its like walking outside and taking a fresh breath of air after being in a house all day that has had the stuffy heater running. new life....hard to explain.....hard to imagine.....and hard to live.... but its totally worth it.... so i hat my leadership here.....or loathe them however you want to look at it but I am gonna get what i am here to get... GOD..... and i dont care what anyone has to say about it.... no im not this girl that is like a blind little child following what someone tells me to follow..... I believe it for myself.....i know why....kinda anyways...ok wow i dont make any sense.... its cool..... last night i prayed for two hours and like yeah ephesian 1:1-7. hmmm...... read it its GGOOOO_OOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!. YEAY! no more depression..... weeeeeeeee!!!! oh im going snowboarding on december 21 and its gonna be of the hook

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Well i am in the bay still.... england fell through.... sad but true..... and well actuallly im doing ok despite the circumstances..... Oh wow ill be on here a lot more cause the people around here dont know about nutang and it will be a way for me to release my um........ anger....... yeah.... well i hate the leadership here...... really.... but you know sometimes there is nothing you can do about it.... I cant wait till fall of 2006 Im going to go to architectural school..... I wanna be an architectural designer....which will be a lot better than doing nuthing or you know going out and getting married right off or sumthing.... not that theres anyone im even considering to be that special someone right now..... well there was but then he tried to have phone sex with me....... oh wait there goes leadership again....

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Wow.... I'm am almost out of Master's and England is just around the corner I am so scared.....and excited.....Imagine if I would have just went to college.....I mean dont get me wrong college is not a bad thing....but If i hadnt have gone to Master's I wouldnt be on my way to ENGLAND in august....BUt i am a little stressed about getting money......I mean I need $13,000 I am so scared about not getting it......ugh well i dunno yet anyways im out

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I now have to start living my future and not just preparing for it. I know what lies ahead of me is scarier than I could ever imagine. But it is the adventure of a life time. I finally found my purpose and now my only mission is to expand on that. I know that going to England later this year is only a small taste of what is to come. Still I need cash.... about 13,000 dollars......anyway i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the money will come.....the only thing left to conquer now is my own selfish desire.....nothing new though....the age old battle of spirit against flesh has never changed. And now I must take action so my spirit can win.....I know this sounds crazy but I have found true happiness and joy and the crazy thing is that I got it from doing something that I never thought would be fun.....in one word ......Christianity.......True Christianity none of the hypocrytical bull crap that I used to do of saying one thing but living another....no that was just pure foolishness.....but now .....now that I understand what and how I must live and walk every single day for the rest of my life I am happy.......At first I thought it just to be a bunch of rules....no fun.....but now I see it is the best thing I ever did.....See someones soul always longs for something....Its like we got a God shaped hole in ourselves and we try to fill it with things....for me it was partying and drinking and guys.......but that got me exactly where I didnt want to be.... Stuck.....depressed.......in one word alone.......but i wasnt alone...jesus was always there beside me through everything waiting for me to call out to him.....and when I did it was amazing.....anyway this is just a proclimation letting anyone and everyone know I have just one passion for the rest of my life and that is Jesus......everything else i almost dont even give a rip about.....I see it like this.....Either I am storing up a kingdom reward that will not fade away an everlasting thing that comes when I get to heaven.....or if this Jesus thing is not true, Although I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is true Im just saying for those sceptics out there, at least I lived my life for a purpose and when it is all said and done I will have had purpose to my life even if it was only to achieve happiness......Any questions, arguments, coments, etc......email: [email protected] there and only there will I respond

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This year....bayarea....next year....England......get the drift

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my break is like over!!!!!!! oh well im glad to go back cause i need to stop sleeping so much.....i seriously slept like 60% of the time on my break.......which is down from the 75% i slept last week but still more than half......anyway i am totally excited to see everyone...... i mean the 24 people i am around and work right next to 24/6 ...... and i start an actual paying job on mondays.....which is my only day off but not anymore.....im excited to be going to go to AFROTC next fall....its gonna be good.....well goodbye till next time nutang....although i dont know when i shall return.....mark my words i shall return.....it might not be until june....but it will be...anyways.. congradulations asian_wish for the angel entry.....and keep up with your nutang..... but uh yeah oh im working on a new design for m page as soon as i get back and take a crash course on how to make one........but that wont be too hard....at least not for me anyway...... well i have to leave now..... goodbye... for now

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