Saturday. 5.17.08 11:25 pm
Sometimes I want to curl up into a fetal position and rock myself back and forth weeping until everything bad has just stopped.
Drama drama drama all of this drama!
Half of it doesn't even have to do with me, but I can't help but feel so FRUSTRATED with everything everyone is doing around me. It shouldn't even effect me. It shouldn't even bother me.
But these people are my friends. And I want them to just...find peace. Forever.
Ahh, but I'm not so sure a simple "peace" even exists. Maybe in Heaven, if there is one. Which I hope there is, because it sounds beautiful. But high school just poisons everyone half the time. I kind of want to just fast forward. Speed up, don't slow down.
When it's finally worth it again, then I'll slow down.
Friday. 5.16.08 10:49 pm
I am so...unhappy, right now.
Because I can't do anything right anymore. I can't make anyone happy anymore. Especially not myself. I can't write anymore. I can't concentrate anymore. I can't work anymore. I can't talk to anyone anymore. I can't have someone to fall back on anymore. Apparently I screwed up too much, and too much was finally enough.
When you're in a bad mood because someone is mad at you, and then they say a chance of forgiveness is unavailable, of course you're going to feel worse.
It doesn't phase them. And if it does, then they're wrong for purposely trying to treat you like shit.
You know what. Screw my happiness. As long as I'm able to keep everyone else happy, who cares?
I actually like to see other people happy. Whether anyone wants to believe me or not. And I actually feel bad when someone has told me I've done something wrong, whether they're right or not.
Friday. 5.16.08 7:23 pm
Thursday. 5.15.08 8:28 am
Tuesday. 5.13.08 6:59 pm
I figured anyway.
At least it's not as bad as a break-up.
Ugh, school is soooooooooooooooooooo over-whelming right now D:
Actually, everything is.
I. AM. EXCITED.
Sunday. 5.11.08 2:42 pm
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