Wednesday. 8.11.10 12:29 pm
the anger
the hatred
the pain
the sadness
the contradictions
the dissonance
and use it to your advantage. Allow yourself growth. Let the weakness leave your body. Only you can do it for yourself.
No one else.
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Sunday. 8.8.10 9:33 pm
I think I may have a mild form of depression.
In all honestly, I have a good life. My parents support me, I have a roof over my head and I am in a relatively good place. Yet there are times where a heavy feeling of loneliness fills my heart and I'm left pondering what it is that makes me feel so down.
Maybe it's because I don't have a job right now to fill in all the free time I currently have. Financially I'm ok thanks to my parents helping pay my college bills, but other than that maybe part of my sadness comes from being more financially dependent than I would like to be at this current point and time; Coming from working to help buy things for myself since I was 16 to having to rely on the goodwill of my parents is something of a shocker.
Another reason I feel that I'm a bit hard on myself in recent times is because of the lack of communication I've had with friends. I keep to myself fairly often, and it's a rare occasion that I go out and socialize. Those people I met in college have come and gone, and as I've said in a previous post, most are acquaintances rather than friends.
All in all I really cannot convey how I feel through words. It's probably more circumstantial than anything, so I just honestly have to keep my head up and press on.
Now I'm going to sing away some of this stress in the bathroom ^^
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