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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


The Profile


Zanzibar
Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World









The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:

Samarinda

Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
CURRENT MOON
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER


Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
W: PARKOUR!
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Exodus
1984
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
Uglies
Pretties
Specials
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Pompeii
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
Bound
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Twilight
Eclipse
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
Infidel
Neuromancer
The Help
Flip
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Princess
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Delirium
Memento Nora
Robopocalypse
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Sister
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Divergent
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
2312
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module


Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
The Lone Wolf of the North Woods
Wednesday. 7.20.05 11:04 am
When we were camping up on the south shore of Lake Superior in Wisconsin, we met this man who was camping next to us who decided he would be more than welcome to sit at our nice fire and tell us stories all night while drinking the groups' beer. He was 47 and he had been divorced for 9 years. His ex-wife was a native american who grew up on the nearby reservation. They're having a lot of trouble on the reservation these days and he likes to keep up with the news on it. He cares about the reservation very much.

He's a retired businessman, when he was 20 he started a limosine renting business and got to drive around lots of interesting people (especially interesting, he said, were the stewardesses that he got to drive back and forth to the airport). After a while he expanded into other businesses and made quite a fortune for himself. He worked all the time, and it was paying off (monetarily). About seven years ago, he had a massive heart attack that almost killed him. When he recovered, he retired and reevaluated his life. His wife was gone. He was forty and had just almost died from overwork. He started going camping and getting into kayaking and canoeing. Always by himself- hunting, exploring the North Woods, living life at a slower pace.
Somebody asked him what he hoped to do with the rest of his life. He answered very frankly that it was his life goal to remarry his ex-wife. He loved her more than anything and he was a fool to have let her go. She left him while he was working, and one can't help but wonder what might have happened had he suffered the heart attack and the awakening just two years earlier. I asked him how he was going to win her back and he answered that he couldn't really do anything at the moment, because she was married to some dumb jerk. His eyes lit up for a moment. "But just as soon as she realizes that and leaves him, I'll be there."
He seemed to be aware of how pathetic his life might seem, living alone, dedicated to getting back a woman who had clearly moved on without him, but he assured us that it wasn't so bad as all that. He camped all the time, he moved whenever he wanted to, he met all kinds of people- people like us. He said that day he had been kayaking on the lake and exploring the caves around the Apostle Islands. The cave rooves were low so only in the best of weather should you try and go into them. He said the things he saw on his trip were so beautiful... it made him very sad because for the first time all he really wanted was someone with whom he could share these beautiful memories. The solitude is amazing, yes, the sights are amazing, but having somebody to share all these things with, who will remember them with you years later, that's what life is really all about. He thought perhaps he would put out an ad for a kayaking partner, at least. We encouraged him on this point.
He said that he was taking a lot of medicine for his various ailments (he mentioned morphine, which I doubt they would give him) and he said he shouldn't drink in conjunction with his medication, so he gave us a 3/4 full bottle of vodka and a six-pack of beer. Why he had these things in the first place was a mystery to us, but he ended up finishing another quarter of the vodka while he was talking to us. He and Erin and I went off a little ways to a clearing where we could see the stars. I showed them the Little Dipper which neither had seen. He was especially impressed since he said he'd been looking for it for many years and always in the wrong place. I showed them how to find Draco the Dragon and Scorpio the Scorpion and Cygnus the Swan and even the Lyra, the Harp. I showed them constellations even I had never seen before. It was a lot of fun. He asked me if he could ask me a personal question and I said he could and he asked if I believed in God. I said I certainly did and he said he thought that was really cool. I told him that I thought it was amazing how many little mysteries God has put out there for us to figure out, so many mysteries that we'll always have something to do.

I liked him. Some of the others thought he was kind of a sad drunken man who told us a lot of lies. I guess maybe the story he told us about how he fought off a black bear with a machete and filmed it with his video camera that he held in his other hand seems a little far fetched looking back on it, and the fact that he owns a two-hundred pound timber wolf that he controls with a shock collar isn't something you hear about every day, but frankly who cares if his tales are true or not? What's going to happen to me, who is going to laugh at me if I believe him? Nothing and no one. Anyway, the quieter, sadder tales were what interested me, because nobody invents such steadfast devotion and such deep and mournful regret. I think his life could be a country song.

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Monday. 6.27.05 8:20 am
I'm going caaaamping!

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for some reason these get me
Sunday. 6.26.05 2:39 pm
yeah, usually I'm not into the internet list thing, but I found these while cruising the blogs lately and they really tell it like it is. it makes me go, "yeah! that's exactly right!"

*1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or ***y.
*2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second.
*3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
*4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
*5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times.
*6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
*7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
*8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
*9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
*10 . Write her notes. {she loves them}
*11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend.
*12 . Play with her hair.
*13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her.
*14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.
*15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes.
*16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her.
*17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
*18. Carve your names into a Tree.
*19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
*20 . Give her piggyback rides.
*21 . Bring her Flowers just because.
*22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
*23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
*24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
*25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
*26 . Kiss her in the rain.
*27 . If your in love with her . . . Tell her.

I wanna be the girl you point to and say that's her
I wanna be the girl you can't get to sleep thinking about
I wanna be the girl you leave the party to go see
I wanna be the girl you call to say i miss you
I wanna be the girl you hug just to smell her purfume
I wanna be the girl you kiss just to taste her lipgloss
I wanna be the girl you tell your friends about
I wanna be the girl you touch just to feel
I wanna be the girl you cuddle just to feel her breath
I wanna be your girl forever

when a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
when a girl is not arguing, she is deep in thought.
when a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
when a girl answers ' i'm fine,' after a few seconds, she's not fine at all.
when a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
when a girl says 'i love you,' she means it.
when a girl says ' I miss you', no one in the world can miss you more than that

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quizzes
Saturday. 6.25.05 9:04 pm
hm, I guess you have to highlight it with your cursor to read it, don't ask me.




You Are a Boy Shorts Bikini!


You're a sexy girl - but not the type that likes to let it all hang out.

You are in to a little of everything at the beach - swimming, tanning, playing

And when you're running around, you'll be sure your butt isn't falling out of your suit




What Kind of Bikini Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.








You Have Your PhD in Men


You understand men almost better than anyone.

You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.

Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.


How Well Do You Understand Men? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.










Your Element is Metal


Your power colors: white, gold, and silver



Your energy: contracting



Your season: fall



You are persistent (and maybe even a little bit stubborn).

If you see something you want, you go for it.

You have a lot of strength, and it's difficult to get you down.

Very logical, you tend to analyze everything going on in your life.

What Element Are You?




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.









You Belong in London


A little old fashioned, and a little modern.

A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.

A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.

No wonder you and London will get along so well.


What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.











You Are a Soft Kisser


Your kissing style is understated, but effective

You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses to your special guy

And that's the key: he's got to be special to get your kiss

Because you don't just go around kissing anyone


What's Your Kissing Style? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.











Men See You As Choosy


Men notice you light years before you notice them
You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky
You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter
It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.











You are Milk Chocolate


A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.





Your Ideal Hairstyle: Long and Framed






What Hairstyle Is Right For You? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.








You are a Buff Girl!


You've got a boomin' body and a fearless spirit.
Most guys have trouble keeping up with your energy and fitness level.
Competitve and fun loving, you're up for almost anything.
Make sure you pick a guy who doesn't mind getting beaten by a girl!




What Kind of Girl Are You? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.





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life would be better if it were a movie
Saturday. 6.25.05 8:47 pm
Yeah, life would be better if it were a movie. Especially when it comes to doing things that are hard. Think about getting in shape for example. When you think, "I'll get in shape this summer" you may be like me, and imagine getting in shape as some kind of 1.5-3 minute collage of footage of you sweating, doing push-ups, hitting the road, failing, improving, succeeding, all with an incredibly catchy and inspirational tune in the background. By the time the song is winding down, you are fit! Or when I decide that I'm going to learn everything about petrology secretly. There is some music, a shot of me staying up really late in the library, me suddenly wearing glasses- I'm always turning a page, not actually reading, just turning pages because I'm learning stuff that fast. At the end, the music cuts out and I'm the only one in the library and I fall asleep on my book. But it's ok, because I know EVERYTHING.


In reality, life is hard. You have to get up and spend hours every day doing that kind of stuff. Often, there is no music but your own heart beating in your ears and your own breath being sucked out of your lungs. And let me tell you, if you want to study really hard and become an expert on the Rove Formation, you will not only challenge yourself, you will be BORED OUT OF YOUR MIND. Sure, they talk about how it is hard on your muscles and your will and all that, but did they ever tell you that it would BORE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? You need all the will power you have to not just crawl into your welcoming bed and listening to an inspiring song on your windows media player "workout" playlist and imagining how fit you could be.

Just another reason why life needs a soundtrack.

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Saturday. 6.25.05 8:45 pm
It was time for the race. Dakar’s nostrils were filled with the smell of the other dragons, twitching with energy. Just seeing the starting line made Dakar’s breathing shorten, his muscles go tense with anticipation. He could see his brother, his brilliant scales reflecting shards of light across the slanted shadows of the other racers. He was in the centre of the starting line, whereas Dakar, as usual, was relegated to the twelfth position against the canyon’s wall. The route was simple: it ran along the sandy bottom where the river used to run, limiting the dragons to largely one dimensional movement just above the canyon floor. There were several close turns and they would slow Dakar considerably since he was in the extreme outside lane. Spectators were present; they were carrying flags of their various lineages and some of the DROM, though patriotism in the new government was pale and somewhat forced. Dakar could remember when the sky above the canyon rim was filled with whirling banners of Celestite. Back when the world was new.
He took his place in the twelfth lane. In position for the start, he could not see the other dragons behind him on the curve, he could only hear them. He could hear the strained, explosively tense sound of their breathless, waiting silence.
The horn sounded. Dakar lurched forward, taking to air. His mind was blank; the pounding of his wings against the air filled his folded ears. Any loose mass that lay on his muscles itched and burned as he surged over the sand and rocks. He wasn’t breathing. He sucked life-giving air into his lungs. He relaxed his straining neck and leaned forward. He could not tell how close the next dragon was. He needed to keep his head start to make up for the curve. He leaned hard into the first curve, barely staying in his lane. The cool air of the canyon burned in his lungs. He swept over the short rise that marked the halfway point. The spectators came into view, waving their banners furiously. He did not see them. They were cheering, screaming countless names and bits of advice and encouragement to the racers. He could not hear them. He was through the second turn. The others were closing in. Not close enough. The last stretch. His vision was black at the edges. He could not go any faster. He went faster. He heard one shout out of the hundreds of spectators. It was his father’s voice. Cheering for Chalco. He could see his brother out of the corner of his eye. He fell across the finishing line. He raked the sand almost immediately, coming to a crushing halt before his lane disappeared to a blank slate wall. With rasping voracity, he sucked at the cool air. His whole body felt light. With each breath his chest released a measure of its contraction and the black faded from the edge of his vision. His wings felt like rubber.
He turned and looked back at the finish line. Everyone had come across. They stood, staggered after the finish line, chests heaving. His father flew down from the cliff’s edge into the shadow, landing softly behind Chalco and putting his hand on his shoulder.

It was like Dakar was in a dream without sound. He could see his father’s mouth moving, smiling. Chalco’s lip curled up as he nodded, flushed and gleaming. Other dragons filled the space between him and his family. Second place. Second place, again. He could imagine if his father were like other fathers, how he would take a son under each wing. How he would boast that his sons were the two fastest dragons in Celestite. How proud he would be that his sons took the highest prizes again. He shook his head as if to shake the idea from his mind.

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I get bored in Literature of the Romantic Period!
Thursday. 6.23.05 8:47 pm
Zanzibar's Random Poetry Corner:
(a note: Zanzibar is not necessarily the speaker in any of Zanzibar's poetry)

An attempt at iambic pentameter:
(This comes from a conversation we had in English once about the naming of houses among English nobles. There was a hierarchy among all living things, with God at the top, angels, humans, animals, and finally plants. The lion was the highest animal and the rose was the highest plant, but all animals were above plants. When we got to the War of the Roses, we wondered why the houses would choose a high plant as opposed to a low animal. We asked our teacher what the lowest animal was and she told us it was the oyster. Thus was born Sonnet to the Oyster.)

Nigh was the onset of the night
The air was full of moisture
Not for any cause of right
But for the honor of the oyster

I came from deep in blackn'd wood
To watch the flags unfurl
As if might determines o'er all who should
And in whose power belongs the Pearl.

(death of poetic structure...)

At last the will of those who win are pressed upon those who lose
Day breaks, it tears
The day is theirs
They have crushed the enemies' souls on the soles of shoes.




And all throu' the misty hills passed we
Not quick'nd to flee, or fancy free
But steadily, like the eroding fingertips of ocean foam
Weary but glad; we were on our way home.




It was Hell; I know for I was there
I smelled the rotting bodies; and chose my path with care.
You were not there, yet you question what I’ve said
You were not there, to look into the glassy eyes of the newly dead.

It killed my Soul; I know for I could feel it.
I heard its final anguished death as the Devil failed to steal it.
You were not there, yet you question what I’ve said
You were not there, to hear the screaming in my head.

It was Necessary; I know for I gave all
I tasted the bitter hopelessness of the pow’rless and the small
You were not there, but you dare to question me
You were not there to die to set those people free.




The Giants pass by and summon with a great magnetic force
And like a bit of iron I flinch and jerk at their proximity.




In my warm study there is a busy ticking
With earnest focused industry my pen is stead’ly flicking

At once outside a spirit’s fury rises; and blowing branches bare
It pulls with trembling wrath its fingers through the willow’s tumbling hair.
It is not ceasing! Violence, there still it blows!
A blackbird strains with northward purpose, but southward still it goes.
Like a gaggle of frenzied coyote pups it begins to yip and howls...
I look to the wall for friendly clock but back at me it scowls.

And then the storm is gone again, the wheezing willow falls flat
The returning sun slinks through my window like a lazy summer cat.
Before me lies my lifeless sheaths so long on which I’ve toiled
Still in my forgotten hand my heavy pen is coiled
Is freedom here inside my books? and in notes with care and gravity lettered?
No! I wish to escape by yonder window there and run through life unfettered.




and some awesome words from the professionals:

"I feel assured I should write from the mere yearning and fondness I have for the Beautiful even if my night's labours should be burnt every morning and no eye ever shine upon them."
-Keats?
and of course Blake:

"The tree which moves some to tears is in the Eyes of others only a Green thing that stands in the way"

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tests!
Sunday. 5.29.05 6:21 pm
Your dating personality profile:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Your date match profile:

Big-Hearted - You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Athletic
2. Intellectual
3. Adventurous
4. Practical
5. Religious
6. Big-Hearted
7. Conservative
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Romantic
10. Traditional
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Big-Hearted
2. Practical
3. Athletic
4. Conservative
5. Religious
6. Intellectual
7. Adventurous
8. Sensual
9. Funny
10. Traditional

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

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