Disregard that last entry.
Wednesday. 9.17.08 5:32 pm
I am so confused what's going on right now.
We go out but, blah. I am so confused :S
I do believe I have failed 3 quizzes this week. And I take this huge test tomorrow.
NOT GOOD X.X
Change your mind.
Tuesday. 9.16.08 5:50 pm
I had a feeling, and my feelings are usually right.
My boyfriend and I broke up.
I'm sure this is something you guys would all LOVE to hear about. Not really. But I'm going to write about it, still.
I guess I won't talk about the breakup through the whole blog, for it hasn't exactly officially happened, yet. Basically he'd been acting strange for a few days. His text messages were off. (I know, they're just texts, but I can usually tell) Well, finally, I posted a blog on Xanga saying that I over-think and worry too much. He saw and asked me what was wrong. I told him that I felt like something had been bothering him lately, and that I could be completely wrong, but that I had been getting a strange vibe from him.
Here are the two things that made me know FOR SURE that it was a breakup.
1)He replies, yes, something has been bothering me. We can talk about it later though. I won't just stop talking to you or whatever.
I reply with a "I already think I know what it is, but yeah."
2)He replies, Yeah...we can talk about it more though when I have free time, which may be never lol.
He asked me how school was, I said it was eh. He -sigh-ed, and said that he didn't want to lose touch, and added a "Plz." at the end.
All I want to know is why. We were PERFECTLY FINE on Friday at game night when I saw him. And I was actually able to game. I just...bah. I'm tired of getting hurt. I think I might decide against them until I get to college. Or SOMETHING.
IN OTHER NEWS...
I realized today how much I truly love Theatre. It gets my mind off of everything, I love acting, I love singing. Love love love love love!
Today was the THIRD time I called Linens n Things back to schedule an interview, and they told me that they were short one operating manager, and that they would put my name at the top of the list and call me back either at the end of this week or the beginning of next week. I hope they remember. I really need the job.
Now, all of my girlfriends were comforting with the whole breakup thing, but actually, the two people who made me feel better the most were Gabe and Zach. It was really nice. Guys can give you more advice on what THEY think and whatnot. Girls just sympathize with you and are like "OMG I AM SO SORRY"
I do not cry for attention. Ever. ESPECIALLY in school. Today was the second time, during school, that I absolutely could NOT hold in the tears.
Ugh. I just...want to get over it already. It's already going to be hard seeing him and going to his house on game nights.
I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you.
Monday. 9.15.08 6:57 pm
I do wish I had a little more free time.
And that I got a job at Linens n Things.
And that gas prices would go down to like, $1.15 per gallon.
And that candy still cost 5 cents a piece.
And...I won't steal songs from people anymore. Because, I know how it feels when someone steals something that you discovered. It's kind of like when you listen to a band WAY before they become famous, and then they sell-out for image and more fans, and then everyone starts listening to the music you once loved and it's always over-played on the radio and it's just frustrating.
I've discovered a few bands where I like all of their music: Vampire Weekend, The Foo Fighters, Coldplay, and The Fray. There are probably more that I can't think of at the moment, but still.
I can't wait for Fall. I can finally wear one of my favorite jackets, and the leaves will fall and turn brown. Unless it snows, we can just skip Winter right on to Spring. My FAVORITE season. Summer is too hot, Fall turns into winter and isn't warm, Winter is too cold and not sunny. Spring is perfect. Warm, with a cool breeze. A light scent of honey suckle and freshly cut grass is the best. And especially at my dad's house; the only thing I can hear are trees rustling against each other. Music to my ears.
I'm tired. I'm going to finish some homework and stuff. Hopefully I'll have time to play Xbox Live. Later!
Sunday. 9.14.08 6:56 pm
I swear, I get lost every time I hear the song "Clocks" by Coldplay. I'm in my own world. But, it also makes me want to cry really bad. Even if there's nothing to be sad about. Maybe it's just little things on my mind that aren't worth crying over, but I do anyway, just to live longer.
(Theory says that people who show their emotions more, like crying being the main example, live a little longer than people who don't. So that's why I added that "just to live longer" part)
I spend the night at Katie's last night. It was really nice, actually. I missed talking to her about, well, everything. 'Twas nice.
Gas prices shot up from like, $3.39 to $4.15, just for regular. I REALLY need my car, and a job at Linens n Things. Hopefully I will get the job soon, and the car...January T.T
Jeeze. My dad's been kind of a dick to me, lately. I swear I think he would choose his girlfriend over me. And, don't get me wrong, I love his girlfriend, I've known her my whole life, and she literally is my second mother. But...I want to know that I am at least accepted in the house by myself. It seems like when I come over now to my dad's, she's there. And I mean, I can understand that he's lonely. I mean, he needs to have someone solid who will stick with him.
Because now he knows that I might not be there as much, anymore.
Though I will admit, he has done better about drinking when I'm over. But...just when I'm over isn't enough.
SAME GOES FOR THE SMOKING.
If you have Xbox Live!
Wednesday. 9.10.08 9:59 pm
(Sorry I used your asaurus, Katie.)
I would have used Steigenator, or simply Steigasaurus, but what do you know, BOTH of those were taken. -gasp!- :O! T.T
It's because I always want to see you smiling. To see you laughing. With me. I want to see you happy and know that it is true. I don't wish to cause you any harm or pain, though it has been inflicted on you involuntarily, and I regret every moment. I want to always be by your side, I want to always be one you can turn to when all else fails. Your friend, your best friend. I don't want to be afraid of the possibility of losing you, much less the actual occurrence. I want to be confident with you, I want to know that you want me by your side. I want to know that your words are true; that your smiles and laughs and attitude and your feelings are all true. I want this because I love you. I really, really do.
Monday. 9.8.08 10:30 pm
I think my mom is going to check all of my sites. (Myspace, Facebook, Xanga, etc) She will NOT find my NuTang. Sheesh, I might have to delete some of my old entries on Xanga, too. Either I'd get in huge trouble for cussing and stating my feelings about her earlier on, or she'd feel really bad about how I feel. Which I highly doubt about the second one, by the way.
Asjflkdsjfdkslfjds. Invasion of privacy, yes. Protecting me from online predators, also yes. I guess sometimes having over protective parents aren't THAT bad. I have something to look forward to once I turn 18. :-P
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