The good, the bad and the ones in the middle
Monday. 12.25.06 8:40 am
Hey people, Merry Christmas!! I've came back earlier than I'm supposed to so I've decided to spend my day with you guys since I don't hang out with my friends anyway.. Let's just say that they don't ask me out and I dont ask them out too.. Anyway, let's start with, The good stuff:
I've read the book Twilight, twice.. yes, twice because it's been sometime since I've read something else other than the Charmed series and I had trouble remembering what happened when.. But I've learned lots of new words.. hahaha!! I've bought the hard-cover version of the book New Moon which costs me RM62 while the paper back version of Twilight for RM32. Well, don't be surprised, books here in Malaysia are expensive.. and most of us rather not read or read only books at the libraries. It's kind of hard to find good books at the library nowadays. Well, I love hard cover books because no matter how you read it, you won't get those lines at the side of the book like the paperback ones. That's why I rather spend twice to three times more for a hard cover book though the paperback ones are so much more cheaper and hard cover books are much easier to keep because you don't need to wrap them in the plastic so that the ends don't fold. I love to keep my books brand new. And sometimes I borrow books that I already have from the library so that I don't accidentally ruin my books. XD Well, I'm going to start reading New Moon and I can't wait for Eclipse to come out...Tell me when it's out and I'll start stalking the book stores and buy it even if I need to go to work for the money. Oh right, I bought the second last copies of Twilight and New Moon from Borders bookstore at Queens Bay Mall, since I can't find it at MPH or Popular in Gurney Plaza.. *jumps around in joy* Ying Sean got me Kyou Kara Maou OST as Christmas present from Taiwan.. Thanks a lot!! *hugs* Er.. hehe.. your present.. is on your way..
Next, The ones in the middle:
Well, my holiday was rather boring.. but thanks to Twilight, I stayed at home, stuck my ass to the couch and never got up till it's time to eat, bath and sleep.. by that time my ass is numb. I'd say.. since this book isn't made into a movie yet, I'm free to imagine how Edward look like.. haha unlike Harry Potter, I watched the movie before reading it so Harry's face is automatically Daniel Radcliff's. I hope, if they ever make this into a movie, they will chose the characters nicely as described in the book or else I'll damn to movie like what I did to Hana Kimi's Taiwanese series.. I still cringe in disgust whenever I remember about that. Well, I'm not a Christian therefore, Christmas is not a celebration for my family.. so it's kinda boring. The next festive season, I won't even have Estrella-chan around to keep my company. Er.. There aren't much Christmassy movies on TV this year, I wonder why.. The only place that feels like Christmas is really here is at the shopping malls. Nothing much are there actually since I've done shopping when I was at KL.. So walking around in shopping malls are boring. I'll be taking my drivers licence soon.. will be attending the course.. I've decided to perfect my English before venturing into other languages thought I'll be picking up a little Japanese from the animes I'll be watching. I wonder why aren't there Kyou Kara Maou anime DVDs even in Taiwan.
And now, The Bad:
Well, it's about my mom again. She now managed to get my grandmother to side her and do all those "you should go to college in January" talk. I mean WTF? You said it yourself that I should tell you if I don't agree with whatever you've planned so I've told you and yet you can't let go of it. So.. here goes the conversation
Me(telling my brother): You're lucky that you don't have someone
forcing you to do things that you don't want to do.
Mom(looks up from sappy romance novel): Yet you get good results for everything I forced you to do.
-I ignored her and continued reading.-
Grandmother: Your friend isn't up here this time?
Me: Which friend?
Grandmother: The one who came and fetched you out the last time.
Me: Oh.. Estrella-chan? She's busy preparing for her National Service..
Mom: At least people are more polite than someone
Me thinking: WTF? I didn't do anything to her..
Mom: Unlike someone
who raises her voice to people older than her.. empty tin cans(the poor ones) makes most noise..
Me thinking: ... WTF is that for?
Grandmother(to my aunt's girlfriend): Yea, you never see those rich kids disrespecting their parents. Those poor kids are the ones making most noise.
Me(obviously can't take it anymore): You don't know my friends therefore stop comparing.(Stompped off while thinking, fine.. you want me to be like them don't you..)*started sending text messages to Estrella-chan*
Me: *Ignoring my mom while eating breakfast*
Mom: *looking for some reason I don't know why*
Me: *finished eating, washed the plate and sat down reading*
Me: Why are there anchovies in the soup?
Mom: Because there are no pork.
Me: .. Jeez.. *starts eating*
Mom: Just because I kept quiet, it doesn't mean someone
can be disrespectful..
Me thinking: This is how Estrella-chan at home.. you can't even take it for a few hours and you ask me to be like her. You're lucky that I don't do things behind your back.. There are things you don't know and you'll never know. *Ignored mom, finished lunch and walked into aunty's room*
Well, that's pratically all for now.. Sorry, I just love to whine.. Now I wonder what am I going to do without Estrella-chan who's there almost all the time I need her. *sigh* I'll be off reading New Moon. Merry Christmas!!
Hugs to: jolenesiah
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Thursday. 8.5.10 12:18 pm
Debussy - Clair de Lune
I don't feel like sleeping yet but I know that I should go to sleep soon. I thought I'd blog so that I can to to sleep much easier.
There is this video on youtube by bubzbeauty on what your acne tells you through where you get it? I am getting a lot on my chest area which is said to be due to stress. It is really, really good to know cause despite what people think, that going home (for those who goes elsewhere to study and don't live with your parents for most parts of the year) is very relaxing and stress free. Not for me. Not at all. Despite it being easier when it comes to food and not having to share a car and things being cheaper, I am not free of stress here. It is suffocating at some points because I don't get to decide if I'm following out, I just have to or I'd be "ungrateful". I think that is also why I get insomnia when I am at home. I can sense it when my mother wants to have some kind of talk with me. Every. Single. Time.
Quoting Katy Perry from her song Thinking of You
'comparisons are easily done, once you've had a taste of perfection'. That is why sometimes you can't just 'get over it'. Imagine, you have the perfect getaway somewhere and all you want to ever do is go and do that again. Until you find another place to replace it, you won't just stop talking about it right?
My best friend's ranting and I am in on it with her.
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Thursday. 7.15.10 4:33 am
DO you ever want something so badly but the moment you have it, you don't want it anymore? Or you've worked yourself so hard to get that one thing yet you get everything else but that?
I get that.. not all the time but only for things that I've chased with all that I have. Take this holiday for example, I've been chasing it for a good year 8 months and now that I am on holiday, there is a lack of happiness that accompany it. It doesn't feel like much has changed at all. I actually prefer to be going to classes and seeing my friends and have them make me laugh, telling me to chill and pulling pranks on other people. I work hard to get good grades but the harder I work the worse my results will be.
Now that I am on holiday, I am expected to go home soon. Yea, I don't quite want to go home where I have to be mindful of the things I do and the things I say. It's quite like the one place I don't want to be anymore. Yes, going home is wonderful yet infuriating cause I don't want to go home to have being compared to someone else just because they are better hypocrites than me. I don't want to go home to be told that my freedom is now even more constricted than ever.
I have to say independence does not mean freedom. You can have freedom but you may not be independent and vice-versa. For those who have obtained both freedom and independence, good for you because it means that you can draw your own paths and do things that you want. Although some of you will continue to blame others for your failure because you are too afraid to gamble anything at all, I will say that life is the ultimate gamble, each decision you make is a gamble and even if you're not a gambler as I am, it doesn't really matter because either way there there will be something different in your life.
I need a change in environment, something that is not where I am now and where I am going to be in a week or so's time but with the constricted freedom that I have, there is not really a place that I can go. Oh.. I can't wait to finish studying, get a job and be free. Although things have not been going according to plan but at least then I am abosolutely free to do what I want and go places that I want to go. I have been independent and I am sure that won't ever change.
In the spirit of not getting the things I want, I'm going to try to not be so serious cause it seems that things always, always are better when I just not take it seriously.
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Wednesday. 8.11.10 10:47 am
As the song sung by The Beatles goes: Love... Love... Love.. LOVE... Love.. Love.. looove....
Love is a word that can be associated with many things, human and non-human. I for one, love chocolates with passion.
Love can create hate... mostly because when you love someone so much and yet that person doesn't love you back. If you don't let go, you get frustrated by the day and that love for someone will then turn into hate for someone. It's the same case as having your heart broken. First cut is the deepest.. and it is the one cut that could change someone; from a believer to a non-believer, from an optimist to a pessimist.
Some people, they don't love themselves enough so you get low self-esteem people who walks around as if they don't deserve anything and sooner or later, that self-esteem will turn these people into one of the most skeptical people in the world. Yet.. these skeptical people, they do have something they love but these things may be an animal, their plants, their hobbies or 2D humans from comic books or movies. It can't be blamed because they still believe that they are not worth ANY human connections with real,live humans. It is sad.
Some people gave their hearts to someone, in return to have it broken and crushed. These people.. the sad cases are those who told themselves: no more, I don't want any of these so I will not fall in love again. I don't believe in love. These are the kind of people whom I think to be 'unfixable'. Which means they cannot repair themselves so they just stop looking so that they don't get hurt. What are rebounds for??!! The fixable portion of these people, will fix themselves up and get back out in the field. Maybe will get gunned down a few more times but they'll manage.
I was watching this Mandy Moore movie (not A Walk To Remember) a month ago.. I cannot remember the title (and I'm lazy to google it) and the first thing I heard about love is "people think that they are looking for similarly broken people... but they are not". I was laughing really hard at this and thought.. love can make or break a person... and this guy clearly is one of the unfixables... until Mandy Moore came along and 'fixed' him.
Everything deserves a second chance, even love.
For me, I don't go looking for love because I have enough on my plate right now due to my love for my family, I don't quite need another guy to mess up my life even more. But.. when love comes knocking on my door, I'll let it in... probably.. depending on how cute love looks like XD
My fb status was "Love only comes, once in a while. Knocks on your door, and throws you a smile" a few days ago and I got this reply "That's when you whip out an AK47 and gun the sucker down! RAWR". ROFL!!!
Anyway, where does this post come from? A conversation with my friend who said "I doubt I will ever find someone who will accept me with all my flaws". Do you agree with her?
I'd like to believe that no matter what your look on love is, there is someone out there who will love you for who you are, flaws and everything. That person might be loving you already and you're not seeing it because you are not letting yourself see it. Just don't let fear stop you because if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger.
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He's Just Not That Into You
Saturday. 9.11.10 8:07 am
Yes... I'm talking about that movie. I think it has become one of those movies that I can watch over and over again cause I just start laughing at the cliches.... Like Pride and Prejudice.
I mean, just because a guy is being nice, it doesn't mean that he is being extra nice thus he is into you. If a guy wants a girl, he will do everything to get her. So people, stop teasing me like crazy. Nothing out of the ordinary is happening here... I know I give you guys a lot of satisfaction from teasing me (my reaction to the teases) but please tease me on something else. Oh wait.. maybe it is because that is the only thing that you guys can tease me about therefore you guys are doing it! Okay.. fine.. I forgive you guys.
Funny how I'm doing this like they are reading this. Maybe they are. After all, its so easy to find your way here. Just google my name.
Oh btw, if I die tonight, I'm dying a happy girl cause I have satisfied my long craving for Miso soup. And to add to that, I got to eat Salmon. And on top of that, the price is cheap. Damn. I love that place.
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Friday. 5.4.12 10:45 pm
Curiousity is a form of interest but it is not exactly the interest in "are you interested?"
Somebody may have piqued my curiousty and now I feel quite playful but it doesn't mean I'm interested... Intrigued, yes.. After all, random weird things happened and it is only fit that I am curious and would like to see what happens if I do things out of the norm, eh?
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