Sunday. 1.18.04 2:22 pm mood: fuckin heated! 
shitness! most of you already know or atleast has seen just how much i hate the father, but damn everyday it's just getting worse. every fuckin day i go through the same bullshit with his ass whether he's at home or not. he gives me so much bullshit to the point where my mind is slipping away. at school instead of being able to do work, i can't because i'm too lazy due to the fact that i just wanna get senior over with just so that my ass can finally move out of this fuckin house of misery and drama. i can't live the life i wanna live because i always have someone watchin over my every fuckin move. i have to fuckin lie about so many things to my mom even though the things i do are not anything bad.
i mean shit, even to run errands for my team has to be a lie to my mom, hangin out with friends has to be a lie at times ; * 'oh ma we have practice...' oh ma its for school'* what kind of bullshit life is this? i can't even live the clean life i'm livin as a lie to my mom. i bet u wonder why i have to lie to my mom right? well it's because my dad has sort of brainwashed her into thinking that i could be doin bad stuff such as drugs and all that other shiet. he always brings up "where she going? meet with her boyfriend and do stuff?" i mean shiet! it you fuckin know me like u think you do, then you would know that i'm not even that kind of person.ARGH...shiet every fuckin weekend since the father has been back has been hell over and over and over again. no fuckin freedom what so fuckin ever.
now my mom talks about me goin to UC Irvine. tishhyeah right. like my ass would be able to attend that school. I didn't take no SAT, ACT test at all because i KNEW where my life was heading and once again that was the military, but now..i don't even know anymore. I'm so  lost...i can't decide what to do college-wise. man whatever.. i have so much to say and vent out, but yet i can't say it.
MY LIFE IS HELL BECAUSE OF YOU! I FUCKIN HATE YOUR ASS!
yeh hate is such a strong word and if you know me, i don't prefer it but in this case i'll say it all the fuck i want. I HATE MY DAD argh i don't even consider him a dad. i hate sayin that three letter word. that shit! i have no father. i fuckin dis-own his ass.
arite enough venting..for now.
LATER DAYZ Comment! (3) | Recommend! what have i been up to.... Wednesday. 1.14.04 8:55 pm well now, some of you might be wondering what i have been up to and some of you might not even give a shit, but oh well. for those who would like to know... all i've been really doin is of course goin to school. Besides school, i've been at school practicing for our competition on the 31st of this month up at Long Beach Poly Highschool..hopefully we do great, wait no I know we will. But anyways, finals are next week and I should be hittin the books right? right. It's gonna be hard these next two weeks with finals coming up starting wednesday next week and plus practices after finals. Man is my mind gonna blow up! hmm another thing that sucks is that usually finals week is half day or atleast the three days we have finals, but this year our new faggetass principal thought it'd be cute to make those two days of finals a FULL DAY meaning Finals half of the day and then going to my other classes the rest of the day. Then Friday would be a half day... POOTIE SHIT! argh...
well anyways, today was a rather bullshited day. My morning begins with me waking up at 6:45 because my ass thought that it was SATURDAY? HAh anyways, so my brother and I are late to school. Then...got quizzed on 3 different poems that we supposedly read in class (NOT!)...fourth period...just not in the mood...then fifth period, the damn AI's call me in their office and talk to me about leadership and being a leader (bunch of BS since i didn't say or do anything i was being accused of doing) so I was pretty much bummed out that someone would rat on me FOR NOTHING!! and then 6th period, me already being mad...I was more pissed off when my Econ teacher was tellin the whole class how my school is being over cut on our budget (??iono go figure). to end the day, (since it was a half day today..) I chilled with my bro and JAN. went diff places looked for guide-on stuff , saw a HOT ASS MARINE GUY at LOWE's hardware store and he even talked to me..OohH hahah. he was white, but damn was he hot! haha anyways...then we got caught up in the 5 o'clock traffice on the 15 comin from Friars Road and talked about politics and the government ( hmm don't we sound smart today? hahahah) but it was fun.
**here's a little info on what's goin on and what the guy we call President is doin wit this damn country ...oh and don't forget screwin us (students) over...**
Out of all the damn SAN DIEGO UNIFIED SCHOOLS being under the budget cut, the District decides to cut back $700,000 from our school budget. BUT WAIT! the whackest part about this is that MY school is the only one who's budget cut is that big! All the other damn schools only get a $435k budget cut. I think that's fucked up how my school is the only one who has the biggest budeget cut in the district.
It's so whack because the students already have to provide their own notebook paper, pencil and all that stuff. I mean what the hell is there to cut back on now? the cleanliness of our classrooms? the cleanliness of the campus? I mean shit! Our classrooms barely get swept and mopped..freckin theres like an inch of dust being collected on the damn classroom floors!! OH and another thing for all of you fellow college bound students, there will be a 30% raise on our college tuitions. For example our tuitions for college now is around...what,at the least $24k a year right? well imagine 30% more of that. See and that estimation is only for some students. ONLY rich ass people would be able to go to college and EVEN THOSE RICH ASSES wouldn't need to go to college because they "dont need" college education to get rich because they ARE rich already. The damn system is so STUPID now it's pathetic! ARGh my gosh...and it's all because of "THE MAN" BUSH. I am so glad I will be able to vote his ass out of office and hopefully all of you will too!
Not only did he fuck up with the schools, his freackin "war on terror" shit fuckin killed so many soldiers. man...so stupid. I know some of you might think it's stupid to talk about this kind of stuff on here, but i just had to let yallz in on what kind of president we have running the government. Comment! (1) | Recommend! Saturday. 1.10.04 11:15 pm listening to: nasty boy klick- down for yours
mood: uhhhh
i don't really have anything to be bloggin about. I'm just bored at this moment. uhh lets see...oh here's something, can my dad be anymore of an asshole than he is now or what? for those of you (my friends) who know how my dad is, okay check this out: i told my mom about this car that I wanted that a homeboy was sellin, my mom tells my dad about it. THEN a week later my dad brings up the car subject again and says this; " ask apple about that car that was being sold so we can buy it for her brother.''
When my told me about it this morning, I was fuckin heated! Alright, it might not seem as much of big deal than I'm makin it, but if you know my situation and 'father/daughter' relationship with that guy...it's not all that its cracked up to be. I mean shit, i don't talk to the mofo just to have convo..the only time i talk to his ass is when i HAVE to ask him a damn question...but even that i try to get away from. BUT back to my point, how is he gonna go and tell my mom to tell ME to ask about the car I wanted so that he can BUY IT FOR MY BROTHER!
WHAT IN THE FUCKIN HELL IS THAT?! ARGh i'm still fuckin heated by that shit...ahh anyways, my grandparents >(momz side) are willin to buy me a ride for myself. so it goes to show what kind of father my dad is and what lovely grandparents I have. man i love them to death...
which now brings me back to thinkin to JOIN the MILITARY. as of now, i see no purpose of livin my life here in san diego, goin to 11 years of college here in san diego to become a nurse...once again yes..here in damn san diego. FUCK! why is it so fuckin hard on me? don't get me wrong, san diego is the shit...got the beaches, got my friends here, grew up here, but then again there's more to san diego than that. I want to see the world, i wanna experience new and different things, meet new people...heck even meet new friends. the only thing I THINK that is makin me have second thoughts about leavin Diego and joinin the force is... always having to work work work and only getting to see the people worth seeing for a week or two, if lucky a month and of course the fear or losing my life as i'm out there helpin the wounded...but other than that i'm all up for it.
I just want to get away from my dramatic family life with the so-called father. I don't even know why his ass was accepted back into this household. but watever that's another story...if i just had it my way, his ass was divorced by my momz and now we're livin a worry/drama free life. ahh whoo...i think thats all the "venting" i'm gonna do for now...peace easy
LATER DAYZ
..Loving you this way, I’ll never lead you astray
I knew you want to be og, when you put your trust in me
Down for yours if your down for mine (put your trust in me)
I’m down for yours, if your down with my flow, keep it going
I’m always down for my g’s
Down for yours if you’re down for mine...
Comment! (2) | Recommend! Tuesday. 1.6.04 12:58 am mood: satisfied
listening to: Sean Paul- i'm still in love [haha NOT! i just like the ridim]
arite its 2minutes away from 1 o'clock, but ahh well i had to say what happened today. Well school was same ol' same ol'. It was uniform day and i didn't dress up [oOoh apple's first time not dressin up for it..big wow..watev.] uhh so yeah..blah blah..afterschool had practice and drama with the varsity bros[well now that one was a long talk] and a few tears were shed. after all the booshiet, all was sed n done, we was all cool and agreed on changing the things were goin for the team [the way JV disrespects varsity cuz they're not mean enough] but anyways... all of us left and some of us decided to go n eat out [once again..damn Omar n Genie..heheh love ya!] Omar, Janice, Aaron and I head back to my house after droppin off Renzo and Chelle, so that we could go in one car to Plaza just to eat n hang for a bit with Brody, Tina and Genie. Called up Mark, met with the foo [hah] and just talked about stuff..bought myself a new calendar since i needed a new one for the new year...it was a Good Charlotte one..[heh if u don't like GC, oh well that's ur opinion dont preach to me bout how 'gay' they are] once again JANice went at it with ther FFD *note: five finger discount* or as she would called it "shopping spree" hahaha...dork. but yeh it was fun again tonight...ahh geez...blehh..i'm just jibber jabbing my ass off when i have to wake up early for school again tomorrow. OH CRAP! senior portfolio section is due Thurs along with outline of intent for the capstone project! grrr...ahh imma jit kiddz....
LATER DAYZ Comment! (0) | Recommend! Monday. 1.5.04 6:47 pm listening to: "sunday afternoon"
mood: happy happy joy joy
wattup, que pasa, was geht my dear readers. hmm well as u can see from my subject, today was the first day back to school. Bahh didn't wanna get up and go to school today, bleh..well today was like any other day at school, xcept that classes seemed to go by so fast. but anyways..same deal today..found out that someone from JV threw eggs and keyed Omar's momz BMW! i was mad!! i was like , what the?! dumb kids argh..imma make em pay for that shiet. ahh ..afterschool had a gripe with the team then afterwards went out to eat with: Tina, Brody, Genie, Dennis, Omar, D, Jasmine, Janice @ SALAZARS taco shop in downtown. pretty good mexican grub there and the waitress was cool, haha she hooked us all up with 4 bowls of fresh made tortilla chips [where we got refills of hah]. wat else?..hmm just chilled basically for about an hour or two.
before we left there was this old bum lady who came in and iono i guess she was nutso or something cuz she came inside and then got pissed off talkin about "whatever happened to ladies first?" then walked out the door talkin about mexicans. haha funny thing is, the waitress followed her back outside and they had a little argument. it was kinda scary cuz the bum looked like she was gonna throw punches..haha..then she walked away and stopped at the window behind our table and we got so scared cuz we thought she was gonna throw something at us! hahah..then Genie got to talkin about "what if she got her little bum possie and they all threw thier carts at the windows." hahah funny girl..but yeh then we all payed and waited for eachother just incase the crazy old lady came back. so i was the first one out the door and i was like "runn you guys! before she comes" so i ran out the door then i turned towards the parking lot and saw a white chick walkin and i thought it was the bum and i paused and almost turned the other way hahah...ehh it's one of those u had to be there to see it..it was funny. then we departed and now i'm home hehh.. freakin MARK! hah calls Genie but not I. if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't know Genie's cell numero..bahah..watever dude! but yeh it was fun today.....
oh wait..i fergot. there were these NAVY dudes who came to speak to us in ROTC today and one of them was Filipino...and i was all checkin his ass out hahah but then i saw the wedding ring, so i was like "darn!" lmao..haha kay thas all...byeeee
LATER DAYZ Comment! (0) | Recommend! Sunday. 1.4.04 10:51 pm well damn! Tomorrow is Monday and my ass has to once again start wakin up hella early for school... POOTIE! anyways, today spent most of my time stuck at home again then at around 4:30 i leave to go to my auntie's house then to Terri's. Watched a little bit of the movie " SWAT" and so far i like it...i gotta finish that. uhh then to Terri's house..met up with the troop and left for some JAMBA JUICE..then back to Terri's n just chilled.
Comment! (1) | Recommend! | 
