Man, I, Chelsea really really really suck, I mean I just suck I wish I could be like Cynthia, she is sooooooo awesome, shes the best in the entire world and she likes everything cool well see ya! The not so master of the universe

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Mood:: Ok

TV:: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Hellooo. TGIF! w00t!

There's a GSA night tonight, but I can't go, cause my mom is sick and I have to stay home to kinda help take care of her. And she wants to go eat Chinese food later, cause she wants won ton soup to help her get better. And then she wants to watch movies all night...now perosnally, this isn't my idea of a great Friday night. Mainly because it's my mom. But, she's sick, so I feel sympathetic. So I'm taking care of her and getting her milkshakes and basically whatever she wants, including my TIME.

Ah, well, it's not like I have anything better to do anyway. ...Oh wait, I actually do tonight...but, it's no problem.

We had a pep assembly today, so we got out of an hour of class. Though in exchange we had to watch the dance and cheer teams shake their asses in our faces. Choose your poison.

Tomarrow, there's some "Mom and Me At The Zoo" day thing. It's an early Mother's Day thing. And my mom wants to go. So not only am I giving up my Friday night, she also expects me to give up my whole Saturday. I DONT LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH HER. I don't. I only volunteered to do it tonight because she's sick. And that's for the whole damn night, when I could be doing something fun...and apparently that isn't good enough for her. She wants to put me through the stress and HELL of being with her. I know the zoo thing is a mother's day thing, but I'd much rather just buy her something, make her a card, and get the damn thing over with.

I know this makes me sound like a royal jack, but my mom is the only person I'm like this to. I swear. I don't feel hostile towards other people, just her. I just don't like her. As a person. If I met her osmewhere and she wasn't my mom, I wouldnt like her. No, scratch that. She hides her evil horns from the rest of the world. But as soon as you spend some time with her she is a queen of all bitches. And it's not because she's my oarent. I like my dad. He's a good guy. I just don't like my mom. I LOVE her, cause she's my mom and I have to, unexplainably. But I don't LIKE her.

Ugh, this is making me...fussy. New subject.

In English, we had to write a piece of creative writing. Well last night I wrote a poem, and today when I remembered that we had to have soemthing, and I didn't have anything, I decided to just use that. It was crappy, and embarrassing, but I need the grade. So I turned in my short poem. But you see, we get extra credit for publishing, and, like I said, I need the grade. Publishing in our class is where you read, or have someone else read, your piece aloud in front of the glass. I almost didn't, but then I decided to have someone go read it. Luckily, the girl was very quiet, so I don't think half the lcass heard it hahaha. Well, I guess I don't mind you guys reading it, since there's only a few of you, but be warned! IT IS BAD! Skip down past it if you can't handle the crappiness.



Chain-Smoker

Your mind is becoming as smoky as the City of Reno,
yet you keep inhaling your MTV and fashion.
You are a chain-smoker, reaching for your next pack,
addicted to popular opinion and propaganda.
You are destined for a diagnosis of "cancer of the mind",
and to be a cancer on this universe,
just like all the other lemmings.
Go, lemming, go! Fly away!
I will choose to soar.

Yeah, that's it. I know, crappy. Sucked for the whole damn class to have to hear it, but I don't really care. Whatev.

But it's funny, because the word "lemming" has always made me think of some little bird, like a kiwi or penguin or something lol. But my friend told me today that it's actually a little rodent...sooo the whole "fly away" thing doesn't exactly make sense...but it's a metaphor anyway so whatev. Anyways, yes, again, crap.

Haha it was funny though, cause I read my friend Alec's story to get it published. He writes the FUNNIEST stories EVER! They don't even make sense, but they're pure genius. It even came with a disclaimer, and an apology. Haha it was soooo funny, the whole class was like "What...the....fuck". And I was struggling not to crack up. And hey, I only cracked a few times, and I recovered pretty quickly! Go me! Hahaha Alec's stories are the best, I love him for them, they are pure genius. Pure.

Well time for me to get goin. Later gatorinos.

Mood:: Meh

TV:: HSN (eww, mom's idea, not mine.)

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Mood:: Eh

Music:: The Robot Ate Me ===> Song:: The Red-haired Girl

Hey there everyone. Time to fill you all in, eh wot wot?

I had an alright birthday I suppose. I took the day off. I didn't mean to, I was planning on going to school. But then I missed my bus so my mom just let me stay home. I spent the day with her, which really is NOT my ideal way to spend my birthday or any day. But we hung around the house for a while, then took off. We went to eat, I had a hamburger and fries and shake, and then to the mall. We walked around the mall, and I guess I was sposed to pick something out for my birthday, but I didn't. I hope she just lets me buy some CD's offline. But anyways, we just walked around, and I guess it was an OK time, but for some reason I just felt kind of sad. And I don't know why, I really don't. Maybe I guess I just kinda wished I could have spent the day with or at least seen my friends. I mean, I was kinda looking forward to having people tell me happy birthday at school. I wanted to see how many would actually remember. Or maybe it just didn't feel like a birthday. But I dunno, that shouldn't have bothered me, I really don't like birthdays. I mean, I like the stuff I get lol, I mean it's not important, but it's nice to have, and in a way I like how people treat me special...but in a way I don't. I mean, I don't know, I think it would be totally cool to get people presents on my birthday. I don't like how people feel like they HAVE to treat me really nice on my birthday. Like how people will say "Ok, 'cause it's your birthday". Like, it just seems weird to me. Don't like me or want to do things for me just because it's my birthday. It should be unconditional or not at all. I think I'm going to treat everyone like it's their birthday everyday...you know, minus the Happy Birthday Song. Cause really I should, isn't that how it should be?

Anyway, after that we went and saw a movie, "Connie and Carla". It was funny! I liked it.

The next day, we went out for a birthday dinner, since we didn't have time before. We went to the Outback, it was good, but I felt the same as the day before, and it pisses me off cause i don't know why. Maybe it was just those pesky hormones lol. Oh but I had a really good sundae, and it had a candle in it. Oh but what's funny is there were two other people in the same section as me also having birthday dinners. Wow

I can't really remember anything else special until Friday. I went to a barbeque with Cindy, at her mom's school (her mom is a teacher). It was fun, we got to just hang out. And we talked to this guy named Sylvester, and he played hackey sack with us and showed us this pond thing with snakes and "bullfrogs" (don't ask), and it was cool. The best part was just gettin to hang with Cindy though ^_^. Oh and there was a dessert auction and the Ameretto Cheesecake Cindy made went for THIRTY BUCKS!!! WOOHOO! GO CINDY!
I spent the night at her house that night, and tried to make her stay up late, but she fell asleep by one, the big baby. Lol, it was still fun though.

Saturday my mom made me go to work with her for a few hours. She works at an Alzheimer's facility, and she sent me off with the Activities Coordinator. God, it was so sad I was on the verge of tears the whole time almost. All the residents there just want out. That's all they want.

I.E.:

A guy and one of the Activities Coordinators, Megan, was talking to one of the residents, Calvin:

M: How are you today, Calvin?
C: Oh, not so good.
M: Oh, why's that?
C: I have these rental houses, and my sister is taking all the money form them, and I'm not getting any of it.
M: You know what? I think she's using it to pay your bills.
C: Bills, what bills?
M: For here. She's renting you a room downstairs, remember?
C: Oh, well I wish she wouldn't. I don't like it here, I just want to go home.

Is that not totally sad??? God that made me want to cry. And they all kept asking how to get out of there, or if I was gonna "get me out of here today?", and all that. I just wanted to bawl my eyes out.

It was a good experience though, and some of it was fun. Like, there was this one lady named Ann, and she seemed just normal, and she reminded me so much of my Grammy. Her voice sounded just like Gramma's, and she kept singing, which my Gram does. It made me miss Grammy! But Ann was a really nice lady, and she kept saying things like "Oh, you have such a beautiful face, you know that?" (Usually I would say "You're crazy" to someone who told me that, but I didn't think it would be a very polite thing to say to someone with Alzheimers...) and "You have a dimple riiight there, it's the cutest thing!". I miss my Grammy!!

There was this one lady named Helen, and she was sooo quiet when she spoke, but she was funny! She made me crack up! The lady I was with, the Activities Coordinator, Liz, was talking to her...

L: I haven't been bad lately...er, I mean, at all!
H: Aw, well that's too bad.

Hahaha! She said a bunch of funny stuff like that, it was hilarious.

There was this one lady, she kept saying "Oh, I have to go to the bathroom AWFUL bad!" even though she just went...and though that might sound funny on the surface, it's really not. Because she was really suffering from the disease. And she could hardly move, she had to use a wheelchair, and her hip hurt, and she was just in bad shape and really out of touch with reality.

And there were all these times where the residents would say something that was obviously not applicable to the situation, cause of the disease, of course.So sad :(. Like "We can go as soon as I pack up the dishes, ok?" And see, that's another sad thing, just about everything they said had something to do with getting out of the facility. They just want to leave. =(

I played ball with a few of them for quite a while. We just bounced this big rubber ball back and forth. There was me, Ann, Calvin, a man named Harlo, and the A.C. Liz. There was also another lady named Olga, but she was really out of it and just stared down at her lap the whole time. And a while into it Calvin's sister came to visit him, and she was really sweet too. And there was this guy who came in a ways through, but I could tell it was really hard for him to concentrate and play and all that, and we'd have to get his attention before we threw the ball to him, and he looked startled and a little shaken every time. It was so depressing. I felt so bad for them.

Hahaha there's this one guy there, Charlie, and he's this total ladies man!! It's so funny! There are women there who actually fight over him! And I was walking with him and I hear from behind us "Ooh Chhaaarrliiiee! Yoohoo!" and he looks at me and mumbles "Oh boy..." and turns around to the lady calling him and goes "Well, good afternoon!". So funny.

And there's this one lady Glorice. She has it pretty bad, and that's sad and all, but it's funny, because she'll be nicer to you if you compliment her hahaha. So like you have to say "Hello Glorice, you look lovely today!" and she'll open up. Lol. Through her age you can tell she used to be a raging beauty. She still is, just a wrinkly one.

When I was going back upstairs to see my mom, this one guy stops me and says:

Him: Excuse me, do you know, if I want to go east, when I get out of here, which path I should take?
Me: Uhhh....No, sorry, I don't.
H: Oh...well, don't you get people out of here?
M: No, sorry, that's not my job here.
H: Oh...well I was just wondering..I just..I just asked...why isn't that your job?
M: You know, I really don't know.
H: Why not?
M: Well, we can't always have the job we wish to have.
H: What is your job?
M: Um...Well, I'm the beauty stylist...so no, I can't help you get out, but call me if you ever need a perm, ok?
H: Oh! I could use a perm right now, thank you!
M: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm booked all this week! I'll give you a call when things settle down, ok?
H: That will be great, thank you!
M: You're very welcome, have a nice day Sir.
H: Same to you.

And I just walked off. It felt weird to just feed him all that bullshit, but that's what Liz was doing to all the residents, so I figured that's what I was supposed to do. Yeah, it's weird but that's what they do with them. Like, one of the residents insisted to speak with the CIA, so they called my mom (the receptionist), and had my mom pose as a representitive. It's crazy lol.

But see, that guy, too, just wanted to GET OUT of there! It's so sad. I know I just keep saying that, but it is! I'm kind of afraid to get old now. If I ever get to that point, where I'm in some facility, or I don't remember my firends and family, or I can barely move, or I'm completely out of touch with reality (even more than I am now lol), I hope they just pull the plug. I don't want to live like that.
But mostly I'm afraid to get old because of what could and will happen to the people I love. It's gonna kill me someday when all my friends start to die, and my parents are long gone, and I have to watch my friends be commited to nursing homes, or if one of my friends gets Alzheimers and doesn't knwo who the hell I am. Like seriously, Alzheimers runs in Cynthia's family. What if she gets it when we get old? That would kill me. I can't stand to watch my friends, or anyone for that matter, suffer, and Alzheimers is just about the most sad disease there is. And then as I watch her lose touch with conciousness, she'll also forget who I am. I can't bear to think about it.

Ahem, well, new subject. This is far too depressing.

Sunday I just hung out, I think. Then went to dinner with my Daddy. That's it I think.

Yesterday was Monday. With the WASL testing going on, our schedule was all screwy. Our periods went in this order: 3, 4, 1, 2. 3rd for one hour, 4th for two, and 1 and 2 for 1 1/2. Don't ask me why. I loved it though, I had art for two hours!! (And our teacher gave us all free soda, woohoo! Lol). And English was only for an hour! And I got to have lunch with Cindy and Kelly!!!! W00T!!! It was so great. So yeah, at the beginning of the day I was really happy, cause of the whole cool schedule-ness. But for some reason, I don't know why, but at the end of the day, I was just in a bad mood. Nothing had really gone wrong, but I just wanted to go home more than anything. And I felt like I had a short temper, and I dunno, it was just a really bad feeling. Hormones I guess haha. And yeah, like I said I just REALLY wanted to go home, I didn't want to be at school. BUT I had PLAY REHEARSAL so I had to stay an extra HOUR AND A HALF! AHHHHHH! GRRRR!!!!! It pissed me off! But then as soon as I got home I felt OK again. It was so weird.
Oh and then later, Cindy was sposed to meet our friend Alex at a Quiznos to hang out, and he invited me along but I didn't have a ride so I stayed at home. But Cindy went to the wrong quiznos hahahahaha. So she walked over to my house cause it was close by, then we hung for a bit and her parents came and picked her up. It was cool.

Today we had the same scedule, except we got EARLY DISMISSAL!!! WOOHOO! But we still had the same order of classes, except we didnt have the last period of the day (normal 2nd period) cause of the early out. But we still had 2 hours of art, and that was cool. And only an hour of English and Math, so that was really cool too. And lunch was fun again, cause again I got to hang with Cindy and Kell. And a few other people I don't usually get to see during lunch too, like Aaron, Anthony, Danielle, etc. It was nice to get to see them. And then there was only one of the usual people I hang out with, Jason, but he's a good one lol. Yeah in case you haven't noticed, the WASL schedule switched up all our lunches too.

Hmmmmm wellll, is there anything else you should know? Nope, I think I have you all filled in. Hell, I'm prolly missing something, but I'm too lazy to think. So I'm gonna let you all go. ...Wow this is a long entry. I guess that's what I get for waiting a week to update. Hey, did anyone actually read this whole thing?

Mood:: My nose itches

Music:: The Monolith ===> Song:: 43

Talking to:: Alan kinda

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Mood::

Talking to:: Dooze =-D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Mood::

Talking to:: Dooze still (Rawr!)

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Mood:: Momentarily ecstatic

TV:: Oprah (Hahaha)

GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT A GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dad got me a guitar for my birthday!!! GOBO!!! It's an Epiphone! Epiphone is a division of Gibson, which is like the best company. It's basically a second-rate Gibson, but still a very good guitar. And it's used, but in good condition, just a few little scratches. And it came with a case, an amp, extra strings, and an extra cord. Dude it rocks so hard. AHHHHHHHH I'm so stoked!

My dad and I celebrated my birthday yesterday. It's actually on Tuesday (only 2 days!!), but he works that day, and that's the day I'm celebrating with my mom, so we just did it yesterday. We went out to eat at a pretty nice restaraunt, Verizano's, and I had a $38 12 ounce lobster tail...NIIIIIICCCEE. And a virgin strawberry daquiri, yum. And my dad had an EXCELLENT glass of 30 year old Dow Port wine, and snuck me a sip...it was actually very good, really complex. And they brought me a free dessert with a CANDLE in it! Hehe I love it when they do that.

Oh and I bought two CD's today...


Ben Folds - "Rockin' The Suburbs"

and


Modest Mouse - "Good News For People Who Love Bad News"

I have listened to Ben Folds's yet, but I listened to Modest Mouse's and it seems to kick a moderate to mega huge amount of ass. And I have faith in Benny's.

Went over to Nate's earlier. Twas fun, played guitar. Then we came home and I showed him mine and he drooled. Hehehe. YAY! I love my guitar. And it was funny, when he left, my mom was like "Wow Chels, he's cute, you should date him!" and I was like "But mom, that's NATE!!" It was weird.

Well I gotta go...and listen to my new music...and play my guitar...and...man, life is GOOD.

Let's see how long that lasts!

Mood::

TV:: News

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Mood:: Pretty good

Music:: Luna ===> Song:: Astronaut

Talking to:: George kinda and Alex S.

Watching:: The Maury show is on, but I'm not really paying attention.

Today was a pretty good day! I didn't have to get up until almost 8, because I had an orthodontist appointment. They tightened the wire, so my teeth are a little sore, but they changed the bands and I got black and aqua.

When I got to school my lunch had JUST started, so that was awesome. And I got cookies =). Lunch was pretty cool today. That guy who likes me, remember I told all you guys about him, well he can be pretty crazy at times (more on that later prolly), anyway we'll call him "Chelsea Doll" (inside joke, long story) for now. OK so Chelsea doll comes, and I'm a little scared of him now (like I said, I’ll explain later), so right when I saw him, I was sitting on the stairs, with the wall to my left and Nate to my right. So since I just want him to not bug me, I turn to Nate and I’m like “Natey, save me!” and then I’m like “Oh crap I need someone to sit behind me!....ALEC! COME HERE!” and he runs over and says “Yes?” and I tell him to sit behind me, so he does. Then I think, “Well crap, I still need someone to sit in front of me”, so I say that to Nate and Nate goes “ALEX! Come sit in front of Chelsea! SIT ON HER LAP!!” and he does. It was so funny because Chelsea Doll looked like he was about to kill something.

*Started writing this yesterday, Friday, now it’s Saturday and I’m gonna finish writing it*

Then Scott comes over, and like, jumps on all of us, so I’m sitting there covered in guys, trying to avoid Chelsea Doll’s eyes, but when I do look over, he looks like he’s trying not to scream, and like he’s trying to think of something to say, but is kind of speechless…I felt kind of bad, almost.

It was cool though because Alex was listening to Modest Mouse, and he let me listen to it for like, the whole lunch period. I listened to “Float On” on repeat. I love that song.

At the end of lunch, I went to turn in my note to excuse me for being tardy, and then went to English.

DUDE. Total awesomeness. We were working, and I got called down to the office to turn in my schedule/registration for next year, because I hadn’t yet. Well all I had to do was turn in a little piece of paper, so it ended up taking about 2 minutes. So as I was going back to class, I see this guy Bryce, and I talk to him, and we end up not going back to class, and just walking around for the next 25 minutes and talking. It was so awesome, because it was during second lunch, so we just got to walk around and talk and talk to people and just hang out. Then we went back to class right before it ended, and got in no trouble. W00T!!! Bryce is cool.

Art was alright. We’re doing self-portraits though, and that’s pretty damn depressing. We have to spend the whole period looking in a mirror and then drawing ourselves. Not a pretty sight for me. But I sit with Kelly, Joscel, Davon, and Erin again, so that always makes things fun.

I forgot to go to the GSA meeting after school. Whoopsie! I was pretty pooped though, so I just went home and relaxed.

Later on, at about 6:30, I went to the Beamer Bash. It was awesome. There were a bunch of bands playing; good bands, too. And one of them was Ghost Runner On Third, which my friend from camp is in! It was so cool to see him, even though I didn’t really get to talk to him, because it’s been about nine months. Anyway, they kicked ass, and so did all the other bands. It was a blast, and I got a Go Ahead t-shirt for a buck! WOOHOO!

When I got home, I made some brownies and fell asleep on the couch.

So it was a pretty good day! Plus, it was FRIDAY!!! TGIF!!

Today, pretty soon, my dad and I are going to celebrate my birthday, which is in THREE DAYS!!! WOOHOO! Heh heh, any way. Yeah we’re gonna open presents! Yes! Haha, I don’t know what I’m getting. I know I was supposed to get a guitar, but it fell through. But I do know that what he got me is black, blue, cream, and silver, cause he told me. And he said there are probably other colors, but those are the ones he could think of. I wonder what it is! Perhaps it’s a black, blue, and cream guitar, with silver tuning pegs? =-D

Ok, you’re all filled in on my day yesterday, and my day so far today…..hmmm, anything else? Oh, there was a drama field trip. We were supposed to leave Thursday afternoon, go to eastern Washington, participate in a drama festival, and come home Sunday. But Cindy and I both decided not to go. It was a LOT of money for just one weekend, $120. And though it didn’t have to come out of my own pocket, I felt bad to make my dad pay for it. Plus there was stuff that I didn’t want to miss, like the Beamer Bash (and seeing Colin!). Plus, my dad said if I didn’t go, he’d let me keep the $50 that would have went to paying for my motel room!!! YES! I just can’t pass up on a $50 deal like that. So, even though everyone really wanted us to go, we opted to stay. I felt kind of bad, because they were basically begging us, and even offered to help pay. But then again, I would have felt bad to make my dad pay. So…I don’t know.

Oh, ok, now I get to tell you why I’m afraid of Chelsea Doll. Ok, I spoke with this girl who he used to like…and he basically stalked her!!! Seriously, he followed her home one day and wouldn’t leave!! And I think she said that he did it more than once, too. Seriously, the more I hear about this guy, the more I realize just how strange he is. So that’s why I just want to try to avoid him, you know? I’m hoping if we don’t interact much, he’ll forget about me, and move on to another girl before he has the chance to stalk me. O_O

Welllll….is there anything else you guys should know? Umm…no prolly not. So, I get I better head out. See’ya round.

Mood:: Faux Birthday-girl

Music:: The Heavenly States ==> Song:: The Story Of

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