so like ive been feeling this guy since i met him like 7 years ago and i found out last year that he's been feeling me so we decided to go to another level unofficially.... well yeah that is crap..... cause i started hella feeling him and when i went to go see him (see previous blog) all he did was get drunk.... and then nothing.... so im done trying to even have a guy for now cause they have proven to me that there is noone that are worth my time.... or at least none in this area..... im just gonna focus on my goals and get mine....... and everyone else can go do what they do...

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Ok yeah so this week was horrible...... first of all my work is hella shady they gave me 6 days off in a row.... normally i would love that but im broke right now and i need to make money ...... i need to get into my apartment by august first and i i dont make any money how is that gonna happed..... so then even though iwas mad about that i decided on thursday after school that i was gonna go kickit with my nigga jr.... ive known him for like 7 years you know.... but it was like when i went down to kick it..... which was a four hour drive by the way..... it was a bunch of bull shit....... for realz

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

So last night i went to a party, my first in like a year cause i havent been wanting to party because all of the bullshit. and well to say the least i was reminded of why i dont party like that anymore....... it wasn't cool at all it was a load of crap..... all these dumb ass people acting a fool and trying to get with me left and right like i dont even know. i cant even tell you how many times my ass and tits were grabbed last noght or even by how many people...... im hella cool off of that situation.... and what sucks is my girl (my best friend) she had a hella good time and i didnt and like she hella wants to start doin that shit again and i dont....... but i dunno maybe its just a relapse cause of all the drama that went down with her and this asshole the other night..... idont even know..... all i know is that i hope shes not doing this shit because of what this asshole said..... cause shes better than that...... anyways im done i just had to get this shit off my mind.....

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

so tonight i got to speak at my churches youth group and i talked about galatians 6:7-8 and it was so hard to say cause it was well:

be not deceived God is not mocked for what a man sows that he will reap, if you sow of the flesh you will reap of the flesh corruption bvut if you sow of the spirit you will reap of the spirit life


yeah its hard to understand especially if your not christian but basically i talked about life experience and about how in my first year in Master's Commission ( If you dont know what it is ask and ill do my best to explain) and how i just played a game and really "sowed of the flesh" (ie...laziness, old friends and kick its) and when i graduated my first year i got drunk again in the first week and by the second week had already had sex with two guys......ended up depressed, suicidal, anerexic, and i couldnt sleep at all...... but in my second year (after i broke some walls down....again ask and ill explain) i stopped playing the game and actually read my bible and prayed and sowed in the spirit and now i laugh again, i eat, im not all those things i was before, and basically found life....... but it seemed like noone wanted to hear me....bleh... harsh words i guess....but you know what the weird part was....i had no idea i was going to say any of it untill i said it..... scary huh

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

so the last time i was on here it was 53 days left and now i have 18......whoa....longtime no see...well right now im in LA getting ready to go to sandiego in the morning and well im like bleh....i am like 3rd in line for the shower because there is only one shower and nine people to take them and im jus like sitting here with nothing to do...i cant even pack till after i take my shower....blah! well i start college in 19 days and im totally stoked....yeeeeeeey! ok so now that i got that out of the way i think im gonna get in position to steal second if you know what i mean!!!!! bubye i probly wont be on for another 18 days....AHHHH!!!!!

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

53 days left of this internship and my head has already left.....is that bad.... i mean im gonna finish this thing and not quit but its sooooooo hard to be here right now.... i found a roommate to move in with in september and we made plans to go apartment shopping on monday maybe that was bad...... it definately fed my ummm for lack of a better word senioritis.....i just camt wait to start architecture and get my life going and find a boyfriend and go be me you know without all the crap....anyways 53 days and counting and then...... BLAH!!

Comment! (0) | Recommend!