a night that was supposed to be remembered forever, the last day with friends from school probably, ever.... turned into a day i hope i soon forget about

so many thoughts running through my head, will i regret what i've done? is this a vicious circle of what happened with my ex as well? how do i know? is this another blind risk? i feel uncertain, i totally lost all sense of security, what do i do?

im afraid of sleeping again, the images being so vivid in my head. i try to forget about it, but people i walk past in the street remind me... im afraid of nightmares, though worse yet, it actually happened?

what will my future days be like now that school is over? will it be generally the same? or will there be a dramatic change?

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ÔÚÎÒ×îµÍÂäµÄ•rºò©oÔÚÎÒÉíß…µÄÈË…s²»ÊÇËû

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shitting myself really... lack confidence and some people just dont help... little do they know how much i worry for them when they're all frustrated and scary, i dont even know what to do anymore...

less than two weeks to go...

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school's over but exams havent even started for me
spesh exam on monday im really stressed no matter how much or little i prepare
and so he says he doesnt know anything, and that he can't study at home somehow, but woke up late and couldnt go to the library
fine, i try to help anyway, works for like what.. half an hr maybe? then he goes tunes out and does something else
i ask if hes still working
no response
IM TRYING TO STUDY HERE TOO, IT'D BE NICE TO FUCKING KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE STILL AT IT!
its attitude like that that makes one fail, always saying 'oh i cant do this or i cant do that'
im so frustrated at the moment, not only over my own problems but cos hes not even fucking helping fucking hell

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its already half way through the second week of holidays.. it felt like its only been two days... theres so much to get done but such little time >_<"

disliking the feeling of uncertainty... hope it will get better soon... lol damn the gullibleness, i cant even trust myself to trust people? man, im not even making sense, whatever bleh

less than two months.. then its all over.. good and bad lol

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only just got home not long ago from the formal. it was good. but man, when i got home to undo my hair, which i was rather satisfied with =], i pulled a few clips the wrong direction and my head still hurts!

.. / -.. --- -. - / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - / .. - / .. ... / .- -... --- ..- - / .... .. -- --..-- / - .... .- - / .-- .... . -. / .... . / .... --- .-.. -.. ... / -- . --..-- / .. / ..-. . . .-.. / ... . -.-. ..- .-. . .-.-.- / .. .----. ...- . / -. . ...- . .-. / .... .- -.. / ... ..- -.-. .... / .- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / -... . ..-. --- .-. . --..-- / -. --- - / . ...- . -. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / . -..- . ... .-.-.-

lol doesn't that look pretty? hmm, dad drove us to the formal place. me, my partner, my friend and her partner [also a friend of mine] when we got there, i said thankyou to dad. it wasnt a 'forced' thankyou either. from what i remember, the last time i said thankyou to dad was many years ago. i wonder if that meant anything to him. im not close with dad either. we dont even talk usually, because every time we talk, we end up arguing and fighting.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: uhs 2007 [t]

Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: uhs 2007 [t]