mood: Odd
I've been so busy lately I feel like I'm just running in circles with a blindfold on. I had alot of fun this weekend. We (Marc, Me, Katie, Ben & Patrick) met up at logans for 2 for 1 margaritas and the uk vs arkansas game. We beat them pretty good and as always it was a really good game. It stayed kind of neck and neck until the 4th quater and then we beat them lol. Best kind of game there is! Not to mention those GIGANTIC mugs of margarita's. I had 4. In an hour and we had a beer (or cider lol) before we went. It was bad. Funny but bad. We have alot of get togethers and theres almost always drinking involved but I don't really drink that much. I once went to buffalo wild wings and had 1 mikes hard lemonade and 1 carribean martini and could barely walk out of the resturaunt. I'm sure you can only imagine what I looked like after 1 strongbow and 4 giant mugs of almost pure tequila. Then we decided to go on an "adventure" lol. Katie & I (both TRASHED) decide we are going to go to patricks house with him to pick up, umm...i forgot why he had to go home lol, irregardles we rode with him (in the back of his truck in the middle of the city {{yes its illegal lol}}) to his house. This is where we start noticing that I may be a bit past my limit. We covered pat's mirror in lipstick comments and I think I may have even wrote on his door. Love ya Pat! My Bad! LOL!! I remember patrick carrying me down the stairs to my house bc he thought I would probably break my neck. After there it only gets crazier. Long story short once we got home the activities ranged from dance on the table to karaoke to vomitting. Whoo hoo! Ok not so much on the vomitting but thats probably why I didnt feel horrible the next day. I could never be an alcoholic though. Getting out of control once in a blue moon is fun but thats all I can handle.\
In other news.... I think I may be sick. My girly time is past due almost 3 weeks. I'm not pregnant either. Not only am I very safe but I took a test anyways b/c there's always that .01%. I'm thinking maybe its because I have had all this drama going on around me and thats made stressed, plus where I was sick a couplw weeks ago and had to take all that medicine. I dunno it just scares me a little and it felt good to let other people know.
Anywho...Thats it for now :)

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listening to: The Fish Tank
mood: Better
I remember when I had to see a therapist back in the day and I remember one activity I used to do. Any time there was someone who really hurt or angered me and I wanted to get rid of the negative vibes they made me feel I would write a letter to them. Now it was completely my choice what I did with that letter (I actually gave one to the person) but I generally chose to burn it or rip it up or throw it away or to just save it in a diary or a box or something. Well this time I'm going to write it in here. It will make me feel better to have someone know how much I hate this person. With that said, the letter is going to be to rebecca bc I'm like 99% sure I saw her the other night though I'm pretty sure she didn't see me it still made me realize just how much I really hate this girl and I need to get some of it out. Here goes:

Dear Rebecca,
I hate you so much it makes my stomachs twist into knots at the very thought of you. I hate the way you talk and the way you laugh. You talk like a 13 year old valley girl doped up on caffeeine and stupidity. Your laugh sounds ugly and rude and abrasive. Almost more like a cackle. I hate the way you walk, it's like your always trying to sell yourself to every man you pass. You have no dignity or self-respect. You are a disgrace to females across the globe. I understand that you act so slutty because your insecure but that doesnt justify it to me. I don't understand your need for everyman to accept you, for everyman to want you. I know that ugly girls (which you definately are) are prone to being more slutty but have you ever thought about trying to improve your mind? Improving your mind would be alot easier than improving the way you look. Actually I don't know if it would be. Your face is horrendus and teeters on the edge of looking like a transvestite and looking mis-formed. But your brain is even worse. You have no soul and you care nothing about anyone but yourself. You don't even know how bad you hurt mark. Really you hurt both mark and my marc. But I suppose if you didn't realize how much it would hurt yhour boyfriend to cheat on him with 2 guys (that he knows of) then how would even think how much it would hurt my marc for you to destroy the friendship with his best friend. But even if you did know you wouldnt care bc thats the kind of person you are. And you did DESTROY their friendship. Even when adam ineveitably gets fed up with you and ends up hating you more than everyone else marc isn't going to forgive him when he comes back trying to be his friend. You can live in your own little world and not believe that but we all know its whats going to happen. And lets talk about that too. Why would you destroy all these friendships just to have sex with someone. Oh wait, bc your a slut, I guess that ones kind of obvious. The funny part is how much like his ex you are. You're insecure so it's easier for him to manipulate you and your manipulative yourself so you wont have a problem with his being that way. Your fat and ugly which makes you less likely to cheat on him bc he's insecure about that. Actually I think his ex was more attractive, smarter, a less slutty too so he'll probably marry you. But your as big of a bitch as she was..so you'll probably be doomed to the same fate of having him talk shit about you all the time until he fi nally explodes into a burst of hatred and runs away from you and wants nothing to do with you. That is the day that I hope I hear about. Bc you will get what you deserve as will he. You'll have no friends and no fuck-buddy and neither will he. Ha ha ha. I hate you because you think you hurt me. You don't know me well enough to hurt me and you also werent important enough too. I quit hanging out with you before I realized just how slutty you had become. I told you I didnt want to be your friend and I meant it. I think your a bad person. I think when you die you will go to hell. Which is funny since your family actually thinks that too. You need to get your shit together. You need to improve your personality and your brains. You better work hard on those things because nothing could help your looks except some hardcore jenny craig and some plastic surgery on that awful face of yours. Not being a bitch would be helpful too. Also you had no right to call me fat. The jeans I gave you were my fat jeans. I'm not that big. We weigh the same and you are 6 inches shorter than me. Dumbass. Do the math. I will never not hate you. I hope there will be a day when I don't feel nauseous at the very thought/site of your face. Honestly I hope you get hit by a bus. You are one person the world would actually be better off without. But you would never think that because you think the world revolves around you. NEWSFLASH: IT DOESNT.


Sincerely,
The girl thats everything you only wish you could be
(AKA smart, talented, loved by all her friends, considered attractive by all her guy friends {maybe its because I don't pretend to get drunk and throw myself at them})


Well I feel better :) I didn't even touch her alcholism but I am thinking about writing a blkog about all the alchoholics I know/knew and I'll just save a spot for that there lol.

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listening to: Spa CD
mood: Agitated
You know what I don't understand? People who make their profiles private that are adults. I mean I understand younger people doing it because they dont want to be stalked by a pedophile or anything. And I understand people who do it all the time bc they are paranoid people are stalking them. But what kills me is people who do it to spite someone. Personally I keep my profile public and only put some pictures as friends only (the pictures of my townhouse for instance). It amuses/annoys me how people will put a profile private just to say ha ha fuck you to someone. The way I see it is if someone has nothing better to do than to continuesly look at my profile/blog/pictures for some mention or reference of themselves than the meanest thing I can do is leave it public and let them waste their time torturing themselves lol. I noticed this about 3 weeks ago but just havent gotten around to blogging about it bc I've had other stupid drama around me. I had an arguement with one of my friends over a political veiw point and she over re-acted and was like if thats your opinion fine but I dont want to be your friend. Whatever. Well today I deleted this one girl we both knew on accident. Now the one friend who was made at me had always had a public profile. Now since the fight its private. How stupid? I didnt want to look at her life I just wanted to get our other friends site. Now I'm going to have to call my friend and admit that I forgot her married name and feel all stupid bc she's petty. And I know she didnt block me bc I blocked this one girl and I know she can still see my profile bc she made a comment about spying on it to a mutual friend. I dunno just a stupid pet peeve I suppose. But damn. She won this way but not for what she thought. But I feel better knowing that I can let people see how great my life is and piss them off instead of having to try and hide how shitty it is so I can still feel cool.

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watching: life outside
listening to: The water in the aquarium filter
mood: Very Happy
So I spent all of the day up until this point with my future mother-in-law. We've had our problems in the past (big ones lol) but today we actually got along and enjoyed each others company legitamately. I rode down to danville with her to pick up a present for marc's dad that he doesnt know about. We met up with marc's grandma at the hospital there bc his step grandpa was having some tests done and we were there with his grandma and aunt for at least an hour and a half. Then we decided to take the scenic route back. We passed by shakers village and both of us have been wanting to go there but she cant get marc's dad too and I've had similair luck with marc. It was actually really cool. There restaraunt in the inn was absolutely divine. It was just awesome lol. If you want to more about shaker village click here. Then we had a nice scenic drive home and we were talking so much that we were still in conversation when we pulled up to my house. It was a very pleasent day. I hope this may be the start of a good relationship between the two of us. Anyhow. Thats been my day off. Now I need to try and clean the house a little bit. Actually Im probably going to go play some guitar hero and maybe a little bmx racing with a side of mortal kombat and then clean the house lol.
Yes I'm a dork. I know.
Also...I've been debating on changing my layout. Anyone interested in this one?

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watching: taboo
mood: Happy
Last night was nice. We had a few friends over and wathed the UK vs Louisville game. It was neck and neck and we won!! Katie and I were even yelling, cheering and booing with the boys and a couple of our neighbors lol (the weather was perfect so like everyuone where live had there patio doors open). Nothing better than having some friends over with some beer and pizza and having a good time. It was just an overall nice night. It was great for me bc this week has really sucked. I had the drama with my friend and the stupid crazy slut, marc got scheduled to work on christmas which is going to make it hard for us to be in MS with my family, plus we've been redocorating at work and we just had some advertisements go out so we've been busy to boot, then we found ou tthat the roof on our building is going to be worked on next week which is kind of a pain in the ass for a spa like enviroment lol. Anyhow. It was just really good to relax. I think I may go to the spoonbread festival today. Its in berea but it looks like alot of fun. But we were supposed to go to this tattoo convention thats in town with our friend whose a tattoo artist but I dunno. I really want to go the festival lol. the website is http://www.spoonbreadfestival.com/. Anyhow thats my update lol

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watching: that 70's show
mood: exhausted

So I've decided I'm really tired of drama. I realized today that someone I had once thought of as a very good friend was pretty much the excat opposite. Marc & I have been friends with adam since the first time we met him. This was about a year and half ago. We met him bc he was dating someone and ended up moving in with someone whose friendship is long gone. But adam stayed. It makes me sad because I feel like marc is really losing a best friend and even though he isnt saying it I think he is sad about it. Previous blogs have explained all the drama with the becca girl so I don't even want to go into that but just for those who havent read it she's a girl who i was kinda friends with but now am not because shes an immature drunken slut. With that out of the way...Her and I were no longer friends and she blocked and ignored all of the friends we had except adam. I talked to adam last thursday and he told me he would call me friday morning to let me know if he needed me to leave a key out he never did. I called him that evening to see if he would watch our dogs saturday when we went to nashville but never got ahold of him. He had also said he might go hiking with us on sunday if he didnt come over friday. Yet again never heard from him and we always got his voicemail. We also noticed he had not been online in days. So today when he still hadnt been online or anything I left him a voicemail telling him we were worried about him and to call marc and let him know he was ok if he was mad at me. He never called us back and then I tried to call him and his phone was going to straight to his voicemail so we decided to go to the town where he lives which is like 30 minutes away. I figured I would either see him or talk to his mamaw. We get their and I go to turn in his driveway when I realize becca is there. Apparently he blew us off just to fool around with a girl. And just because we dont like that girl instead of just telling us and giving us a chance to respect his privacy and just not be around her. He assumes were going to act a certain way and just avoids us and lets us worry about him. I think thats really shitty of him.. Here's the email I sent him :


Subject: So......Um I guess I should name this: The last thing
i'll ever say to you..I hope you read it..Im not just
cussing you out lol

Body: So,
I don't even know what to say. I can't believe Marc and I drove all the way out to winchester to check on you because we thought something might have happened to you. I left you a voicemail letting you know we were worried and to at least call marc and say your alive or mad at me or whatever. Instead you let us worry because you put sleeping with someone above your friends. I do find it a little more offensive bc you knew it was with someone we didnt like but you didnt even attempt to say you didnt have our problem with her and see our reaction but instead you assumed you knew how we would act and just blew us off. I dont want you to think this is about who it was. It was about you not trusting us as your friends to respect your life and privacy and letting us worry about you when you were just too busy avoiding us bc you thought you knew how we would react. We both really considered you one of our best friends. Neither one of us would have seen this coming from you. I don't want to fight or aruge with you I just don't want anything to do with you. I want it to be like we never met you.

I think I handled as well I could...Oh well we ahad a backup groomsmen in case some had something come up :) ::::sigh:::: i hate drama

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