ok so im looking into starting AFROTC next year right.... and college aps are so.......tedious......ugh!......oh well stuff you gotta do to become successful right.....i mean what is successful anyway......why do people seek to become successful......its a weird concept.....and by which does a person measure him or her self up to.....i mean when i fed the homeless i talked with one of them who was like.....oh I lived on the streets for ten years now and i love it...no responsibilities you know.......so are they successful.....i mean they are happy where they are at and they get what they need (i.e. food, clothes).....but if i was trying to figure out what was successful.....especially for myself....i would not consider that successful......but then again there are people in the world that have all the money in the world and still have divorces and commit suicide and are alone and basically spend there life trying to find something to fill an empty void. so then the question arises does all the money in the world make a person successful.....i mean seriously what is this word successful......and why do we give it so much power.....i mean i know what i measure myself up to and it is not any person......i dont feel comparing yourself to a person helps anyone at all.....

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im home and its cool.....talked to rover the first time in like three months.......wow......i doubt anyone even reads this anymore or atleast anyone who knows who rover is.......anyways.....my adventures so far have been um.....interesting to say the least.......i have worked behind the scenes at concerts and conventions and have been to LA quite a few times.....ive also been in rocklin a few times and anahiem, stockton. fresno, reno, salt lake city, denver, sacramento, and of course sanfransisco to name a few.....when i went to denver we spun out cause it snowed like a foot and a half the night before we left and we didnt have snow tires or chains.......fun stuff....well anyways we hit a patch of black ice and slid um about the length of a football field.......but it was fun.....it was even funner trying to get the huge van out of the median.......anyways more details later presuming that questions will be asked

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have nothing to say except......well....nope...no exception this time.......i really have absolutely nothing to say..

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do you ever think that your life could be taken away in the next second.......i dunno about you but i never really think about that or at least i didnt until tonight.....my sisters boyfriend(he will be reffered to as J) was in a fatal car accident today....he was on his way to meet me my sister and a friend to go kick it tonight.....well on the way he ran into a guy on the dirt bike and killed him. the guy on the dirt bike didnt have any lights on and j didnt see him until he hit the windshield........ so anyways i just got home.....and i will no longer speed anymore....... i have learned my lesson through him......i mean i dunno whats around the next corner or even what is right ahead of my car......all i know is that i am not promised tomorrow and i am not gonna risk some else going to hell because of my stupidity.........

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so i went to denver last week and it was cool......had good times....tell you more about that later though.....oh found the library so ill be able to update my nutang more often.......nice huh....!!!

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hmmmm......it seems my life is utterly exhausting....... like for instance take this last weekend.....we drove all the way down to anaheim which is a 7 hour drive from where i am at to work for three days to make about $7000......well thats all cool right....until you find out that you work for 18 hours and then get up 4 hours later to get yourself presentable for the next days work......ugh......you try getting up at 2:30AM every morning for three days and not getting off work untill 11.......ugh that sux...........man if i sleep in until 7am ANY day of the week...that is sleeping in for me.......I dont get weekends off......i get one day a week off.....you know i used to hate mondays......but now......oh yeah monday is 3 days away.......ok and in two days I leave to do a denver tour......we have 4 performances and were their for ten days.....can you guess what we do the days we are not on stage........work....i have to schedule a time for a snowball fight though just cause i havent seen the snow in a while......O and i got attacked by a dog today....... my only 3 days that i am in the town i call home now i am house sitting.....so i had to go and get the dog and put him in the kennel.....well the dog like jumped up and bit my lip and bit my arm and stuff.....but im ok i mean im still in one peice so it couldnt have been that bad right.....just scared me a whole lot....i was shaking vigorously......oh and one of our team members had a ceasure today......we had a strobe light going for one of the dramas and she like freaked out and started convulsing and froze up and stuff.....its been a very interesting day......the last part was really funny though.....we had practice all day and right as we were going over the last drama the last time this guy starts busting out with cowboy and redneck saying......it was absoulutely hilarious...i think it was the funniest night so far.....well i get to go home for christmas I am sooooooo excited......i cant wait till i get to spend a whole two weeks away from the 9 other girls that live in the same house......and you know...i miss rover....yeah i said it......i mis rover.....but you know who i miss the most of all.......i miss my sister.....i think about her all the time and i cant wait to see her when i come homoe for christmas.....my brother wont be there though he will be at his fiance's house.... I am going to miss him...anyways...im tired and i got to get up at 6....oh look only 5 hours of sleep....ugh....ok im done

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