How many of you have ever gotten stuck on a long flight somewhere? The kind of flight where you wind up burning through all of the reading material provided for you, in addition to that magazine you bought at the airport. How many of you have ever wound up reading those airline safety manuals in the back pocket of the seat in front of you, just for the fun of it?

And how many of you have ever wondered who the hell makes their living by drawing those horribly illustrated directions?

Because I know that I have... and a recent entry by TheZebra into the avatar contest just brought all of those memories back. Or, more specifically, it reminded me of a website I discovered a while back, dedicated to seeking out all of those amusing safety illustrated manuals and exposing them for the poorly drawn abomonations that they really are.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: AirToons...





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www.AirToons.com has many more of the same, along with a new line of terrorism-safety-manual parodies. If you've got a free minute, go ahead and take a look down there.

And my personal favorite...



Thank you, that is all.â„¢

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Real blog entry to follow later tonight. But for now...


Thank you, that is all.â„¢

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In recent years, we Americans have perfected the fast-food-franchising art of packing the maximum amount of unhealthy and unnatural deliciousness into the maximum amount of food. Japan, on the other hand (or more accurately, the Morinaga Corporation) has apparently managed to accomplish the same thing, except they've concentrated all of that edible perfection into small, bite-size pellets.

Ladies and Gentlemen, those pellets are called "Hi-chew," and they're awesome. Like a cross between starbursts and chewing gum. And believe me, I know my candy. I've grown up on candy. I'm the kind of person who would assume that a farmer hasn't grown his crops right, because his strawberries taste nothing like artificial flavors that I'm accustomed to.

But I digress. This stuff is seemingly impossible to find in New York. They're like Cuban cigars... Everybody wants them, but nobody seems to know where to find them.

Thankfully there's a dealer... Thankfully, there's a produce shop run by an Asian family near my home that sells them. So for now, I seem to have become my school's official supplier of "that Asian candy stuff..."

Thank you, that is all.


A Cuban cigar, in its natural habitat. Speaking of Cubans... I couldn't find an amusing video relating to Hi-chew or Cuban cigars (although YouTube has a ton of videos of people just sitting there, smoking them) so I got the next best thing... take a look below. And no, for those of you who are wondering, I don't smoke. I just find cigars amusing.


You have just witnessed the fall of communism.

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Way back in the old days, back when ManOfDarkSunglasses was still BoyOfDarkSunglasses, he used to attend Hebrew school about once a week. It was your typical not-for-profit organization type of thing... and like all not-for-profit organizations, they engaged in the occasional fundraiser. Be it a charity dinner for the parents to drag their kids to, or a raffel for tickets to Yankee games that always seemed to fall on the most inconvenient of days, or perhaps a field trip that just never seemed to turn out as fun as the mass-mailed flyers made it sound.

This time it was bowling: A short trip to a nearby bowling alley for the students and alumni of the Hebrew school. It was an appealing idea, and when the day finally came for us all to meet at the school in preperation, we were surprised to discover that the van provided for us wasn't big enough to fit everybody. And so, a taxi service was called, and a few of the students were selected to ride to the bowling alley under the watchful supervising eye of an older alumnist.

The driver was friendly enough. Him and the alumni (who I remember being around the age of a high-school senior, although I may have overestimated his age due to my own youth) made some of the usual dull small talk, while I zoned out and watched the traffic. Things were boring... but not for long. For all of a sudden, out of the dull and mindless haze of their prefunctory chit-chat, arose disaster.

"What the hell is wrong with that woman? Isn't she watching the road? Its those gaddamn Japs I tell ya, they just can't drive at all. See, look. She's Asian."

And thus it began. Apparently, this had struck a nerve with our driver, for he spent the next ten minutes or so discussing the poor driving abilities of Japanese people. Actually, it wasn't really much of a discussion... more like a lecture. Or, for the alumnist (who was responsible for taking care of us until we reached the bowling alley) it was more like a ten-minute-long attempt to change the subject. For the three of us kids, on the other hand... well, we didn't really know what to make of it. We had grown up on such multiculturalist PBS shows as "Arthur" and "The Magic Schoolbus". Asians were innately poor at driving? Barney never mentioned that when he was teaching us safety tips for crossing the street. This just didn't make sense...

As if reading our minds, it seemed to suddenly dawn on the driver that he might have gone a bit too far. He concluded the lecture and quickly began attempts at damage control.

"Asians as a race aren't really bad drivers. I mean, the Chinese aren't so bad..."

"But the Japanese," he reiterated, "Are just horrible."

Needless to say, the hebrew school never skimped on the field-trip vans again after that little incident.

Thank you, that is all.

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Well, all right I guess its not really a new layout... more like heavily modified. But unfortunately, I spent most of my time tonight editing the new banner and getting the background music up, and left myself little time to study for my final tomorrow. And as much as I enjoy writing here, I'm afraid that my future comes before nuTang (though it was a close call). Thus, tonight's blog entry will have to be postponed until tomorrow.

But in the meantime... any thought's on the changes I've made to the page? I'm thinking of removing the music, I'm not sure if it fits.

And if you're wondering who that old guy is in my new banner (the one wearing the sunglasses and smoking the cigar) he's a character from the movie Boondock Saints... best remembered for the following photo:


When the day comes that I have grandkids, I am so gonna be like this guy.

Anyway... let me know what you think of the new layout and music.

Thank you, that is all.

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Winter, for Poland, and France....

Damn, I watched The Producers last night and now I can't get that song out of my head. All right, so we've established that nuTang isn't exactly the number one fan site for 24... but you guys must at least have some sort of passing familiarity with the Mel Brooks classics... right? Please, tell me you read the title for this entry and said to yourself "Hehe, I remember that movie..." instead of "Hitler? He's still alive?!"

If you still have no clue what I'm talking about (or if you're an old fan in need of a refresher), please turn your attention to the clip below for a crash course on the most infamous of Mel Brooks comedic masterpieces... The one and only, Springtime for Hitler music-and-dance number.



And remember, next time someone tells you to "be a smarty" and join the Nazi party, they either hold some very screwed up political beliefs or some very good taste in films.

Thank you, that is all.

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