If it isn't one thing, it's another.

Why doesn't my real life just LEAVE ME ALONE!

Why can't I just hide away in my ivory tower?

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When I try to fall asleep, I feel like my mind is a large wooden top. It starts spinning, and it's spinning and spinning and spinning and thoughts are racing through it in every different color... and then... and then... the top starts wildly precessing, and the logic of my thoughts decay as the obliquity increases... until the whole top falls right over into oblivion.

Sometimes if I realize that this is what is happening, I can interrupt the process, like flicking a spinning quarter just right to keep it spinning.

But why would you want to? Falling asleep is one of my few true, natural skills.

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The daffodils explode like fireworks
Then succumb to the frigid air that lurks
in fitful Spring just around the nearest bend
Skeletons of smoke in ashen gray
They tremble in the wind and drift away
For greatest beauty always comes to swiftest end.

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Didn't quite know how the old birthday would go this year, but it turned out just fabulous. Heard from all my favorite people, got some really sweet and thoughtful presents, ate delicious candy/cake/thaifood/icecreamcake, and just generally felt the love. And, having felt the love, I will now emanate it. :D

::love vibes to everyone reading this entry::

::love love love::

love you!

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So I finally met with my entire Master's committee today. We're supposed to meet every semester but I don't seem able to get it together but once a year. And last time one of my three committee members [the Geophysist] forgot and didn't show up. Today he also forgot but we were able to get him on the phone and tell him to come over. I was afraid he was mad at me because he hasn't asked me to help him work on the seafloor for a while, but turns out he totally isn't and he says we can work on it more this summer. Big sigh of relief. I'll have to remember what my codes say because I must admit I haven't thought about the seafloor since December. [THOUGH APPARENTLY OFF THE COAST OF WASHINGTON STATE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JUAN DE FUCA PLATE THERE WAS A SWARM OF EARTHQUAKES WITH OVER 600 EARTHQUAKES IN 10 DAYS THAT BEGAN MARCH 10TH!!!! WTF???]

Anyway, I chatted to them about my research for like an hour, and also with these random other guys who were visiting my advisor and so had nothing to do. One of the guys, wow, so back in the day when he had just been accepted to graduate school at Harvard to work for this very particular guy, it was the summer before he started school and the advisor went into the field, contracted bubonic plague, and died. So he showed up at Harvard in the fall and they were like, "uh, sorry, but you'll have to have a new advisor."
Grad student: "wtf, man, when did this guy go to grad school, like the 14th century?"

Anyway, they said I could take my PhD qualifying exams whenever I feel like it! Hooray!!! I also pitched my random pet theory about cosmogenic isotopes (rare isotopes of elements that are made when charged particles from the solar wind interact with the nuclei of elements in rocks on a planetary surface). We still don't know if my mad plan would work, but they didn't find any problem with it [yet]. My advisor was satisfied and gave me a pat on the back and a wink. He also let it slip that he's going to Antartica this winter, but still nobody knows who he's going to take with him. Very likely not me [sad face].

Anyway, it was quite triumphant, and I celebrated by going to Fluid Mechanics, where they put me back in my place by teaching me a bunch of stuff that was totally and completely over my head in every way. Then I celebrated some more by screwing around for the rest of the day instead of writing my master's thesis. Give me a break! It was 76 degrees today!

Thalweg and I then went to Target and bought cheap clothing and then watched "MEGLODON", an amazing movie about a parallel ocean beneath our ocean which is filled with prehistoric sealife, including the 60ft shark, the MEGLODON, which escapes into our ocean and proceeds to EAT EVERYONE!

All told, a splendid day!

Hypothesized Megladon jaw size (from size of teeth)


This really happened. That t-rex, poor bastard, managed to survive a tragic shipwreck only to be feasted upon by the MEGLODON. He wouldn't have lived... hard to swim with those tiny little arms. Amazing that someone caught it on film.

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Today I went to my Christian Fellowship meeting. It's the second time I went, the first time I ate jumbalaya, mmm-mm!

Anyway, this time we were focused on our relationship with the environment. We had invited the big environmental group on campus to talk about the environment and the intersection of the environment with people of faith.

The guy who leads it is really awesome. He is really laid back and casual, like a surfer. He's the kind of guy you imagine Jesus would be, really chill and peaceful but at the same time surprisingly deep and insightful. He's worried about whether or not we should be worried about the environment. I appreciate people who worry over what they should worry over. The environment is something I worry about less than I worry about the effects of good-intentioned people who go overboard trying to save the environment and do things that result in huge mistakes (like bio-fuels, for one pertinent example).

Anyway, last time I went we were talking about the story of Adam and Eve. In the story, they live in the garden and they are stewards of the garden and its inhabitants. It's not just that they live in harmony with the animals and plants, and it's not that they live just like any other animal. They live in the garden but they are the gardeners- they are masters of the animals and plants and they govern them. The best way to govern is to do subtle things that allow your garden to grow to its potential. Like any good master, they are really servants of the garden. They have a harmonious relationship with their environment, each other, and their God.

Then, when they eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they become aware of the difference between good and evil. They were made with free will, and now with the knowledge of good and evil, they have the capacity to choose evil, to suffer for it, and to cause others to suffer for it. The first thing they gain as a result of this action is shame at their nakedness, and they hide from God.

This leads to a hilarious joke about Genesis 3:10:

A new pastor moved into a town,
and he went out one day to visit
his parishioners. All went well until
he came upon this one house.
It was obvious that someone was
home, but no one came to the door
even after he had knocked several times.
Finally he took out his card, wrote on
the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it
on the back of the door.

Revelation 3:20:
"Behold, I stand at the door,
and knock: if any man hear my voice,
and open the door, I will come in to him,
and will dine with him, and he with me."

Later in the week, as he was counting
the offering, he found his card
in the collection plate

Below his message was the notation

"Genesis 3:10."

Genesis 3:10: "And he said, I heard thy voice
in the garden, and I was afraid, because
I was naked: so I hid myself."

HAHAHahahAHAHAha.
But anyway , jokes aside, their open and harmonious relationship with God is shattered. When God asks Adam if he ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, Adam immediately blames Eve for what he has done "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." When God asks Eve about it, she blames the serpent for tricking her. The knowledge has shattered relationships between humans as well. They realize that they were not only naked in the literal sense, but all of their thoughts and feelings and intentions had been exposed as well. And so they clothe these thoughts and intentions from each other. And last, they have shattered their relationship with their environment, and instead of the Earth continuously yielding bounty, they must work the ground with back-breaking labor in order to cause it to bear fruit.

If this weren't enough, God then enters his curious first person plural mode of speaking and says, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."

You must recall that there were not one, but two trees in the middle of the garden, but Adam and Eve were allowed to eat from the Tree of Life, just not the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. This seems to be extremely harsh of God right here. First, all of their most precious relationships have been damaged by their shame and their distance from each other, God, and their charge, the garden. Now God takes away the Tree of Life as well?

Here's where the guy who was giving the talk gives this story an interesting spin. He says that it isn't God's spite, but God's love that moves him to make this decision. It was Adam and Eve's choice to fall from grace, but if they ate the fruit of the Tree of Life, they would stay that way forever. They would always live in a world with broken relationships, a harsh and unforgiving environment incapable of being subdued or properly governed, and a distance from God. So it is from kindness that God bars the way to the Garden of Eden and the Tree of Life.

Naturally this message has to tie into the Christian message, because we're at a Christian Fellowship meeting. How?

Because Adam was the first gardener, but he isn't the last, says the leader-guy. When Jesus comes along, he says, "You live in a world that is full of pain, sin, suffering, turmoil, and distance from God. But God has brought back the Tree of Life, and offers a way for you to re-enter Eden, eat from the Tree of Life, and live forever."

Jesus is often compared to a shepard, but he is also a master gardener, and his sheep are gardeners, too (look how they've been trimming the grass!) In terms of the popular terms of today, you can't have a sustainable garden by making all of the gardeners unemployed. People have to be involved in making their part of the Earth flower and grow fruitful, because that's their purpose. It's their job to be steward of their fellow man, their environment, and themselves.

But anyway, you could tell that the environmental group was kind of there to manipulate us into hearing about their cause. In many ways, environmentalism is just like all of the evangelical Christian groups that they can't stand, angling for converts and convinced of their own holiness. We were there to learn about each other, but really we were there to learn about them, and they were there to convince us of the urgency of their message. Come on now. We invented that technique during the Middle Ages. Repent or face the end of the world? Change your ways before it's too late? It's been done.

One kid was Jewish, though, and he was the one who could relate best to where we were coming from. He was the only one that had felt the intensely personal feeling of a greater power. The other two said, "Spirituality" as a catch phrase to get our attention, but the one kid you could tell actually knew what that meant. But of course our leader had an interesting comment once again. He said that what the environmental movement lacks is hope. And that's something the community of faith has always had in spades. Ironically, the community of faith is just what the environmental movement needs: hope.

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