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Love & Peace!! (Yeah I just got done watching some Trigun...)
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All entries for 2006
12/26/2006: My 3 day weekend.

12/23/2006: Gift giving.

12/22/2006: Mind of Mencia

12/19/2006

12/16/2006: Where have I been?

12/09/2006: Only the minimum.

12/08/2006: untitled

12/07/2006: untitled

12/05/2006: Public restroom experience.

12/04/2006: Closer to my goal!

12/02/2006: Baffled.

12/01/2006: Where has my week gone?

12/01/2006: Why me?

11/30/2006: Wash your hands.

11/28/2006: Something is very wrong...

11/25/2006: Do you dream in different languages?

11/22/2006: Sex, deception and Taiwanese vs. Japanese.

11/22/2006: Psychos, houses and mother-in-laws who can be considered psycho.

11/20/2006: Big trucks + me driving = 90% change of accident

11/17/2006: Blogmad.net

11/16/2006: WTF!

11/15/2006: Angel and Vic Zhou

11/15/2006: Vengeance is best served slow.

11/14/2006: There needs to be a time limit rule...

11/13/2006: Mars.

11/10/2006: Where is the rain!

11/09/2006: The cleaning ninja!

11/08/2006: Confession is good for the soul.

11/07/2006: Over priced movies and kids.

11/06/2006: Marie Antoinette.

11/03/2006: Uneasiness

11/02/2006: Dirty looks...

11/02/2006: Menopause Fairy where are you?

11/01/2006: WOOT!!

10/31/2006: All in a name...

10/31/2006: I feel the love!

10/30/2006: Personal space.

10/29/2006: Finally done!

10/29/2006: Password protected recipe.

10/28/2006: Almost there.

10/27/2006: Appropriate gifts.

10/27/2006: untitled

10/26/2006: Behold the power of QVC!

10/25/2006: Do you want fries with that?

10/24/2006: Random thoughts.

10/20/2006: Fickle and can’t seem to learn...

10/18/2006: I want...

10/13/2006: Finding happiness in hectic times.

10/11/2006: Being responsible SUCKS!!

10/04/2006: And then there was none...

09/30/2006: Only to be single...

09/22/2006: Free at last!

09/14/2006: My mom always did tell me not to stare at people...

09/12/2006: Manga, homeless, Jun <3 and lack of sleep.

09/10/2006: Karma.

09/07/2006: His ears must have been burning.

09/06/2006: Bangs head against wall...

08/31/2006: Hot water.

08/22/2006: No pain, no gain!

08/17/2006: Mixed feelings...

08/15/2006: Buyer beware and why I dislike UPS!

08/09/2006: Hobo Stew.

08/07/2006: Oh to be so close and yet so far away...

08/06/2006: "I long for you." It's a compound of love with zero impurities.

08/05/2006: In need of a maid...anyone willing to work for free?

08/04/2006: Say WHAT?!

08/03/2006: Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho…Back to work I go!

08/02/2006: Is there a doctor in the house?

11/02/2006 1:04 PM
Menopause Fairy where are you?

So here I sit once again pondering when the blessed and wonderful menopause fairy will come to me. I wish she would hurry her butt up because she’s seriously taking waaaaaay too long to get to me. I mean out of all the people who she goes to you’d think she’d go to the ones who don’t want kids first right? /sigh Totally unfair really. First my doctor wouldn’t give me a hysterectomy and said wait until you’re 18, you might change your mind. I laughed at her, but agreed since me arguing wasn’t going to change her mind since I tried that two weeks before. Well by the time I turned 18 they were pretty much outlawed where you can only get one if you have cancer or something! How unfair was that twist of fate! :( Have your tubs tied one might say, but that’s not 100% effective and it also doesn’t stop everything if you get my meaning. So here I wait for my turn with the menopause fairy hoping someday soon she will bless me with her presence. *hint hint* I have a feeling God will show his quirky sense of humor again and the wonderful fairy won’t show up until I’m in my late 40s... <_<

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way. Am I the only one who at age 5 was praying to God to never be able to have kids? Yeah that’s right. I’ve disliked kids even when I was one. They were fun to boss around and use them like puppets, but otherwise I found them to be pretty useless, annoying and stupid. All of the whining and complaining about how things were too hard and the adults who used baby talk to me thinking I didn’t understand what they used to say about my mom just because they used “big” words. Boy were they surprised when I told on them. /evil grin So yeah, when I joined SnS I was very pleasantly surprised how many of the people I enjoy and love were so much younger then me. (I’m the oldest active member.) I never liked anyone who wasn’t 17 or older before so maybe I’m getting over my distain for kids... Yeah I don’t think so either. <_<

I guess what it boils down to is this. Why do you want to have a baby? For some, like my mom, they love children-of all ages-and want one or more of their own. That’s great. They are the type of people who should be having kids. They are the kind who will do the absolute best they can do for their kids and raise them well. Then there are people who may think they want a child because the love them, but their true reason is actually because their childhood was somehow screwed up. (Who’s childhood didn’t have something go wrong...seriously no one’s childhood is perfect even if it may seem like it was.) They have a kid to try to fix where they fill their parents went wrong usually failing miserably and having a kid who will in turn do the same as their parents. Then there are those who didn’t plan on having a kid, but end up having one and can fall into either slot.

It’s not like I don’t know how to play with kids or take care of them. I do and I do it very well when needed. :) My sister moved home when she was pregnant and stayed far too long so all those so called “horror” stories are basically true. I know... I also know myself though. I am a selfish creature who is also clingy. If you’ve read the manhwa Hot Blooded Woman...yeah that would be me. I want my boyfriend all to myself and having a child means I would have to share. I also know that I would have to give up and do without a ton of stuff so my child can take lessons, go on trips, etc. etc. I’m not willing to do that. It all boils down to knowing ones self, acceptance and working within your realm. One like myself should not have kids and should take all precautions not to have them. While I know I could be a good/great mom, I also know myself and my limitations.

Those seem like silly reasons right? Well there’s more. You see you can’t pick who you have. Even then I would adopt since have you SEEN someone give birth and have you HEARD what can happen? Oh...My...God... Yeah...never EVER going to happen, EVER. I have high standards. 1) The child would have to be a girl. 2)The child would have to have medium brown hair, fair skin, mixed blood between white and Japanese and either blue, hazel or green eyes. (Violet is my top choice, but that’s extremely rare.) 3) The child would have to be well behaved, even when a baby. I know this can happen since I was one of those babies. I rarely cried, always behaved, was very quiet and amused myself in my crib if my mom and dad were still sleeping. When I learned how to crawl, which was quickly since I was a daddy’s girl instantly and always wanted to be with him I would crawl out of my crib and into their room to amusing myself on the floor until the woke up. It may be rare for a baby to do that, but who cares? I’m picky what can I say? :) Even if I compromised with a boy and different looks the factor of behavior is HUGE for me. Behavior only has so much to do with the environment I am not willing to take the risk of ending up with some half-baked child that drives me truly insane because of how unruly they are. No matter how great the parents are sometimes the child will always just an unruly pain in the a** brat.

So here I wait semi-patiently for the wonderful blessed menopause fairy to come to me. I hope she hurries up... I’m also sure I’m the odd man out, but that’s ok. I always have been about this subject. Even my mom quit saying, “You might change your mind about it, I did when I turned 21.” when I finally replied, “I’m 22, you were wrong and lied.”

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11/01/2006 7:11 PM
WOOT!!

So many things to talk about, but I’ll only talk about two of them. My boyfriend got a new job. A nicer job. A higher paying job. A job near where I used to work which means he can have Rally's everyday if he wanted to with ease type of job...ok so my priority is a little off, but hey I like my lunch hour and I LOVE Rally's! XD Any who, I’m happy for him, but it also means I might not have my Civic all the time again. That’s going to suck. I don’t like the Mazda as much. I have to sit higher and the sound system isn’t as nice and it has a reg. cd player so I don’t have a ton of mp3s to choose from. I need to convince my boyfriend we should sell that car and buy another Civic...or at least put in a better sound system and mp3 player. XD I think I have about as much of a chance as that home theater system I want so I can watch anime better. hehehe

Today I finished with my physical therapy. I might still go though since for 35 bucks a month I can use their equipment anytime of the day and as often I want. :) Then again I might not if I do all of those other exercises I need to do that I’ve been given to do at home. I can’t wait since by spring I should be fit enough and my outfits should be made to cosplay a little! XD I took some pictures this morning. Mainly of the facility, a couple pics of Paul and one of Paul and the co-owner Curtis. Not sure what Paul’s job title is, but he’s very nice, cool and funny. :) No Paul is not the one who I was hoping to be there, but hopefully he will be there on Friday when I drop off their “thank you” lunch. He was there yesterday, but stupid me didn’t take a picture. BLARG I tell ya BLARG!! If I missed my chance I’m gonna be pissed since I’ve been promising you guys pics for a while now... <_<

The song of the day was picked because I can’t get the “bridge” out of my head. I listen to the song full blast as I was driving back to work.

Edit: Well I decided to take a short afternoon break and finish out my thoughts from this morning. :)

I happened upon an amazing discovery yesterday when I returned to work. Now I had made it very clear in my voicemail that I would be in that day to just leave my work that I needed to do in my inbox and I would process it when I got in. I swore I would be in the next day and to not worry since I would finish everything Tuesday. Part of my problem with my things being touched is when a co-worker, sweet an nice as can be, starts the process on my work. My problem with the help? Oh just little things. She doesn’t staple the work where I would and doesn’t put the pages in the order I would. She doesn’t stamp them where I would. She doesn’t fill in the stamp like I would. However, I do realize she’s taking time out of her busy work schedule to do me this thoughtful favor. I have never figured out why she kept doing it for me, since she never did it for me when I first started working there and would miss days, until yesterday. I think it has to do with me telling her thank you and how grateful and appreciative I am for her help. I am and I do mean what I say to her, but I think I’m the cause for my problems. Maybe if I never thanked her the first time she did it and told her how helpful it was she would have never done it again thinking I was an ungrateful person for the help she had given? It’s a thought. So basically it’s my fault for having caused this nervousness when I miss days if someone will touch my things. If I had never told her how helpful it is when she does it she may have never done it again... Damn my stupid impulse to thank people when they help me!

I had this gut feeling that I had under paid my physical therapy place from what Paul had told me this morning. It was eating away at me alllll morning long. I drove over during lunch and I was right. However who cares about that right? On my way in guess who was walking out? That’s right the guy I’m now no longer sure if he looks like Jun, but like I said he's still good looking in my humble opinion. :) As he walked past I noticed he had some sort of dragon type of tattoo on his upper arm. (He normally wears long sleeved shirts so I’ve never noticed.) I finally got him to talk to me and say hi. Then again I never really said hi to him. I mean there’s a time and a place and when someone’s busy working it’s not the right time, especially if you have no reason to talk to them. Then it’s more like you just hitting on them when you aren’t. XD

Yes, this thought is going somewhere. The question is why are some people uptight? What makes some people not as “friendly” as others? Am I just overly friendly and expecting too much out of them? I mean seriously. We have a new “temp” FedEx guy. Totally bums me out because the other guy was getting to be sooo cool! I mean like Jared cool; laughing, talking, wasn’t all boring and uptight “gotta get to work” type of FedEx guy. I wish they would make up their minds. At this rate I won’t know anyone well enough for a Christmas gift. Then again that is another 10ish bucks saved... I want Jared back! <_<;;

Edit2: Note for Kuri I signed up for Blogmad.net. We’ll see how it goes. I wonder if it will really increase traffic. <_<

Edit3: Changed my mind, keeping Jun's song up for another day because it's my blog and I can. XD

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