welll.......im sooo excited......so ok heres what happened while i was in colorado.......so i called my friend......or i thought i called my friend...when actually i called this other guy that just sounded like my friend on the phone.......so anyways he lives where i live cause he has the same area code.....but back to the story........so we talked for like ten minutes before i figured out it wasnt jeff......but it was actually some other guy named eddie and we talked for like anothe hour and a half and now that im back in cali im gonna meet him tomorrow im soooooo excited.......i cant wait......

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ha ha im bored......welll i know somebody likes me...........and thats definately a good thing....except for the fact that neither one of us want a boyfriend/girlfriend right now but thats cool cause he likes me and i like him and i cant tell him...............its so hard even though i know he likes me i can ead it in his body language and the way he smiles at me and stuff.....like last night i get home at like 11 and all i see is his head pop out his window and then like 30 seconds later he comes outside and lights a cigarette like thats all he was planning to do.......sigh........im trying not to get caught up but it is ssssooooooo hard............omg i dyed my hair again......chestnut blonde.......i love it......it looks ssssooooooo ggggoooooooooooooooooooooodddd....but yeah.....im so excited cause on wednesday i go to colorado.......get to drive a porche.....i still havent learned how to drive a stick shift yet but ill just have to learn how on the porche i guess.....but yeah......i hope i dont hurt the car......thats a beautiful car and i dont want to hurt it........hmmm......im getting a bmw.......well actually its being given to me....by a guy i havent met yet......and i havent met him yet cause he is in the hospital....he got in an accident on his way home from his cabin in tahoe and is now in a hospial in tahoe.......i was supposed to meet him last friday but he is still in the hospital......this sucks.........i cant meet him untill i get back from colorado.......and you know im going to be thinking about him until i get back......but yeah.....i cant wait for colorado and i hope to God i dont get myself into too much trouble......ha ha ha ha ha ......oh me and my other half have this inside joke about rover (thats the nickname for the guy i like that lives next door) and his laugh......and he did it the other day when we were both around and we just started busting up laughing......it was hilarious..........absolutely hilarious....and he looked at us like we were stupid so i dont think he got the fact that we were laughing at him not with him.......but anyways........yeah good times......one day left .....ugh im leaving on a jet plane at 6:30 in the morning.....that means be at the airport by 4:30 in the morning......that means tomorrow im gonna go to bed at like 6 so i can actually get up on wednesday and get ready......well im gonna go now....my sister has some business she is dyeing to tell me so i guess i better listen before she explodes........oh aqnd i got called a ghetto princess the other day.....i thought it was hilarious.....oh well i will talk to all two of you that actually read this later......ok much love for my people......(and im going...what people...ha) l8r

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ha ha ha ....im sooooo mean.......really i am.....ok so i told you guys about my neighbor....and well......i found out that he.........welll......ok.....lets just say im not mad at him at all......lol.......im so embarrassed............i dunno why.....oh yeah im gonna dye my hair again tonight and make it even darker brunette......cause i look good as a brunette or at least thats what im told and judging by how many guys have hit on me since ive dyed my hair ill take their word for it..........hmmm.......im so bored and its fathers day and we are all sitting here having steak and all i can think is......i havent gotten my dad his father's day card yet oooohhhhhhhhhh nnnnnooooo..........aaaahhhh ok sorry i didnt mean to scream in your ear..........blah im out

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people just dont know when to stop.....no i am not talking about myself.......im talking about the guy who walks around my house in his underwear pretending to be my father.......and then he has the nerve to tell me i shouldnt listen to the music i listen to huh......well guess what.....i dont gotta listen......im not gonna listen....ill be gone in a week and 2 days anyways so it doesnt really matter.......... blah.......monkeys, trees, and applebees, all of which are located in the center of what i like to call brain central.

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any ever known someone that talks about how hot they are all the time? i do..........she just went home from spending the night at my house and all i can say is........IM FREEEEEEEEE. yeah all heard this whole weekend was.....my butt is sooo hott....or my tits are so big......or my nipples are so perfect........and it was even worse cause she was desperate and she told every........EVERY......guy we passed this stuff.......and then my neighbor invited me over to his uncles to get drunk with him but he had other motives i think................*cough* my friend *cough* anyways im not gonna talk to him again unless he talks to me first cause i have this feeling that he never wanted to get with me he just wanted my friend.........but i dont care anymore.......im going back to my origional plan.......im not going to focus on any guys for the next year.......im gonna figure out myself first because if there is one thing this weekend taught me its that i havent really decided on important things in my life......i know i need to drop some friends and im just not going to try to find a guy anymore.......if i end up talking to a guy its going to be a friendship first......i dont want to jump into things.........bleh...........finally got the stuff out of my head and somewhat organized.......im so sick of this feeling of.....i dont even know how to describe it......so instead of just sitting here and whining about it im gonna get off my ass and do something.........i have decided to make some changes in my life but im not going to say what........i want to see if i will really do what i wanna do .....in other words i dont just wanna say that im gonna do something just to see what all two of you people who actually read this say.........oh yeah....this is random but my last day of work is wednesday...........YYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!! and i gotta learn how to drive a stick shift........ok im out

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i hate doing this to myself.,.........a whole lotta shit has gone on since i last got on here.......haven't talked to some people that i love to talk to but its not just my fault.....its not like theu have tried to contact me or anything so i figure they must not need a ride any where......oh yeah funny story coming up****.......so my best friend sees this girl i used to kick it with like all the time up at taco bell cause thats where she works.....and was like "hey have youo seen steph around lately" and she was like "no.....whenever she calls to kickit i always have to work and when i call her she always has to work" ha ha so funny....tooo bad she has never told me that and the only time she calls me it seems is when she needs a ride to go see her boyfriend.......so i just stopped trying to call her cause i feel like she doesn't even want to talk to me.......but yeah thats great.......i mean you really find out who your friends are once you graduate.,.......the ones that you talk to over summer.......they are good friends......the ones that still talk to you once they have gone to college.....they are the keepers.......but anyways......im not worried about people......recently i went in ahot tub with my neighbor......we didnt do anything just went in the hot tub......and i told my friend just kinda casually cause she was asking if i knew my neighbor and i was like yeah we were in the hot tub the other day......and somehow it got turned into Steph in ben were in the hot tub making out and having hot sex......anyways my neighbor got drunk when he found out about it and drama went down.........i hate drama........but yeah needless to say i dont tak to that female anymore and my neighbor and i are still friends.......though i kinda secretly hope it escalates into more......anyways......blah.....so yeah i went to see my friend a couple of days ago (she lives in the bay area and ive known her since the 5th grade see i still keep in contact with my friends......) and found out some shit about her ex boyfriend......im just waiting for a phone call and some shit is gonna go down.......enough said on that subject..........right now currently at this exact moment which is 11:47 pm pacific time on june 8 2004 my dad is in the bay area at the hospital being prepared for his transplant surgery in the morning......he is getting a liver transplant......we have been waiting for this for like 8 years now and im so excited......and scared.....i dont know exactly what to think about it......so you know what i am doing right now....im pampering myself.....i just put a masque on my face and filed my nails.....and i am going to do pilates tonight cause i am home alone......i would invite my neighbor over but he left with his best friend (both of which i schooled in a game called pool the other night). so yeah i think im done now just speaking my mind......heh.......funny how shit just happens

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