It's about a quarter after 3 in the morning here in Denver and I am wide awake. Something woke me up...and I've not been able to go back to sleep. This "thing" that woke me up was over an hour ago, so eh...

I have come to the conclusion that I either sleep like the dead or my neighbors have never had sex before...because that's what I was awoken by a little over an hour ago. NORMALLY, I talk about how quiet my neighbors are and how sound-proof my apartment is and how I can't hear anything, but maybe that's because my neighbors don't decide to do their dirty business until 2am and by then I'm in a coma-like state of slumber. Either way, they were louder than hell...and I could not get back to sleep because of said screaming (yes, screaming...) and strange noises. They had some music on too, so all I could hear was bass on top of that. It was awful...

But yeah...right before I went to bed at midnight, I was watching Carnivale and I don't remember turning it off or taking my glasses off or anything. I must have turned it off because the laptop was closed and laying on the bed and my glasses were on the nightstand, but I must have been extremely tired. Too bad that didn't last for too long.

Brian's day at Best Buy sort of sucked (in my opinion)...he had to work two shifts yesterday. The first one starting at 4am until 11am and then the next one starting at 3pm until about 9pm. He was practically there all day. I went and visited him about 6pm and we and had dinner before he had to go back to work. It was funny...I was standing in the front of Best Buy and I noticed him point over at me and then him and this other guy laughed. When we went outside I asked him what he said and he said that they had asked him which one was his girlfriend and he goes "the pregnant lady over there." I was like "So, you didn't see that fat chick over there?" and he's like "If I wanted to be mean, I could have..." I think the funny part about it was that they know that I'm pregnant, yet they had to ask and I was the only pregnant lady standing in the front of the store. Maybe I don't look as pregnant as I feel...lol...it honestly feels like I have a big balloon shoved up my shirt only it's much harder and it kicks me a lot.

Anyway, I'm gonna surf Blogmad for a while since I'm way behind on that and catch up on my blogs that I like to read...and then I'll attempt to join slumber land again. My neighbors must have fallen asleep now as their hour long fun (could have been more...who knows...) has ended from the sounds of things. I thought about knocking on the wall a ton, but I decided to be nice as I wouldn't want someone to do that to me...then again, if I lived in an apartment (and I do), I wouldn't be sounding like I was making a porno video either. Have some common courtesy people...people live around you and can hear everything you're doing...is that what you really want?

EDIT: In other news, I finally was able to get The Sims 2 Pets to work on my computer, so now I can waste the hours away on mindless drivel...woot! I guess when I was trying to use the crack, I did not put it in the right spot, so it would crash every time that I tried to open it. Brian told me that I just needed to find the actual file that the one was in and copy the crack to the program file and then I should be good to go. I did just that and it worked like a charm! I made myself a little family with a border collie :) yay! The only thing...my dog likes to pee on the carpet, but I can't punish her for it because she does it when I'm not in the room. She likes to sleep on the bed though, yet she dreams in her pet bed about not sleeping on the human beds...crazy dog.

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Okay, that was a horrible movie reference, but eh...

I went to get Starbucks for lunch (my usual iced chai, light on the ice) and on the way back, I got stuck by a train on the train tracks. Eh, big deal...train...but I sat there for about 5 minutes watching army trucks/cars/hummers/etc. roll by on this train and I gradually saw the train going slower and slower...and finally, it stops, right on the tracks, in the middle of the road with only 2 boxcar/trailers left. What the hell? It couldn't have pulled up a little more and then stopped so the cars could go through? Sat there for another 5 minutes just staring at the train that wasn't moving while we just sat there and waited...and waited...AND WAITED...saw tons of cars turning around in my rear view mirror because I guess patience escapes these people. THEN...the train moves and I can be on my merry way.

Well, I pull up to the light that's just around the corner and it was red, so I stopped...and there's a horse pasture right across the street. I was watching the horse run around the pen (because usually, the horses are just standing there but this time, he was running all over) because I thought it looked interesting and then I saw a p-dog on the ground sniffing around...so I watched that. I guess the light just turned green and I didn't go fast enough because this bitch in this red mustang behind me decided to blast her horn at me. EXCUSE ME...I guess sitting behind the train was too much for her because sitting behind me for 2 seconds after the light turned green was just too much. I felt like extending my middle finger to her and letting her know what I really though...

Ugh...road rage. I kept it to myself only to talk about it later in my ramblings. I seriously think people are in too much of a hurry these days. Why can't people just calm down, take a deep breath, and enjoy the time that they have versus rushing around trying to get everything done in 2 seconds and speeding past people because they're in such a hurry. I wonder if they're in a hurry in their real lives or are they those people that take their time and never clean up or get anything done at home?

Reminds me of all those people we had out here about a year ago...I'm sure if you were all paying attention, we had the guy that decided he didn't want to sit in traffic on the freeway, so he manufactured a "passenger" out of a department store dummy and put it in his passenger seat so he could ride in the carpool lane. Granted, he got busted...had to stand on an overpass and tell people not to be a "dummy" and drive in the carpool lane...OR, the guy who didn't want to wait at red lights, so he drove through Longmont every day with one of the IR flasher thingies that the police use to change the lights...he got in trouble too. OR, the countless times I see people driving in reverse down freeway onramps because of the traffic on the freeway they're getting onto...or driving up the median or over the grassy parts on the shoulder to get to the frontage road to avoid traffic.

IMPATIENCE!!!!

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Happy Black Friday everyone (I suppose that's not such a happy gesture, but eh...)

Hopefully no one's out braving the crazy shoppers this morning and if you are, I either commend you for your dedication or pity you for not being smart and just shopping online. Online = no people, not lines, no waiting in those lines = much better time!

Anyway, I'm at work this morning...oh well...it's not like I would have been doing anything else, so I don't mind being here. Our department is about 50 % this morning, so we're short staffed...and I highly doubt anything is going to go down today anyway. If I was a business that we deal with, I'd not be working today...lol

Poor Brian had to be to work at 4am this morning. I'm sure his day is an utter nightmare about now. The news was doing a story last night and they were standing in front of a Best Buy and there were 60/70 people standing in front of the store last night...so I'm sure he's feeling the hurt right about now. I think they opened at 6am or something. Not sure though...either way, I feel bad for him :( I think having to deal through that would bring out the Christmas scrooge in me.

Ugh...I didn't post much about Thanksgiving because we didn't do much of anything. We drove down to Colorado Springs and visited Brian's grandparents (his grandpa's in a nursing him, his grandma was at home)...the ride down there was an utter nightmare. Brian's dad is so jerky and in a hurry when we drive anywhere, so we were all over the road and we were jerking in and out of traffic, to and from stops, flying around parking lots, etc...I thought I was going to be sick. I certainly felt like being sick, but rather than be a bitch and ask him to drive better, I just sucked it up and sat in the back of the car waiting to hurl. It never happened, but it could have...

We went and got his grandma a Christmas tree and helped her set it up...and then we drove back to Denver as everyone really had to work this morning. I drove home after that and tried to install a game on my computer at home. OF COURSE, it didn't work...so I felt like a tard and was asking Brian every 2 seconds what I was doing wrong. From what it appears, I wasn't doing anything wrong, so we may have just downloaded a bad version. Who knows...you'd think by now I'd have figured out how to use Daemon tools...lol

Other than that, complete uneventfulness! Woo...

Anyway, better get crackin' on this crap that I have to do. I'm crossing my fingers that we get to leave a little early...then I'm gonna stop by Target and see if there's anything on sale that I want to get someone :) I'm sure I'll be asking for it after I do that.

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I know it's late in the day...but this is all you're gonna get for me for today...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!!

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Well, the fun is only beginning. Yesterday at about 3:45, we had a power surge at work and it wiped out of all of the computers...and of course, the main program we use to do everything in our department is now corrupted. No one can get into it, so we are not functioning WHATSOEVER. Fortunately, everything that I do does not involve this program, so I can still work to my full capacity. Unfortunately, all of those who are paying bills and billing cannot function to their complete capacity as this program is what does the bill paying and paying bills (and issuing checks, etc.)...

We're SOL...it wasn't working last night...it's still not working again this morning, so we're stuck going no where yet again today.

What does this mean for me? Month end is going to suck! If we're getting behind now, just imagine how behind we're going to be when the end of the month rolls around and we have to pay everything and bill everything from a certain point forward. I suppose overtime is good...but it's November...it's the end of the year, I think we all just want to enjoy the holidays!

Anyway...I have a doctor's appointment this evening after work (we're supposed to be closing the office early at 3pm), so I might be leaving early...but I seriously doubt it. I have to leave at 3:30 anyway to make it to my appointment, but if I get to leave earlier by 30 minutes, it'll be nice too. I can stop and get Starbucks or something (I've been getting the chai a lot...I love the chai...but is it work $3.80 every time I go there to get an iced chai? Probably not...especially when I can go to Sam's Club and get a 3 pack of concentrated Oregon Chai for a little under $8.00 and make my own at home...lol)...

Thanksgiving tomorrow...and we're driving to Colorado Springs. I really don't want to go, but I said that I would. We're going to Brian's grandparent's house...I hope we don't stay there for very long. Brian has to work at 3:45 in the morning on Friday and I have to go to work as well on Friday, so I don't want to be out and about...especially an hour away from the hospital for too long. It's bad enough I live far away from the hospital as it is, but I really don't want to be down in the Springs and not near the hospital. Traffic will be a nightmare trying to get back up here and ugh...I can already just imagine it.

We'll have to bring the laptop and watch a movie on the way down there. At least pretend to enjoy the car ride...

Okay...better get started...

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My lunch is not nutritious or healthy...just plain delicious. I know I should eat more than what I'm eating, but I'll do that when I get to Brian's house tonight.

I'm eating the Santa Fe Crunch mix...with little sesame sticks, cheese curls, pretzels, and toasted corn chips. It's a little on the spicy side, but eh...it's the only thing that I can eat in mass quantities and it doesn't give me heartburn! Woo!! I also have my can of Dr. Pepper (I know, not really what I should be drinking), but I can't help but drink Dr. Pepper. I did have a craving to water last night (haha...yeah...), but it has to be bottled water. I spoiled myself on the bottled water and I can't stand drinking tap water anymore. It tastes like CRAP...CRAP CRAP CRAP!! I have a Brita pitcher, so I might just go buy a filter for it and make my water. It tastes so much better...

ANYWAY, other than that...it hasn't been too horrible of a day (as predicted). I'm still a little exhausted and anxietized, but oh well. It happens.

OH, I was reading on the baby message board that I used to post on and they were talking about IV's and I just wanted to throw-up listening to them talk about it. Then my hand started throbbing (because they were talking about alternate places to put an IV rather than in your hand) and every time I squeezed my hand, all I could think about was the IV...I'm just so grossed out by IV's in general. I wanted to get educated about them because I know that they're just catheters and it's nothing that I should be afraid of, but seriously...I think IV's are on the top of my list of things that I HATE the most. I've had them on more than one occasion...once in the hand and once in the crook of my arm and it's not that I had a bad experience with them, I just do not like them.

The more I looked up information about them, the more that I felt uneasy about them, but WHY? I was reading that they use the 16 guage catheters when you donate blood (which I do all the time...when I could) and they use 18 guage ones for normal blood draws (which I have had a lot too recently). They even use smaller ones like 20 to 22 guage catheters for blood draws also (like in babies and whatnot)...so why am I freaking out about it? I mean, if we think in relation to things that I have already (i.e. earrings and piercings), it really shouldn't bother me that much. Normal earrings are 18 guage posts...I have my rook pierced, and that's either a 16 guage or a 14 (I don't remember) so that right there is as big as the damn IV needle...if not bigger. I had my eyebrow pierced, but I freaked out on that one and they put the 18 guage in when it should have been the 16 guage...lol...I REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR!!!

Ugh...here I am getting worked up over needles...I told Brian that when they put that IV in my arm, anywhere in my arm (the hand, the wrist, the elbow), my arm will be limp and I will not use it while that needle is in there. They state that they use plastic catheters so they're more flexible in the skin...but seriously, a piece of hard plastic in the skin for hours on end is not flexible...A PIECE OF PLASTIC IS A LITTLE BENDY, BUT IT'S NOT FLEXIBLE!!!! When I think flexible, I think rubber tubing, really bendy...not bendy plastic?!

Okay, I'm overanalyzing this...lol

I'm going to go now before I pass out from talking about it...hehe

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Someone said I looked tired this morning...I responded with "Yes, I'm always tired...tired of life..." It's just one of those mornings already...depressing as hell.

I hate my boring commute where I'm sitting in my car all alone, I hate coming home to a house where I'm all alone, I hate sitting at work where I'm mostly alone (except for the fun communication I get with the outside world...ahem)...life is pitiful sometimes, but I still wake up every day and I deal with it. I think that's the shittiest thing about it...

But anyway, today will be slightly busy. I have a number of things to do today and I will quite possibly have someone sitting with me all day so she can learn what I'm doing. We'll see though...every time that happens, it never seems to work out and I'm back here, alone, as usual. No one will ever get trained to do what I do and I'll be back here the week after I have my baby because there'll be no one to fill in for me. That'll be just my luck.

Sometimes I regret even having this baby...I could have had so much going for me and now it's all gone. Now it's all expressed toward having and taking care of this baby. All my money for bills is going to go towards diapers and baby stuff. I can't even attempt to find a job in the field I graduated from school in because I'm having this baby. The times that I do attempt, they turn me down for some stupid reason (only because they can't legally tell me they don't want to hire me because I'm pregnant...that's discrimination)...Now it just seems like I wasted the past 3 years of my life getting this Bachelor's Degree and I'm not even using it.

On the other hand, I can't say that I hate that this baby is coming. I do think that it is a blessing at times, but I just wasn't prepared. I still think even after he gets here, I still won't be prepared. Brian is getting really excited about the baby being here, but he's not even there to support me half the time. I have half-hearted ideas that he'll actually be living with me by the time the baby arrives. I can only hope that it will be that way, but he just keeps telling me that he'll be there soon. When is soon? Next year...next month...next week? I mean, the other night when I was having those back pains and stuff, it would have been nice to have someone there to give me a back rub and help me relax (like they discuss in the baby class we go to on Tuesdays), but all he could do was sit there and talk to me on the computer. He had no desire to even come over...is it going to be the same thing when I'm in labor? Is he going to sit there and just talk to me and tell me "that sucks" and let me just sit there by myself? I honestly can't help feeling that way only because he's never proven me any different.

Ugh...I don't want to talk about that anymore. It's depressing just thinking about it and I really don't want to be more depressed than I already am. Maybe I'll write more later when the day has gotten even worse (as it has not even started here yet)...

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With my bored time, I decided to mess around with those photoshop tutorial thingies that were on the forums...

Here's something I managed to make in my spare time...you can laugh at me all you want, but I was just playing. It's sort of fun when you just mess around with it.


Just some random lilies I found online...


I love Luis Royo, so I messed around with one of his pictures...


I have no idea where this lady is from, but she was pretty...

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