listening to: Whispers of Life

I woke up fairly early this morning… 5.30AM, roughly, the Muslim prayer (for the lack of word for it), was loud and clear in the chilly morning air. I woke up from a dream, one which kept me up after that thus leading to this. This is the first time I woke up this early since I came here. The second time seeing the sun rise, since the first time was me staying awake for Harry Potter. I wish I have a place where I can admire the rising sun but sadly, I can’t do it here. All I can see is a portion of the sky from the door leading out to the laundry area, since I’m sitting in the living room right now. I can’t open the curtains in my room, where I’m certain I would be able to admire a much bigger portion of the sky, Olivia’s still deep in her slumber. They sky is so huge and beautiful, it makes me feel happy, it comforts me, I know that no matter where I am, the sky would remain the same.

I came to conclusion after reminiscing the past and thinking of the near future, I am a fairly indecisive person. If I ever come a cross two things that I want but I can only choose one, in the recent case of either buying a new phone or a new digital camera, I couldn’t decide which to buy –even now. Maybe you guys have noticed that too… Though there is so much one can advice another on things yet it all comes down to that person to make the decision. It took me one hour for me to decide of I should wake up and blog about this. *snorts* I’m really that indecisive.

Mother booked me a flight back home on December 2. I suddenly feel like asking her to cancel it and stay on till they come down KL in mid December. I wonder if it can be done without causing her to lose a single cent, I guess that won’t happen, right? I remember Ms. Woi asking if everyone would be free for the first week of December, I’m the only one who can’t make it, because of the flight. There would still be the MMC (movie making club) shootings (for the lack of a better word for it) for it is quite obvious that it won’t be finished before graduation, on December 7. So, I woke up, and started thinking, if I were to be at home, I’d be coming online, maybe go play tennis or hang out with those who I can call friends from high school, just wasting time away… What’s the difference if I were to be there hanging out with those who are the MMC (Suyin, Aaron, Paul, Stephanie, and some others)? There are big chances that I might not be meeting them anymore later in my life for some of them are graduating. Buddhi and Kethi are also leaving. I remember having told Sean, there are some people who are meant to just leave tiny prints in your life, people who doesn’t really matter. Even if they don’t matter later in life, they are a part of my life now and that’s what matters. I guess that thought only applies to those who make you feel bad.

I guess because I liked those I’ve met here, that’s why I’m feeling this way. I really like going to class because of these people, unlike before where there are only a handful of those I look forward to meeting everyday, while I dread the rest, in high school. I guess this is the main reason I want to get a new camera a.s.a.p., to capture the memories made with these people before they fade completely out of my life. I never felt that way back in high school, I guess as someone like me gets older, I either turn into an 8 ball (Maxie called me an 8 ball the other day) or I turn more emo by the day. LOL! Or maybe it was because I talked to Eng Wei, who surprisingly was super quite for the past few weeks.. Made me feel so glad I could be there for my friends who need my ear for a moment or my shoulder to cry on. Maybe I should just call Ivan to check and see if he really is going to Singapore so that I can ask him to buy me a Sony T100 or T70, both of the looks awfully the same, only that one doesn’t have a touch screen while the other has but one is older and more expensive than the other.

I don’t know what I should do. All I know is to whine and about it. I guess that is what it means when we are told to live life to the fullest, so that we’re able to learn all sorts of things from those who are meant to disappear from our life; make the time meaningful and not regret a thing. I’m not regretting my way of life till now for I have suffered from the hands of those I call friends. It’s just that life feels so great, I regret not having anything to keep the moments frozen in time.

What a great way for me to start looking at things differently. I probably will revert to my bitter old self in no time. Still after it's all said and done, I still don't know what I should do. And happy one day late, first anniversary to me here in NuTang. Doesn't sound as cheerful as I had in mind..

Hugs To:Xboyz, ranor, LostSoul13, renaye, von-nation, Toowit, and larceling

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No, it's not the anime or manga type of nosebleed.
I'm yet to see someone who is able to give me that kind of a nosebleed.
No, I'm not having some health problems either.
Don't worry, I'm not going to die soon or something, I know some of you are hoping to see me drop dead at anytime.
I'm just having minor nosebleed(you get blood with your frozen mucus) due to the cold and dry air.
Why in the world would I get nosebleed due to cold when I live in a tropical country??
Because the A/C is on 22 degree celsius every night.
Yes, my roommate has officially lost it. I have no idea why. She says it is because when she wakes up in the morning, the room is warm. I don't see a reason why waking up to a warm room is a problem. After all the vent is still angled to blow more towards her side of the room. She's even having flu and a terrible cough right now! Oh gosh.. I have never had a major nosebleed before I mean blood has literary never flowed down through my nose before. I hope I don't fall sick too thanks to her.

If you guys are wondering why am I updating so much lately, it is because I feel like blogging and remembers what I want to share with you guys. And... I got a facebook account!! Is there anyone I can add? It seems much better than Friendster but I don't see much of a difference, just that more of my classmates from English class are there.

Ok, time allocated for procrastinating is up. I'm off to finish my assignments.

Hugs To: ikimashokie, Katrina, jolenesiah, invisible, and LostSoul13

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listening to: Christina Aguilera - Reflection

For Halloween... I dressed up as Bella Swan on a normal school day... Which means.. whatever I wear to school everyday XD Haha!! There are a couple people who dressed up today. It was funny. I just love English class a lot!! Minus the assignments and tests, that is. Anyway, I do wish it wont end. Suyin was a gothic. Looks awesome, though I didn't cosplay Linali from D.Gray Man for some lame reason that I don't have boots(Linali wears boots all the time) and I lost one of my rubber bands so I couldn't tie two pony tails like Linali. So what are you guys dressed up as this Halloween??

Okay Halloween aside.. I seriously I don't know why I feel guilty for lying. Maybe because they are much nicer than a majority of people from high school. I would say, life goes on like usual even if I don't go to prom, still I'm evading Niniek and Tse Leng because they are incharge of selling prom tickets, something I've neglected to mention in my previous post. Thank god I need not lie to anyone of you guys. I just remembered that I haven't paid my mother for Eclipse yet. She didn't tell me how much is it because I used her creddy to buy it from Amazon so I forgot about it too. I have to remember.. or maybe I should just conviniently forget about it... Yea, second option is better XD

I can't wait to get home. Yes, I changed my mind and I am going home from the 7th to the 10th of November. I'm dying to try to play some songs with the music sheets I recently downloaded. Still there are some problems lying ahead with my planning to go home and it's getting really hard to resist that temptation to just go grab Subways.. Sigh.. And no Baskin Robins for me this month.. T.T

Hugs To: renaye, bing bean, Suyin, LostSoul13, ikimashokie, Katrina, jolenesiah and invisible.

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I've been telling a lot of lies lately. It's not that I want to but how else am I going to get out of situations which I know I won't be able to if I do not lie? It is not that I want to lie, for I know karma is happily piling up all the small bad things I'm doing so that when it all falls down on me it can say "In your face!"

The one thing that is making me lie all the time is Prom. My friends are not letting me go on the prom issue. When I bumped into Aaron this morning, he asked me if I'm going to the prom. Niniek, Tse Leng, Regina and Royce, prom.. Why can't they just take NO for an answer?? Well, what should I do? I hate feeling out of place, isolated, outcast, and the list goes on. I may not feel it so much because I don't have the same people in each and every class unlike back in high school. Aaron just went like "So are you going to prom?" I thought he would forget. I don't even know why he is quite persistant on that topic too. Sigh.. I'd go to prom if Edward Cullen is taking me to the prom. I am not going to go alone, or with Royce for that matter for Royce... I just have a feeling she'll ditch me. Well I'll admit that I don't want to just tell them that I think it is lame and I have much better things to do that go to prom. It sounds a little rude for me to say that. I know my comments would always get me in trouble so I'm keeping them to myself, so that's why I am lying, though half of those lies are true.. just not in the situations I put them in.

Oh talking about Edward Cullen.. God, if you are there, please give me someone like Edward Cullen, better still if you give me Edward Cullen, I don't even care if he's a vampire. What brought this? Glenn was teasing me for talking to Su Yin who was sitting beside Marshal. Jeez.. Why can't people just get it that I would NEVER like that guy? I am serious.. And I told Glenn that I'd take Aaron over Marshal at any day. When I told Su Yin about it.. she was like "Do you not have any other better candidates?" Jeez *roll eyes* I don't go around trying to spot cute guys here. All I want is to gain knowledge and have fun. I don't want to be tied up with someone and then think about them all the time. I know it's nice to fall in love, I just don't think after all my lovely imaginary handsome and cute and wonderful guys, I'd fall in love with a real human anytime soon... or maybe not.

Still I don't want to go to prom and I will spend that 100 bucks to go home during the holidays! Yeah!! But it still doesn't make me less of a big liar.. Sigh.

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Hey guys!! I wanted to update earlier but yea, things came up. So things are getting nicer in school except that I got the worst way to start my Monday to Thursdays. Bob Lim, that new accounts teacher I had is really really annoying!! He spent an hour discussing question 1 a and b for the previous test on monday over and over again, with his talks of famous people in the middle. I had to ask him 3 times to go on with questions 1c and question 3, which are theory questions, I suck big time in that section, before he actually gave us the answers for those questions. Then he goes back to question 1 a and b and his bloody talk! I nearly, so very very nearly, walked out of class today. Damnit! I have NEVER felt like walking out of class this much before.

Well, prom is coming up on the 1st and my friends are bugging me to buy a ticket and go. As I always tell myself, proms are nice if you go with the right people. What's the point if you spend nearly 100 bucks, which is equivalent to one week's food money. Furthermore, I need to dress up for prom, which is going to cost money too. I would love to go, because a number of people I know will be going but what's the point of making yourself feel more out of place and friendless. Niniek was being stereotype when she said "Oh come on, you come to Sunway!"
So what if I go to Sunway? It does not mean that money is not an issue for me. Money is indeed an issue for me and I don't think that I'd be having fun if I were to spend that much money either. I could have the same amount of fun sitting here in front of the computer talking to Sean, Estrella and Maxie and everyone else. Or I can spend that day roaming around which will cost like half the price. I can also hang out at Estrella's place, though I don't really think it is a good idea. So I told a bunch of lies.. Lies, lies and more lies.. I hope my pants don't start to burn. And I don't think I'd like the ridiculous Fergie, Akon and whoever else songs they'll play. I will NOT succumb into PEER PRESSURE!!! RAWR!!!

I have a number of assignments due in the next course of 2 weeks. I guess I won't update much, unless I really want to. I promise to be here and lurk and leave some comments whenever I can.. Oh! Would anyone thinks the topic of fishes in the deep sea will sound interesting for a 10 minute presentation? That is the second part of my English ISU, do a 10 minute presentation which relates to the book I read, Life of Pi, and I have no idea what I would do until I remembered this part where it was discribed the rainbow colours emitted by the dorados before it dies.. What do you think??

Hugs To: bing bean, LostSoul13, theZEBRA, renaye, Dilated, invisible, THe-Muffin-Man and Xboyz.

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I am lazy at the worst time of the week! Maybe because when my parents we down here, everything was hectic since I'm staying in the hostel and they're staying at Uncle Aundrey's place. Why I didn't stay with them? Not enough space.

Anyway, so I'm failing to multitask! What?? Multitasking is the thing I'm best at! I can do up to 6 different things at a time and suddenly.... D.Gray Man (a comic) got the best of me. I just sat here, in front of the computer, reading it.. and of course, anxiously checking my email to see if Mr. Mark, my mother's friend, has gave me his feedback on my essay. His last comment was "you got to work on your paragraphs". Ok! Paragraphs, here I come.. after I finish reading D.Gray Man.. that is.

Ugh.. I hate reading ongoing comics.. for I need to patiently wait for the next chapter and as many of you know, patience is not one of my virtues! I wonder why must I find a good comic to read at the time when I'm most busy.

I've decided to not go home during the Deepavali holidays--yes, Malaysia has quite a number of public holidays-- because I think I should work on my Accounts ISU then. I can't believe I got that assignment a month ago and I've not even finished 1% of the work. I need to buck up. Though, English assignments are more important as I need to get higher marks for my English.

Talking about English.. I so need to finish Harmony Silf Factory today, I have a test about it tomorrow. I've read the books many times but there are still some details which I'm missing. Sigh..

Oh! I have so many things that I want to tell you while I was busy reading D.Gray Man but I don't seem to remember them anymore. I'll post when I remember. Take care people!

Hugs To: renaye, Xboyz and invisible.

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