Mood:: SAD

Talking to:: Leif and Cortney

Oh my God...I can't believe this is happening....I'm so sad....The guy I have liked more than I have liked any guy ever in my life...just got a girlfriend.

I realized a while ago that I could never have him...but it still hurt. It just solidified things. And even just him having a girlfriend, the part meanin he couldnt be mine, that wasnt so bad. Because I already knew I couldnt have him. It still sucked majorly, but it wasnt the worst part.

The worst part was that, after I was already feeling sad about hearing him talk about her, and feeling sad because I knew he had a girlfriend...I started to think.

And I thought of him holding her hand, and telling her she was beautiful, and hugging her...and kissing her...And it made me sick. I really felt like I was going to vomit. And I was too sad to cry, all I could do was sit there. Just sit there and drown.

Mood: :(

Talking to:: Leif and Cortney

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Mood:: I feel like doing some quizzes

Music:: Weezer===> Song:: Your Room


You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Uhh. Ok.


Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

*Sniffle* where's my emo?

You are Victoria of England. You are not afraid of
hard work but still have time for the arts.
You are very open with your emotions but if you
get hurt once you find it hard to get back up
again. You bring peace, ease and prosperity to
the world. As is said of Queen Victoria by
A.J. Balfour, 'She passed away, I believe,
without an enemy in the world, for those who
love not England love her'. Please rate my
quiz.


What famous female ruler are you? (written for the girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

OOh I like the British! =-D


You are Snoopy!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hehe I wuv Snoopy. I saw a neato snoopy sweatshirt tat had snoopy ears on the hood.


Sandals- peaceful, daydreamy, and thoughtful, you
often find yourself staring into space. When
you aren't out volunteering you are often just
dreaming away. You enjoy the company of
friends sometimes but enjoy peace and quiet.
[please vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love daydreaming..perfect escape...

OK well thats it for now. I may or may not be back later. Bye

Mood:: Quizzy

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: So Low

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Mood:: Hyper kinda

Music:: O Canada! haha just kidding...Weezer ===> Song:: Mad Kow

Talking to:: Bri Bri


You are YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION.
Sometimes, you wonder why you couldn't just be
Canadian. Some people say you are weird. You
have an interesting sense of humor and a
meaningless life. But, you're nearly Canadian,
so did you expect better?


Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hahahaha
I SO wish I was Canadian...that would be awesome possum! Me and Cindy might move to Canada when we're 18 haha. That would be awesome.
Haha the funny thing is, though, that i dont even remember that show lol.

ANyway...

I went to the first GSA meeting today at my school. GSA is Gay Straight Alliance by the way. I'm the straight part lol. But I compltely support gays. So yeah thats why I'm in the club, and proud of it! It seems like it's gonna be cool. There as about 10-15 of us, and onlyone gay! That was the president of the club, Kip. Kip is such a very cool guy. Anyway. It was cool. I hope we do lots of community service type things, like raising awareness and whatnot, and rallies, and protests, and all that. I just don't understand people who have problems with gays...I could go way into that, into homophobia and religion and all, but it would be too much work haha, and im sure you all know all about it. But yeah I just dont unerstand those people, they really make me mad. But oh well. You know theres a lot of controversy surrounding the GSA. There have even been threats by people to physically beat up the members. And I'm sure we'll allget trash talked, and accused of being gay even if we arent. But for some reason I just dont care. Im not afraid to be beat...I dont know why...I just dont really care. If people are stupid enough to want to hurt me just because of my beliefs and opinions, then thats their problem. I think I would just sit there and take it, and curl into a ball, and try to block it out. I dont think I'd even try to run. I wonder how they would react. Would they really be low enoug to beat up a girl doing nothing to defend herself? I guess they might be. In that case, I would jut take it, passively. Im not afraid to be beaten.
I know I should be...Im just not. Is there something wrong with me? And as far as the trash talking and gay comments, i really couldnt care less. I dont give a shit what people think of me. Not at all. If they want to think im gay or talk crap about me, what the fuck ever. Especially if I dont even know the people. *Oh no! Some guy I dont know doesnt like me! Ahh!* Pssh.

Enough ranting.

My moms at Lincolns for the weeknd. GOBO! Um yeah anyways, so thats cool. But I dont know what Im doing with my weekend. Oh well, doesnt matter I guess.

Well I guess I'll go now. Nothing much else to say.

Oh, except I just consumed the rough equivelant of 4 cups of coffee, caffeine-wise. Its caled eating 8 pieces of Bolt! gum. Haha. Hmmdidnt mke me as hyper as I thought it would. I couldnt sit still for a while though. Hmm

Mood:: *shrug*

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: Sugar Booger

Talking to:: Karen

P.S.
I was watching it rain today during English class. It was so beautiful. The raindrops hitting the black pavement made the whole road look like it was sparkling. It was amazing, it completely mimicked a beautiful clear night sky with millions of shimmering stars. It was awesome...my friends were all talking and I was just standing there looking out the window alone, at the natural art. My friends kept asking me "are you havin fun there chels?" like i was crazy, and I'd just say "yep" and keep watchin, and theyd just go back to talking. And then since I was looking out, a bunch of other people started looking out too, and they saw a goose and were like "ooh look at the goose! its not even moving! is it real? cool!" and all that...i was surprised that none of tem noticed the beauty that I saw. Then again I wasnt surprised because their minds are so full of other things, that I just dont think they took the time to notice. I guess. But I did. I noticed that, and I noticed the raindrops running down the window, and they looked just like tears. And noticed that the raindrops on the pong made it look like a big piece of silk, with little waves fluttering across its surface. And that the grass was getting little patches of puddles on it, and you could see the reflection of the trees in them, blowing in the wind, and the clouds. The clouds were so pretty. Puffy grey and white and they covered the whole sky. It was just a really lovely scene. But everyone was so interesting in the solitary goose, just standing there, not moving. I just dont understand them.

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Mood:: I have to ppeeeeee

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: Starlight

Talking to:: Bri kinda

Mood:: Sleepy? I dunno

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: Jamie

Talking to:: Leify

HI!

What's up?
Neato, same here.

I have had an interesting week. Well one day. Monday.:

You know that guy I told you about, "Mr. X", and we both like eachother?? Yeah welllll we....HELD HANDS! WOOHOO! Lol I know I sound pitiful, especially to all you people out there gettin some action haha, but hey, it was my first time holdin a guy's hand! *Blush blush blush*

<===Innocent

But im not REALLY innocent ===>

Its just that usually guys dont like me, which makes me SAD ===>

<=== And a bit mad too.

And it's all cause Im fat ===>

<=== And ugly.

<===But I'm actually kinda happy...

Cause he likes me!

And that makes me one happy puppy! ===>

Cause you know what this might mean in the World of Chelsea soon, right?

===> ?

NO, YOU PERVERT!

? <===YUP!

I hope!

Anyway, I'm sure youre prolly thinking "more details, less smilies!". Or not. Never-the-less, you'll be getting just that. No promises.

Well, ever since me and "Mr. X"'s mutual friend, "N", found out Mr. X and I both liked eachother, he's been trying to set us up. Which isnt a bad thing. And he's actually been doing a pretty good job. He makes it really obvious, which I thought would be bad, but for Mr. X's and my situation, it works well. Because I think it needs to be that way for us, since we both know we both like eacother, but its not officialy out in the open lol. But anyways. Mr X rode home on the bus with N and I since he was going over to N's house that day. About half way through the bus ride, N grabs both Mr. X's and my hands and puts them together, so our hands are on top of eachothers, and once N let go, neither of us let go of eachother's hands! So then a couple minutes/seconds/something (WOW i wasnt able to keep time!) later, N grabs me and X's hands again, and this time, links our fingers so we're really holding hands, and again neither of us let go! Then another few minutes later N was like "You guys are doing it all wrong!" cause i was sitting a seat behind X so our hands were all turned around and stuff so I was like "Well we're not exactly in the perfect positions for it, I'm kinda sitting behind him!" and N was like, "well at this next stop, ill switch places with you", and he did. So i went and sat by X, and kinda held my hand up for him, and he grabbed it and held it. Anyways I got N to invite me over lol. When we were getting off the bus I had to let go of X's hand, to get off. But then when we were walking to N's house, we were about half way there and N put me an X's hands together again, cause me and X are both too shy to >.<;;. But anyway we held hands and walked to N's ^_^. When we got to N's his parents were there, so right before we went inside, X looked at me and kinda let go of my hand, and I let go of his. We got inside and started watchin a movie, and when N's parents left the room, N walked over to me n X and was like "Ugh I cant do this for you guys EVERY time!" and made us hold hands again hahaha. Then N's parents started to come into the room so I let go of X's hand real quick. And that was the last time we held hands, because N was on the phone with his girlfriend the whole rest of the time, so he was too distracted to do anything about it, and me and X were both too shy. BUT, when i had to walk home to write a note to my mom telling her where I was, X walked me, an I was surprised because we were able to hold a conversation pretty much the WHOLE time! I was so happy! I was surprised because he's SO shy and quiet usually, so I was really afraid he was just gonna be really quiet and not talk at all but hw wasn't quiet and he talked plenty! YAY! That means theres hope for us after all! lol. Cause I dont know if a relationship (if we ever have one) would be able to work if he was as quiet as I thought he was gonna be. Soo YAY! OH and then X and N walked me home and when we got to my house we were sayin bye, and they both said bye and N turned around to walk off and X was starting to and I went up and just gave him a hug! w00tw00t! GO ME! Lol, I think he was a little shocked! It took him a second to hug back (GOD i HOPE that was just shock!!!). ANyways then I went inside and that was that. It was a good day!!!

Today, was a bit less exciting. I sewed my pants.
There was a big rip in the crotch of my favorite pants!!
And I wanted to wear them tomarrow...
And my mom's gone for the night...
I had never sewn before.
I got out her sewing schtuff.
I threaded the needle. It took 50,000 tries.
I used red thread, on my black pants with silver stripes.
I don't mind the red, I think it looks neato.
I cannot sew.
But I did it anyway!
It looks funny, since it was my first time.
But it worked!
When I was done sewing the rip...
I decided to sew one of my Weezer patches on over where I had just sewn,
(I was in a sewing frenzy)
So now,
I have a Weezer patch on my crotch!
(I've got em just where I want em! ;P)
But...
It wouldnt work sewn all the way down,
And part of the sewing ripped off.
The bottom and the sides.
So now its just connected on the top,
And you can lift i up, like a lil flap.
Wonder what's under THAT flap?!
Anyhoo,
I'm suffering from major bloodloss,
due to pokes from a NEEDLE.
I poked my fingers nearly 10 times,
I poked my legs and stomach twice,
and I even poked my butt once.
Thatll teach me to sit on needles.
And now I feel all...
WOOZLEY.
So I have to go,
before I faint,
or something.

Mood:: Woozely?

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: Your Sister

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Mood:: Sleepy tired

Music:: Ben Folds Five ===> Song:: Video

Talking to:: Matt Matty Matterson

Hey everyone. And you too. Hi.

I haven't written in a few days, so here i am. Anything new with you? Uh huh, thats cool, yup...he said WHAT?! Oh no he di-int! He did? No. No. He didnt. He did! Wow. ...Glad we had this little chat.

Can't write for much longer, cause my mom will be home soon. Just a warning.

I'm having fun, cause I'm listening to anew Ben Folds Five CD. Well its not new, just new to me. ell all the songs but 4 are new to me. Me and my friend Aaron traded our BF5 CD's for a lil while. So he has my copy of "Whatever And Ever Amen", their second CD, and I have his "Ben Folds Five", their first. I want to get all of their CD's ASAP though, cause i looove them, theyre my second favorite band, after Weezer and tied with Ben Kweller.

Art class was fun today, we had a sub, so we goofed off the whole time. Me and Kelly and Davon talked the whole time, and doodled. We drew a funny picture of Ms. Atkins, the band teacher. She's Kelly's orchestra and advisory teacher, and my former band teacer. Neither of us like her...no one does. ANyways we drew that and it was funny and I got to keep it. And we all drew pictures of eachother. Kelly drew Davon with a violin for some reason saying "I'm Davon and I'm SO COOL! (NOT)" And he drew one of me flailing my arms arund, with funny look on my face, and a Weezer shirt on (woohoo), and i was saying "Shut up Davon!" cause say it all th time haha. And then I drew one of Kelly, a simple stic fiure saying "It'sa me, Kellyo!" It was fuuuun. And Kayla gave me a bunch of Hershey's Kisses. I ate them, and they tasted like childhood.

OH MAN! I read an AWESOME(!!!) book! It's called "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and its so cool. I reccomend it to all of you. Its so good. I guess it's just about this shy guy going through high school and stuff, but like he has certain problems and stuff, but i cant tell you to much about it, ause idnt want to,cause im toolazy, and cause you really should read it. Its pretty short, it only took me a day or two, so just read it. I bet you'll like it!

Well...mom should be home any second, so I'ma signin off! BYE!

Mood:: Boxing's been good to me, Howard.

Music:: Ben Folds Five ===> Song:: Boxing

Talking to:: Matt andJoscel kinda

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