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ok look so you got hurt because all of a sudden you wanted to be in love with me........ but when i had feelings for you four years ago you wanted nothing to do with me so i buried my feelings...... like i do all the time....i have tons of experience in doing that. I mean i have alcoholic parents of course i know how to get rid of my feelings.....and then all of a sudden you expect me to feel the same when you tell me that you love me four years later..... like i just come right back to you like im some dumb puppy.....no im sorry i dont work like that..... you had a chance with me and lost it and now your pissed because you cant have it again...... I tried to bring up old feelings and i even gave you a kiss to do it....but it just proved to me that they weren't there..... and now your pissed at me..... wtf..... ok fine be pissed and i guess we'lll just throw this six year friendship away its not like i didnt survive without you the past two years. But you want to go and tell me that you helped me whe i wasn't the life of the party and when noone was calling me and so now that i am i should bring you with me because you aren't but you know what...... it was never like that.....ever.....so dont pretend like it was to justify why your mad at me......really you have no reason to be pissed so get off my back. Your not my brother, nor my father and you dont need to "watch me like i am".......... so stop..... i dont care what excuses you are trying to make for this..... i dont care....... much.............

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so i figured out that your pissed because you didnt get to fuck.....and so when i found one that i really like and one that i want to be with and when we went to the room to do our thing you got mad cause that squashed you chances of fucking with me.............. like you really had the chance to anyways right

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Kay yeah where to begin..... i dunno maybe ill do this in storyline that way you can get the whole picture........

We were driving dow the familiar road to pick up byrd, 'i dont know if i want to get him' I thought as we were getting closer to his house..... before we picked him up we stopped to see if Al was home. no. damn. "I really want to see Al tonight cutty" i said to my cousin as we approached byrd standing outside his house. He made a phone call. next thing i knew we were on our way to meet up with sunny and al. when we got to where we were goiong al walked straight up to byrd and it was like a swiss family reunion...... 'wow, this is getting weird, hmmm....' So we kicked it at this stupid females house for a little while. Al was cooking and eating her food. and stealing her wine..... and taking more food with him. 'dumb ass female' I thought to myself as we left to take my cousin back to his house. we decided to meet up with al later. On the way we stopped to pick up my cousin's girl, liz, convenced her mom to let her stay the night with me, and everything was official. When we got to my cousins and the homies were already there, waiting for us. "shit i dont want to be around all them tonight" my cousin said as we pulled into his driveway. we stopped to kick it for a minute while my cousin took a shower and got ready. "damn its already 10pm and it still feels like the morning to me" I said to liz, "well thats what happens when you dont get up until 8 in the evening" she replied. They day started to get weirder and weirder as time progressed. Finally my cousin was ready, it was 11pm and i wanted to be around Al. We told some lie to tha homies and left like it was the thing to do. when we showed up at Al's everything was official: beer, liquor, music, and an equal number of guys and girls. Al didnt waste anytime with me. I was there maybe twenty minutes before he was ready to go to the bedroom. I told him to give me some wine (the stuff he stole from that females house earlier) and lemme drink a little bit first. so he went to get the bottle but really didnt have a corkscrew to open it up with. so he used a knife to stab it and try to pull it out. it didnt work. so he used the knife to push it down into the bottle. but when he did the pressure built up and squirted him in the eye. and he cut his hand, this happened all at once and made me laugh so hard it was ridiculous. so I had like half a glass of wine and and i look over and Al had pulled out. when he saw me look he was like, "i like other people to play with it", and i was really uncomfortable because byrd was right there. So i told Al, lets go in the room. we went and we did our thang. after it was all said and done Byrd wanted to talk to me..... "thats why i didnt want to bring him" i thought. He made me feel bad for doind what i did and then i thought to myself 'fuck you, im a grown woman and ill do whatever i want to do, its not like im fucking everyone, or even anyone besides al.' So i just got out of the conversation and ignored him. My cousin got back with more beer and weed and we comensed to drink and get high. we kicked it had a good time and left.

so that was my night.... and i tried to type it in story but i have the feeling it didnt come out right......oh well.... i said what i had to say.

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so last night was definately hilarious and shitty all at once..... lemme explain..... so i met up withthis girl monica and we smobbed around all night long just hustleing guys because they're really stupid...... well we went to this asain party and stole a fifth of patron silver... it was hilarious.....when we left the house we were crackin up.....then we went and met up with some guys and got some gas money from them and they smoked us out and then we went to my cousins and got dummy drunk.......it was hella funny.... but it turned all bad when my cousin went to drop monica off at home......and i ws left with swift and country who were both drunk themselves......and they were both trying to get some from me at the same time......i dont want to go into details...but lets just say ive never been so disrespected in my life.....

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ok so i told myself that i was going to be single for the next year and yeah im falling for this guy and well ive only really kicked it with him like ten times and the other night we were parting together and well......i was drunk and let crap happen cause i hella like him and i was......well drunk, (girls you know what happens when you drink)........ but i think i F***ED it all up tho cause i dont know if he's feelin me like that and he probly thinks ima hoe but its not that at all, besides that night i havent had any in hella long......but idk.....maybe im just reading into things too much.......see this is why i didnt want to get in to a relationship man......BLAH........i need to go take a shower i feel ewww...........sigh..... i wish i hadn't of F***ED it all up

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k so last night was CRAZY...... remember how i said i wasn't going to drink anymore..... well that went out the window last night cause i found out that i wasnt going to be playing piano full time on a worship band.....actually i was jus filling in for someone on friday so im like whats the point...... so anyways....i drank last night....a lot.....i had five beers and three shots....but you know what....i hella drank beer before liquor......bad news.......that always means throwing up.......always......so i feel sick today.....o and i have dents on my roof from people riding on it.....yes they were riding on it..........i had fun tho.....but i guess me and my cousin left at just the right time....cause the police came through like 15 minutes after we left.......good timing.....well i was hella feelin this guy last night.....and we did mess around...... but for reals tell me why all my cousins friends were trying to fuck with me last night.... horny bastards..... oh well they're funny so whatever.......yeah but that was my night.... how was yours....

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