, he was okay enough to go in the stroller...so we wanted to go to the lower level of the mall...the mall elevator was broken. OH GREAT! We had to go into the department stores to go down to the bottom level of the mall...I really hate department stores, but we had to go in there anyway.

Okay, I'm sure you don't want to hear anything about that stuff...but, conveniently, I did find some swim trunks that would be Gregory's size when he's old enough to go swimming (when it gets warm enough). I have been having a horrible time finding infant boys swim trunks (it seems like Target or Walmart only had 12 months or older), but I found some swim trunks at Baby Gap! I was tempted to buy them, but I did not. I will get them later (granted, they still have them)...here's a picture. They have geckos and lizards on them and they're so cute!



Anyway, I better get his "to go" bag packed up. I guess I'm going to Brian's parents house today...even though I first heard about it at about 8pm last night. Brian's like "My dad called you." Yes, I saw that he called me...but he didn't leave me a message...nor did he tell me to be at their house at 2pm today. I mean, the last time I checked, I didn't think that I had ESP or that I could read minds...but I guess I now am supposed to have this mystical power...*rolls eyes*

I told Brian last night (since it's sort of a Super Bowl thing) that if they start drinking excessively and whatnot (which usually happens), I'm not staying...I don't care. If I don't enjoy being around them when they're drunk, I do not feel that my baby should be subjected to that...and if they think I'm a bitch because of it, so be it. I told them I didn't want them drinking excessively around the baby, but they're the type of people that once they have one drink, they do not know when to stop...and it irritates me.

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WELL, I decided that since Brian just goes out when he wants to go out and I have no say in it and whatnot, I ASKED him if he could watch Gregory so I could go out with Melissa last night.

He goes "Oh, I was going to suggest that maybe you should get out..." and I'm thinking to myself, yeah, right...lol

SO, Melissa and I went out for drinks last night and it felt good to get away, but at the same time, I wish I could have taken Gregory. I didn't take him because I don't feel that he should be going to sit at the bar (even though it was in a restaurant) and watch me drinking. I don't want to subject him to that...even though he's little, he could still pick up on stuff like that.

When I left, I asked Brian to clean up the kitchen (since I had made dinner) and he was like "Sure, I'll do that."

I get home - Gregory is sleeping...Brian is sitting on his computer...the kitchen IS NOT clean. I'm like "Uh...I thought you were going to clean the kitchen" and he goes "Oh yeah, I completely forgot about it." SO, I get home and start cleaning the kitchen. Please note, I completely HATE dirty dishes that have sat out for hours because the food gets stuck to all the dishes and it's a bitch to clean up. When I cook dinner, I usually clean up as much as I can while I'm cooking so I have less dishes to clean up later. I learned it from my mom and I think that's a great way to keep the kitchen clean. Brian comes from a family that cooks dinner with 10 different pans and then puts them all in the sink and they sit there all morning. That is just completely disgusting to me.

I let the crock pot soak in the sink (since dinner had sort of baked onto the side of it and it needed some soaking). I was completely tired by then (it was midnight...I had gotten up at 6am...didn't take a nap all throughout the day...I can't do it) and I asked him to clean the crock pot and put it away...that's all I asked.

I get up this morning...not only is the crock pot still in the sink, but it was not put away. There was stew all over the counters and the sink. At least it appears that he attempted to clean the crock pot as it was not filled with soapy water, but still...when you clean something, do you put it back into the dirty sink? Do you clean up the stuff that had splashed all over the counter? UGH...

THEN, I've been having problems with milk supply and feeding :( I pump twice as often (to increase my milk supply) and it just seems like I'm getting less milk each and every time that I pump. It's discouraging...so I've been feeding Gregory formula in bottles so he doesn't starve and then I've been storing my milk so he has some. At the same time, I'll breastfeed him in the mornings and whatnot (so far, I've not found that he's confused by being bottlefed and breastfed...he hasn't had any trouble that I've seen differentiating, even though they do not advise bottle feeding and breastfeeding at the same time for obvious reasons). Anyway, I only have two 6oz bottles with the wide nipple (which is supposed to simulate the breast more than the standard nipples) and I get up in the morning and both of them are dirty...and I have to wash them. I guess Brian doesn't understand how to wash a bottle in the sink with soap and water since he never does it.

I guess while I was gone last night (between 9:30pm and 11:30pm) Brian changed Gregory's diaper which is all fine and dandy...but I went to bed and put the diaper changing stuff on the table (as we change him on the bed) and it never even got moved. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to feed him and noticed that it had not been moved. He had to have woken up before then...and Brian never changed his diaper. Poor thing...no wonder it appears that he has diaper rash...

Grr...another thing...we went and bought food for his lunch (if he packs a lunch for work, then we save money because he's not buying food)...I told him that the food that we bought (specifically the snack food) was going to be for his lunches. It's like he completely tuned me out or ignored me or something because he conveniently doesn't wake up in time to make a damn lunch before he leaves work (the one day that he took a lunch to work, I made it for him...) and then while I was gone last night or sleeping or something, he raided the cupboards and ate a ton of the snack food, had the cookies out, and he ate the cup-o-noodles thingy that we bought specifically for him to take in his lunch. He told me the other day that he eats leftovers, yet they're still sitting in the refrigerator (uneaten)...

AHH...it's driving me up the wall! As you can see, I'm just completely and utterly stressed out. My mom said that my decrease in milk production might be due to stress, but seriously...how do I become unstressed if it seems like I'm the only one taking care of the baby!

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