Sorry, I just really love that word :)
It means "butterfly" in Spanish.
I think if I ever have a daughter, that is what I will name her.
Mariposa.


This was a butterfly that got whacked by someone and their tennis racket T.T
I thought it was really pretty, though.

Even if I was afraid of it >.>

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And I finally got what I wanted.

He finally asked me out, and quite frankly, I am happy I waited.
Ahh, yes.

But, anyways. I got back from the mountains yesterday, and I do believe its safe to say that I did indeed enjoy myself. The mountains were gorgeous, as were my friends. Of course, there was a not so wonderful moment where I almost broke Britney's BRAND NEW camera. Like, the third one she's had in 2008 so far. D:

Though, I am very happy to be back. And to be going back to work. I love my job so much, and the people there. Most of the time. It's just so much fun, I feel so happy there, even during a bad day or when people are being douchebags.

Life is good. I love music. I love friends. I love listening and looking and feeling and touching and tasting and just, being. A lot of things are beautiful, we just have to dig and make sure we find the beauty even in a sticky situation.

Now, I could be blinded by happiness or something right now, because I know my last few blogs were most definitely less than happy. But I mean, if you have something to be happy about it, you should express it, right?

I wish more people could be happy all the time. I mean, heck, I wish I myself could be happy ALL the time. But...that wouldn't be life, then. Life is always worth living, no matter how bad the bad times may get.

So corny. Gah. But true!

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Why am I so unhappy right now?

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Heh, Katie, you don't need to be worried about me.
Thank you though.

And, I know its supposed to be anonymous, but...I can't help myself.
I wrote this, and...I felt like putting it here.

"You aren't exactly 'mine' yet.
I just hope you don't use that as an excuse to get action from other girls before you become 'mine.'
That is, IF you ever become 'mine.'

Because, I don't know if you noticed, but I'd really like to be 'yours.'"

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Too much time.
Too little time.

Think think THINK. Equality equality equality.
You dummy.
-hits self in head-

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That is pretty much the only thing I have to be happy about right now.
That and the fact that next weekend I am going away to the mountains, and the weekend after that I am going away up North to visit Will for a weekend.

And sorry, but this is about to be a long rant blog.

My mother is a fucking liar. I do EVERYTHING I am told to do. I do my chores, I make damn sure I do them right, just to get privileges. Like, today for instance. Earlier this week I TOLD HER that I was leaving at 8:00 because I was going bowling, so I asked if I could go to Aaron's a little earlier. She said she was perfectly fine with that. Then, last night I reminded her about going early, and she was like "You already are there plenty of time. We will see how things go tomorrow and I will decide then." Wtf.
And THEN there was today. Yesterday or the day before I talked to my mom about stopping by after work on Monday since its on the way home and spending an hour or two there, just doing whatever. She said she didn't want to commit to it, but if it worked around her schedule then she'd do it. I just brought it up again talking about how it might work better if I DID stay with my dad Sunday and Monday night and he could just pick me up. Then she just got an attitude with me all of a sudden saying "I believe I just nixed that whole thing all together."
I just...can't win with my mother, at all.
I am always there when she needs to talk to someone. I calm her down when she overthinks situations, especially with guys she dates. Do you know how hard that is already? For her to be talking about guys I haven't even MET before and hearing about either how great they are or how they are somehow upsetting her? I clean the house for her when she needs it clean for when her date comes over, and then she snaps at me for missing a spot, even though everything looks perfect.
Stop coming to me for damn help and then yell at me for doing or saying something wrong.

I am just unhappy with both of my parents. My mom cares WAY too much, and is far too over protective and stuff, and I somewhat think she takes advantage of me whether she notices or not. And my dad...I mean, I love my dad. But EVERY SINGLE TIME I go there, he always gets drunk at some point. He is then annoying, obnoxious, and I go into adult mode. I don't even put up with him. I just ignore him.

I've actually thought about trying to live with my grandma or something. She doesn't have cable, so I would probably find more productive things to do in my spare time. I don't know if that would change anything, either. My parents wouldn't allow me to do that, anyway. I'd be too much of a burden, probably, in their eyes.

Also, there's a guy I like. And I just second-guess myself, and the whole thing all the time. My supervisors at work don't even know him, they haven't even met him, but one of them says he is a douchebag for trying to date me, because I am three years younger. God I KNOW that sounds horrible, but I mean...I don't know. I don't even know what my point was to begin with.
But also, I try toning down PDA to little kisses and whatever. He says he LOVES PDA and what not, but never actually...shows it, I guess. When I say goodbye, I'd kind of like a hug and maybe a small kiss goodbye. Nope. Just a hug. A hug is fine. But he also gives the same hugs to other girls he hangs out with. I don't care about the girls, but I mean, SOMETHING a little extra would be nice. A kiss on the forehead, the cheek. Something.
Hey, maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I'm just some crazy phsyco lady.
Or maybe I'm just a normal person and I should either confront the guy about it or stop spending my time on him. I'd rather not do either one and let things fix themselves, but I don't know if that will work.
I would just...I'd most likely feel more secure with myself if we just became official already. Apparently its getting really close...but I wonder if that's soon enough for me. I kind of hope so.

I think I'm done with my rant.

Oh, and tonight someone hit me in the head with a bowling ball on their back swing T.T

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