To do what I want based on what other people do.
Not because of what other people think, exactly. But I often compare my actions to those of others, instead of doing what I think is right/what I want to do.

Its time to stop comparing and just concentrate on myself.

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God, I am getting so damn tired of all of this.

I am seriously trying not to bring up Aaron THAT MUCH anymore. If I am with other friends, I am now going to concentrate on them. And IF the subject of guys just so happens to pop up, I might put in a few words, but then straight back to friend jibber jabber.

But especially with Will. I do not even bring the subject of Aaron up at ALL. But...Will always brings him up and makes me feel bad about it.

Steigenator says:
God I thought I didn't have an early shift wednesday
Will Galloway says:
did u make plans?
Steigenator says:
sort of
Steigenator says:
not official plans
Steigenator says:
just "yeah IF i have a later shift i can talk to my mom about chillin"
Will Galloway says:
ah
Will Galloway says:
to?
Steigenator says:
huh?
Will Galloway says:
i mean with
Will Galloway says:
sry
Steigenator says:
Aaron
Will Galloway says:
wow
Will Galloway says:
should have seen that one

Steigenator says:
I felt bad for ali because drew wasnt there
Will Galloway says:
haha
Will Galloway says:
so yall made it awkward for her?
Steigenator says:
no?
Will Galloway says:
haha good

WTF. I can understand how he could still have hostility against me for dating one of his friends. But PLEASE STOP adding little sneaky comments like that to put me down. If it keeps up I am going to confront you and tell you how I feel.

Its almost like he is the over-protective boyfriend who has to know where I am at every moment, who I'm with, how long I was with them, what I did, blah blah blah. Its suffocating me, a lot.

Please, Will. Just please, back off a bit.

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Go to the link in my title to read about my day.

I feel lied to.
Actually, no. I'm just an overly-jealous person.
Unfortunately.

I've realized that on certain things, I would rather just not know.
Because I feel horrible when I do know. Just on certain things though.

Heh, I'm not being very detailed. I don't want to give a lot of detail, just for my own safety.

I have a goal in life to figure out how to make things better on my own. Because I don't want help any more. I want to be strong on my own without the help of others. Yes its nice to have people to fall back on every once in a while, but depending on yourself is the best, when you have a solid base.

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I don't understand how people so close can drift apart so quickly.

There are a lot of people. But there are two people in particular.
Katie and Britney.

Everyone has changed. I worry about Britney because there always seems to be something wrong. And I want to fix it, but she'd always rather be left alone and not have people asking.

I've changed because I've started hanging out with new people. And I know that caused me to neglect my other friends. So now I'm trying to change that.

OhmyGod. Last night was horrible.

I was talking to Will, and I knew he was in a bad mood, but I figured it was simply because his boss at work was getting on his nerves. But apparently it was much, much more than that.

We were having a normal conversation at first. But then things started to get sour. "Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly in the best mood. If you haven't figured out why already, it will hit you soon enough." I'm sorry, but what the fuck. I am not going to play some damn guessing game, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell you why you are unhappy. I told him to tell me why, and tell me how he felt, and tell me what to do about it.

I mean, I knew he had a lot of hostility. I knew he still had things he wanted to say to me, I just never expected it to all come back. Apparently the situation with Logan got to him, and he was reminded of our break up.

In a way, Will and Logan are in the same boat, while Katie and I are in the same boat. If what I am thinking is correct, that is. Katie likes Logan as a best friend, not a boy friend. Same with me and Will.

But, honestly...it was so out of the blue. I haven't cried so much in so long.


I'm still not quite sure if he is over me. And that scares me more.

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I haven't published an entry in a while.

I just got off restriction from my computer 2 days ago. I missed my computer dearly.

Quite a lot has happened within the past month. Good, and bad. Heh.

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