first off i would just like to say... GOD BLESS to the families of the 9/11 victims as well as TO the victims..RIP.

next: HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY to muh girl SHEila mae and maRIA

okay that's all for today...oh and tomorrow...dinner at HOOTERS. [i don't know why there...but oh well..different atmosphere aye? heh]

LATER DAYZ

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hello my readers. this week so far is really really tiring...i don't kno y when all i do is actually walk around the RO area and supervise. hah..anyways. i'm almost getting dark again. it's kinda boring at basic training. not as much people joined this year compared to MY first year 3 years ago. MAN that the RO area was SUPER packed! anyways...i'm bored. i'm supposed to go buy food, but i'm too tired and lazy.

oh yeah..haha the only highlight of my day after school is when i see the little cuties haha. bryan presa and james doolittle...haha well I think they're cute...so AH! hahah no i ain't tryin to get at no juniors haha... i just admire the way they look! LoL is there something wrong with that? anyways... this morning i woke up with a TERRIBLE stomach ache. took a crap [yes girls take craps too hah] then left to go to school not eating breakfast. around 11 something i text a homeboy who OWES me money from buyin his ass food haha... and he don't have no dang money...SUCKS right when i'm HUNGER TOO! damn...oh well. blah blah blah blah......i'm too lazy to keep typing...i'll probly erase this nonsense entry later on...til next time..

LATER DAYZ

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la la la la la.....*gasp* where am i? i'm stuck in this box...i can't get out. HELP ME help me please.....HEEELLLLLPPPPP! okay okay really this is how i'm feelin. for the past couple of days i've felt like a loser , basically just BLEH. I'm alone at lunch with no one to hang and talk to...at home the environment isn't light on the shoulders. being the eldest and a nice person [not bein conceited] sucks bootie. At home, i don't have much time for myself... i go to school, go home, and take care of my mom [help her out with her problems] my bro [take him where ever he wants to go] and my lil sister [be a 2nd "mom]. And when i do have time for myself...it's so freagin emotional.


I don't get out much because I HAVE MY DUTIES at home with the family especially since the father figure isn't around. When i want to get out...there's no one to really go with cuz they all have things goin on. And when someone asks me to go places or hang...i say 'yes' then afterwards something comes up and i say "i can't" or something like that and what do i get as a response? "as usual u flake out" or "as usual" or "excuses, excuses". That kind of shit really ticks me off!! i may not say anything, but it does. I don't pick to be "A FLAKE" it's just that I KNOW where I stand as the only person in the family being strong for the family. I PUT FAMILY FIRST. So if u don't get that, understand that well, maybe u should try being the oldest of a family where SHIT always happens and you feel like and HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS for others' happiness and well-being. that's how i feel! I'm not like the rest of you who don't have siblings to take care of because you're either the youngest , the only child, or just have it easy and could just HANG OUT, have fun, go anywhere you want to and not have shit in the back of your mind to remember.

yannoe somtimes i get pissed at myself for being tooooo nice, caring for other people's well-being, thinking of their situations, helping THEM with THEIR problems, making things easier and less of a hassle for them...that when it comes to me, i don't get the same attention, yannoe it's not that i want it, but i think i deserve the same kind of attention and help that i give. ANY ONE can confide in me, talk to me, etc. i'm happy to be of help, but sometimes it seems to me that I GIVE MY ALL to everyone and anyone who needs a friend and when i need it, there's no one that recognizes that I TOO need someone to talk to me, someone for me to confide in without me having to say "I feel like shit." or "damn i hate this" or shit like that. AHHH watever, I feel as if i'm just whining and whining.

ALL I ASK FOR is for anyone and everyone to UNDERSTAND ME, who i am, where i come from and how it feels to be in my shoes.

I don't know how else and what else I HAVE TO SAY for YOU to undestand.

so if anyone is gonna ask me to hang and then be dissapointed if i reject the invite and call me a flake or just have something shitty to say about it, then don't bother to ask.
i'll say this now for the future: THANKS ANYWAYS with a smile

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alright! got through the second day of school. i was less tired, but still kinda sleepy so imma sleep earlier today maybe 11:30 yannoe still gotta watch FAMILY GUY. heh anyways. School in general is all good, but during lunch it's kinda whack. I MISS MUH GIRLS and i can't seem to find where they all are. I mean okay so far i've seen each one of them but to say our occasional "hello's" that's about all. BUT i did chill with trisa today at lunch..good to see her. damn yo..see this? i'm already missin muh girls and we all still go to the same school...how much more when we out?! mayn imma be so deng miserable!! i kno it sounds kinda weird for you guys to read this but i kinda miss anna. i wanna see how's she's doin atleast..blehh. i gotta go to school at 5:45 tomorrow just so that my bro can change his schedule. lines are hella long..6:10 am it's hella long already n crap. ehh..i guess i'll edit later on..
LATER DAYZ

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Whooo!! damn...today was the first day of school once again. For some reason i was scared to be at school this morning heh. I was originally supposed to change my first and second period, but the lines were hecka long and i thought to just five it a try even just for today. Soon enough it was time. haha i walked into the ROP classroom and sat there. knew a couple people so i was like..okay the people part is aiight. so i sat throught the whole class.2 deng hours yo?! anyways..it was pretty kewl. so after that..went to all my other classes which were okay so i'm pleased with what mr anderson had to offer me haha. and once again my pal ELEONOR is in my english class..YAoZuHh!! good times this year...hopefully this year IS kick back mostly. DIDN'T GET TO SEE MUH GIRLS today..only saw SHE, TERRI, JEE n TRISA...heh. BACK IN RO ONCE AGAIN! haha YES i know i'm an RO head but whatever..its the only place i can contribute my hidden bitchiness hahahahaha. i guess that's all for now i'm freakin beat...maybe later. LATER DAYZ

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waddup people. i've been lazy these past few days to post anything and sleepin a tad bit earlier than the usual. anyways. friday got my cell..which took freagin 2 hours..my dad just had to make it difficult , but watever..i got it. saturday kinda went shoppin. bought shoes..the brown n creme colored ones..the one that i've been wanting since it first came out. OMG! i went to journey's to get dem shoes right..and i saw these chucks that had silk fabric and it was like a chinese fabric! damn i went nuts!! i was contemplating on which to get...but i decided to just get those later on...darn! coulda been the first one at school to get that..hahah anyways. planin on goin shoppin a bit more today [sunday]..then maybe if i get home early..TRY to hang wit gerino and brah. yeahh.. since school IS about 2 days away. DAMN IT! well yup those are my plans and i'm stickin to it..well i'll TRY atleast. till next time
LATER DAYZ!

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