So Friday was the hanson concert. It was AWESOME! Here's a few short video's (only one has decent audio because it was very loud in there lol).







So that was sooo much fun! Katie & I had a little near death experience on the way though...A fricking 18 wheeler ran katie and I into the emergency lane on the left of the interstate with less than 4 inches between her door and the concrete barrier and less than that between his trailer and my door. And he didnt even stop and by the time we got back on the road he was driving so fast we couldnt catch up. That sucked. That sucked balls. But the rest of the night was awesome.

Saturday we watched the UK football game. We beat the number one team in the SEC and we were the first to do it this season. Thats right we beat the undefeated champ! We went into 3 overtimes and it was not only crazy exciting but also the best game of the season! Then we had a bunch of friends over that night. It was really fun.

Sunday Marc & I decided what we wanted to do for the wedding. We decided to rent a big beach house and bring out just a few of our closest friends and immediate family. Then my step-dad who had offered to walk me down the aisle since I decided not to invite my dad (see previous blog entry) also decided he wanted to pay for the beach house. We are going to have our dream wedding. And we should be able to buy our own house by febuary. I AM SO EXCITED! Plus we cardved some bad-ass pumpkins last night! I did the ghost, Marc did the witch.



Also I got a kitten last weekend. Not sure if I've mentioned that before. Her name is Miss Betsy and she looks black in alot of pics but she also has a little bit of dark grey tabby to her and a little grey neck spot lol. She also fits in a pumpkin.
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Anyhow thats been my awesome weekend lol!

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So my father has never been the man who would win the father of the year award. He might come close to it because he does such a good job faking it when it comes to my brothers but I dont even get that. Let me explain why I am so pissed here. I was yahoo searching my name earlier (hey I was bored lol) and on yahoo as you type things in it has a drop down menu of possible options. Well I was typing in my name in the drop down menu it said lyndee harrison oxford. I thought that was odd bc thats where I sed to live so I clicked it. Apparently in some media booklet about ole miss's radio annoucers it had a section about my dad and it mentioned he had three children nick josh and lyndee. Ok that makes sense and the media people do all the research so I guess they figured I was kinda important even though I am adopted and a momma's baby and that tends to make my dad and I have a very awkward relationship. Well then I yahoo searched my dad bc thats how I check in on him since we're odd around one another and talking is always very weird. Well on his page for his company he tells about his work history, then about his football history, then about his hobbies and then how he is married and the father of two sons. He neglects to mention that he isnt married to their mother. Oh and he neglects to mention he has a daughter. Thats fucking swell. I had actually started to consider inviting him to my wedding (even though when he got remarried not was I not invited, I didnt even know he was engaged, my brothers asked me why I wasnt at the wedding and thats how I found out). Well Mr. Harry Harrison, Mr. Ole Miss, Mr. Oxford MS, Mr Thinks He's So great...FUCK YOU!

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Man I havent updated all week. I have this really weird habit where I'll get this urge to blog but Im always either in bed or in the car or doing something that keeps me from blogging and then when I finally have the time I dont feel much like blogging any more. Sigh. This weeks been pretty busy. I applied for health insurance. Assuming all goes well I should be covered as of the 15th. Assuming all goes well. I had some work done on my comp and it isnt being quite so satanic and thats always a plus lol. Marc & I had our three year anniversary. We went out to dinner and we had a good time. I'm very lucky to have found him. We are soul mates, he is the person meant for me and vice versa. Its such a relief knowing I've found that person and am out of the dating scene lol. Mom sent us out to dinner for my special day (the one I was adopted on, see previous post for more info). That was nice too. I think all the drama with the skany girl is FINALLY over. Thank God. I won't ever consider it over with the trashy guy though because he lied to me about a good friend and knew that was keeping me from seeing my god children which is unforgivable. I suppose the best way to put it is if I was the only person on earth who could save his life and it was something as easy as pushing a button or walking 5 feet, I wouldnt. But Im also not going to go out of my way to be an ass to him. Wow my contact had been bothering me all morning and it just fell out and apparently it was inside out lol. The Hanson concert is next week. I'm glad I'm finally getting to go see them live. Katie has been swearing since I met her that once I saw them live I would be the fanatic she is. I don't see that happening but I know it means alot to her and shes my one of my best friends so I'm going ot go and Im going to like it. Heck I might even like it just bc I do. I like some of their new stuff I just dont like taylor. His personality, looks and voice irritates me. But I love Issac. We were actually worried because he just had to have emerceny surgery and cancel a couple of shows but they go back on tour the 8th. Our concert is the 13th. Whoot. Anyhow. I bought sims 2 but it was for dvd rom instead of cd rom and now Im having a big pain in the ass about that. But anyways. Thats my life as of now.

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listening to: Water falling into the aquarium
mood: Reflective
The title sounds weird lol. But in all actuality thats what today is. I have officially been with my mother for 16 years. Alot of people may find that strange considering I'm 22...But to me its the only way I could ever imagine my life. October 1st isnt the day the paperwork was official and I was in every sense, aside from genetics, my mothers daughter. It was the day I moved out of the dirty trailer with the rarely present and always neglectful mother. It was the day I pulled up to a house and I saw as a castle. It was the day I went into a house that had food, warmth, happiness, and a whole loving family was there. It was like a party just for me, like I had won a cinderella contest and from everyday there on I would be a princess and I wouldnt be hungry or lonely or hurt anymore. And while I've had my ups and downs its been alot better than I could have ever imagined back then. Its crazy for me to think about how different my life would be if I hadn't been adopted. I see it as the one thing my biological mother ever intentionally did that was to my benefit. In recent years she has tried to come back into my life but I will never let that happen. She is back to being a full time part in my little brothers life and I don't think that she deserves to know him but he is 18 now and it's his decision and I can only pray she doesnt hurt him or hold him back in life. He doesnt remember her like I do. I was 6 when she gave me up for adoption and left him with his dad (he's my half brother) but he was only 2. And his dad was the only thing positive, aside from a picture here or there of my grandma, from our childhood. She had barely anything to do with him until a couple of years ago until she decided to not only randomly show back up to be a part of his life but also his dads and now they are re-married. Its like a bad bad movie. In my eyes my mom is patti harrison (oops I mean wren..she got re-married in june). My biological mother has tried to blame the problems and woes of my life on my mom and that has done nothing but push me further away. I remember the woman she was back then. I'll always remember and I have forgiven her but I will never allow her into my life. I have only forgiven her because its not good for me to harbor all those feelings for her. And the fact that she tried to lie to me about my past like I wasnt old enough to remember just seals the deal. But once a year, on Oct. 1st, I sit back and look at how lucky I was and how blessed I have been and think about the might have beens and think about that part of my past. But tomorrow that part of me will go back to that little dark crevice in my mind reserved for it and it will sit and gather dust until Oct. 1st next year.

Here's a couple pics of me/my family that I joined this day 16 years ago :)


The guy behind me is my fiance'



The guys on the outside are my moms boys and the other 3 are my step brothers

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I was bored and looking through my old pic site and wanted to share with my nutang friends :)

Artsy Me




A little of my photography (some stuff is kinda crappy qauilty bc I made it smaller for this)

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listening to: DreamSurf
mood: Depressed
So today started out only midly crappy. I didn't sleep well due to this cold/sinus problem I've been having. Not to mention I kept waking up all through the night all sweaty. I woke up feeling worse than I have throughout this entire sickness. I got up and took some dayquil and now I feel about like I have without medicine all the prior days but it is still an improvement as to how I woke up feeling. Then I took a second pregnacy test (i took one around a week ago) bc taking in the morning has the best results. It still says I'm not pregnant which leaves the question why is my period almost a month late. I'm glad I'm not pregnant but I can only hope that my period is off because of all the stress and drama I have been dealing with lately. Then bc I woke up earlier than normal I fell back asleep and woke up at 9:40. I have to leave my house by 9:45 to be at work on time. I run downstairs throw on a quick outfit, some flip flops and grab my earrings and purse and run out the door. As I get to my car I accidentally drop my cell phone and notice I have a missed call and a voicemail. Seeing that it was from my mom I checked it while pulling out of the parking lot and it turns out last night my great-aunt(my grandma's sister) died. At this point I'm glad I have no make-up on and drive to work sobbing the whole way. I'm at work now (I got here 2 minutes early somehow) and I'm slowly becoming emotionally numb. I wish I were physically numb bc I feel so crappy. So thats my day so far. Lucky fucking me.

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