Mood: Sleep-deprived

Music:: BK ===> Song:: It's Not Fair

Heya guys, it's like 8:30 am and I've been up for almost an hour. That is NOT cool. And WHY have I been up since 7:45, you ask?? DAMNED IF I KNOW! RR! I just woke up! It PISSED me off, cause I didnt get to sleep til past 3am. Thats not a lot of sleep. I triegoing back to sleep but couldnt. Grrrrrr. Dag nabit.

Let's see, wha have I done sine I last wrote? Not too much, just talked to people and whatnot. I WAS..talking to this guy but he left in the middle of our..conversation! And it was a good conversation too! Dang him! He just signed off all of the sudden, no goodbye, no warning, nothing. So then I had nothing to do and was forced to go to sleep. Poo.

I can't believe we have to go back to school on Monday. Mucho el sucko big time-o. Grande poopo.

Well I reallyhvenothing t do until afternoon or evening, so chances are I'll write again...possibly several times, depending on my level of boredom. But as for now, I must bid you FAREWELL!

I think I'll go take a shower...
*Aint nobody dope (nose) as me, I'm just so fresh so clean! SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN CLEAN!*
Thats my shower song. I add the "nose" part because then it forms "Dope Nose", which is a Weezer song. And a great one at that! Just like all their songs...^_^
My other shower song is "We Can Dance If We Wanna" or whatever it's called, but I'm a dirty theif and I stole that from my friend lol.
Anyways, with all this shower talk, I'm still not showering, so it's time for me to go SHOWER! Yippee.

Mood:: Shoowweerrryyyy

Music:: BK ===> Song:: Smile

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Mood:: Bored

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: Let's Sew Our Pants Together

Talking to:: Katie and Kevin

WOW I haven't written in almost TWO WEEKS! That is SO unlike me. Wow. But hey, here I am. Yay for you (not.).

Hmmm not too much has happened in the past two or so weeks. Let's seeeee... Remember me telling you all about "X"? The guy who likes me? Well let's see, he got asked out. He said yes. Two days later the girl dumped him, because he didnt talk enough. Thats one thing I'm worried about. If I go out with this guy, is he gonna be so quiet that I can't hold a conversation with him? That would be a problem. But I'll give him a shot anyhoo. So he's shy, no big deal. Right? O.O I wonder if I can break him out of is shell. I'm probably going to see him tomarrow, he's probably spending the night at my good buddy Nate's house, and Nate lives just down the street. I go over there all the time, and he wants me to come hang out tomarrow. Man, last time I was there and X was there, Nate was trying to hook us up the whole time. It was funny cause he was realy obvious about it. But both X and I were too shy to do anything. But I think he's even more shy than I am. So i guess if I want to make this work I'm going to have to take the lead...which I'm really not comfortable with, thats just not my nature, I prefer guys to make the moves. And me asking the guy out certainly isnt how I pictured getting my first boyfriend...then again I always have these far-fetched romantic ideas in my head that will probably never happen, or not for me at least. But I'd really prefer the guy to ask me out, and to be at least a lil romantic about it. In fact, I just want the whole ask-out thing to be romantic, even if I ask him. But I would feel so weird being all romantic to a guy. It just seems weird to have the girl sweep the guy off his feet. What do you guys think? What should i do?

This whole past week has been Winter Break. WOOHOO! It has been awesome, very relaxing, I've caught up on a lot of sleep. I havent done too much, just hung out mostly, but there were a few fun things. First, Cynthia spent the night at my dads house with me o Sunday night. We first went to see 2 movies with my dad, on a lil Movie Marathon hehe. The ones me and my dad are famous for, paying fr one movie and then staying to see 2 or 3. We saw Cold Mountain and Monster. They werent really my kinda movies. But Cold Mountain was pretty good, I gave it a 7/10. Monster I only gave a 6. It just wasnt all that great. But anyways it was still fun. Then yeah me and Cindy went back to my dads and just hung out all night. I made her stay up again, as usual, until she was getting angry, and violent. Thats my Cindy!

Tuesday my mom was gone at her b/f's so I went over and hung out with Nate from like 1am to 4am, it was fun. He was on the phone with Sarah the whole time, and yet managed to not ignore me, or her for that matter. I talked to Sarah for awhile too, shes so cool, gotta luv 'er. She and Nate are such a cute couple! I helped set em up ya know. GO ME! Hahaha. OH ad we watched the Sum 41 DVD it was soo fuunnnaayyy! Ahh and every member of Sum41 is hhhootttt! Especially CONE! Ooooh babay! Lol. ANyways...

Wednesday I went with my dad into Seattle for the day. First we went to the zoo, which was AWESOME, as usual. I LLLOOOOVVVEE the zoo!!! SO much! Its the best thing EVARRR!!! So yea, we went there, and then we went and ate at some place, and I had steak! YUMMY! And then we went and saw a cool movie about the Vietnam War and this guy, McNamara, called "Fog Of War". I doubt any of you have heard of it, its an arthouse film, but it was pretty good and i gave it a 6.5/10. Dad didnt really like it at all and he gave it a 5.

Thursday i was sposed to go to a movie with Leif and Cindy but I couldnt cause i didnt have any moolah lol. But it was still a good day because at 7 was Cortney's lil get-together. And it was her, me, Cindy, Kelly and Kristen. It was really awesome cause i got to see Kristen for the first time in months. Stupid Federal Way High, stealing my Kristen away from me! WHo do they think they are! I MISS KRISTEN! Oh well at least i got to see her :-D. It was so much fun, we all just hung out, it was just like old times! The only thing that woulda mdeit beter i if Joscel was there, she couldnt make it. DANG! But it was still great. SO FUN.

And now its friday and my moms gone, but i have one to come over and...keep me company...heh heh heh...

Well I'm sick of writing, but i'll prolly write more later, seeya

Mood:: Stuff

Music:: BK ===> Song:: It's Up To You

Talking to:: Sean

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Mood:: Wow

Music:: Ben Kweller ===> Song:: Lizzy

How is everyone? Um, both of you. Seriously, Cindy, Leif, how the heck are ya? Lol

Mommy's at Linc-linc's again, you all (both) know wat that means! Another latenigt of sittin online writin pointless entris in my NuTang! That'sright, I gotmy Mountain Dew right here! Oh yeah, lots of caffeine! Hahaha

Wow I've had a busy weekend! Here it is:

Friday:: Performed our school play for the second time. It went well enough. Afterwards some of the cast went to Arby's and hung out for an hour or two. There was me, Lora, Hester, Karen, Jordan, Dave (And Rodney), Sarah, Angela, and Leif and his friend (I dont know her name)were there for a while but they left early, sadly. But man it was fun! Just all of us hangin out, bein dumb. Haha, good times! Dave was being SOOOO funny!!! It was totally surprising though, because he's usually, like, in class, pretty quiet andsy an reserved and introverted, then you ge him outside of school, and suddenly he's Rodney, please take his number. Lololololol god it was incredibly funny,there was too mch funny stuff for me to list off here so youll have to take my word for it. But yeah it was a total blast. We gave Dave, Jordan, and Karen a ride home, which was also fun. Lol

Saturday:: Performed the play for the last time! It went well again. But *after the show, was the after party!* hahaha. It as AWESOME! Even better than Friday night. It ws just all of us hangin out at Hester's but it was just so fun! There were a few more people there this time too, like Kevin, Katie, Aaron, Cindy (as our groupie LOL), and i dunno, a couple others. It was the greatest, we dressed up Jordan! We gavehim full make up (eye shadow, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, blush, everything), curled his hair and put sparkles in it, painted his nails hot-pink, and put him in a dress! It was the best! He was such a great sport (except he wouldnt let us take blackmail photos)! Gotta love a guy who's comfortable enough with his sexuality to let ya do that. Though I think he had the right idea, he had about 10 girls crawling all over him the whole time hahaha, though I'm pretty sure Christie was the only girl he wanted on him lol. My money is on them going out sometime by the end of the year. And Aaron and Karen too maybe, except Aaron says he's not ready for a gf. But hey, I'm gonna stop gossiping now lol. Back to my boring story! Another really fun part was just all of us piling onto the couch! It was great! First the whole group did it, god there had to be 15 of us on one lil couch. Haha. Then later on, me, Katie, Kevin, and Dave all piled on for a while, which was fun. Except fo Dave farting, that was just gross. BIG turnoff! But besides that it was fun. Kevin is surprisingly comfy. Anyways, we gave Karen and Dave another ride hm, fun fun. I'm now quite confident that I could stalk either of hem at will. BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA! ;)

Ah, but the weekend also brought on more confusion in my life. I now like another guy. I'm up to a few now, which is bad. It's not a good thing to have crushes on mutiple guys at once, it never ends up good, and its always confusing. Besides, that's all I need, another unattainable guy! Well, I mean, I don't know yet if he's unattainable to me or not, but Id be surprised if he was into me, just because of how my life usually ends up. But that would be really cool if he was! He's a really nice and cool guy (and cute too :-D) But hey. Who knows?

Mood:: Confuzzled

Music:: Ben Kweller ===> Song:: Silent Scene

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Mood:: Still confused

Music:: Staind ===> Song:: Price To Play

P.S.

In case you were wondering why I'm home, in the middle of a school day, here's the scene:

I had an ortho appt. this morning, at 8:30 or so, so I got up at like 8 (YAY sleep!) and so then I went to the appt, got done at like 9:45, drove home to get some tylenol, and then convinced my grandma to let me stay home th rest of the day instead of going back to school ("Grandma, I'm really feeling icky, kinda sick, and my teeth hurt, I think it would be better if I juststayed home and took i easy for the rest of the day, so I can make sure I'll be ok for the play tonight"). DnI'mslick. ;). So now I get to hang out for the rest of the day! By te way I'm not sick at all and my teeth havent hurt at all either. :-D

Mood:: Wondering

Music:: Mariah Carey ===> Song:: Fantasy

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Mood:: Wondermentness

Music:: Weezer ===> Song:: December

Hey guys, I know I haven't written in a while. Shame on me! (*Shaaammee!*)

Here's the lowdown, keep it on the downlow:

We're finally performing our school play, Antigone, after 5 months of rehearsals, and 3 postponments of performances, it's finally time. Our opening show was ast night, and we have two more, one tonight, and one tomarrow night, then we're all done!ur performance went pretty well last night. So yay! And after the final performance on Saturday, Hester is trowing a cast party for everyone, so that's gonna be really fun. It's fnny, at first I didn't like Hester, without even knowing her, becaue she got the lead, and i wanted it lol. I mean, I didnt hte her, I was just like "why her!" and i was really jelous, so that bred a lil dislike. Now Ive gotten to know her and we're friends. So all is well. Haha anyways, the best part of last night was that we got to put make-up on the guys, well, jordan anyway. Such a good sport. It was so much fun, and funny. Jordans awesome though, and he gave us a free peep show. Hahaha I know you must be confused, ok, we were in te green room and he changed out of his costume so he was in his boxer-briefs and a shirt, lol, so it wasnt REEEAAALL peep show, but still a good time.

As for me, right now I'm really just wondering about how my life is going to turn out, and I feel like I'm just along for the ride. Which i guess is true, right? I'm really confused at the moment. The guy I've very strongly liked for months now...is...i dunno. Confusing, to say the least. Something happened with us, I cant say what because of the whole public log thing, nuthin bad, twas just hard for me & made me sad, and made it hard to be around him. And I've been trying to make an effort lately to talk to him and be around him, because I dont want us to drift apart and lose our friendship, because he's a really good friend of mine, my best guy friend in fact, so I've been trying to make the effort, even tough it hurts to be around him...knowing i cant have him...but...he just seems different. Not totally, it just seems like...some of the magic is gone. He's not as sweet as he always has been before, and it seems like he's not making the effort to carry a conversation when we talk. He never calls m really anymore, I have to call him, where as before it was 75% him calling me, and 25% me calling him, now it's like reversed. It just seems like he doesnt want to be around me very much. I mean, dont get me wrong, it's not as different as it may be sounding, he's still sweet and all, and he's still himself...in a way...but in a way its a lot different too. Maybe I'm just overreacting, or overcomplicating things. I hope so, because i dont want to lose him.

In other news, I found out someone likes me! And would date me! I wont say his name, for his sake, we'll just call him X. But YAY, cause I like him too so far. but theres a couple things that might keep me from doing anything about it for the moment..
A) I don't really know him well enough yet, I'd have to get to know him a bit better first.
B) I'm still not over the guy mentioned above, we'll call him Y, and at the moment it feels like i never will be, at least not fully...And I don't know if it's fair to X to go out with him when I still feel so strongly for Y...I mean, it's not like I would ever ever ever do anything with or persue Y if I was with X, if i have a boyfriend I'm going to be comletely committed to him and only him, but still...i just don't know if it's te right thing to do...someone help!!!

I need all your guys's advice! please comment! help!

Mood:: Help!

Music:: Mest ===> Song:: Chelsea

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Mood:: Somewhat resolved

Music:: Weezer ===> Son: December

Well well, it's 11:30, mom's spending the night at Lincoln's again, and I get to stay up as late as I please. Yay for me! Right now, I'm just chillaxing with my music, and surfin the net, wishing someone was on for me to talk to, haha. But it's good times. It would be better if my brothers weren't here though, cause ten I could blast my music! But theyre prett good, they dont tell me to go to bed or anything like that usually, and they dont go crying to mommy about my sleeping habits. Yay! Ah and it's also cool because now I get to sleep in my mom's bed, which is a queen size (mine's only a twin), and she has this awesome comforter that is surprisingly INCREDIBLY comfortable. It's flannel and pretty new and all puffy and I love snuggling up to it. But i wouldnt want to slee in my moms bed every night, I love my own bed to much, I wouldnt trade it fr any other bed. Its nice to have a change once in a while though.

I'm tired but then I'm not. I know I'm gonna be incredibly tired tomarrow morning, and all day tonmarrow, until nighttime, when suddenly I'm all alert and perky. Bwahaha I am a creature of the night. Heh but anyways. I know even if I go lay down to go to sleep, even if i am tired, i have way too much on my mind right now to sleep right away. Ugh I need some thinking time. Where is my dark room! Mwahahaha! Lol i dont get it too much either. Anyways, another thing I like about my moms room when Im going to bed is that since thecomputer isin there, I can play files off of kazaa that i dont have on CD's yet as I'm going to bed. Its spawsomey major.

Guess I better go, maybe Ill try to sleep...and prolly end up thinking for a few hours then finally drifting off into a restless sleep.

Which reminds me. Last night I had a dream, almost a nightmare. Not quite. but almost. Anyways, in the dream my (former) band teacher MADE me stay i band (instead of switching into advanced drama like i did in real life and tried to do in the dream)! AHHHH! How she dd it was, since she made us sign a contract (in real life, I heard it was for the whole school year, but im not sure), she brought up a clause in thecontract (exclusive to the dream) that said that she had the right to make us stay in band for that semester if we didnt get 100% on the last written band test we took. And in the dream I missed ONE question on it (and the test didnt even have to do with band, it was like, questions about a childrens storybook orsomething), n sh was like "HA! You left tat one blank! and I was like "Well yeah, i didnt get that part," and she said "HA! Now you haveto stay in band!" So I dunno, the whole rest of the dream i was trying to make up the test and finish the one problem i missed and all. It was very weird. Anyways talk to you guys later.

Nighty night night

Mood:: A lil sleepy

Music:: None

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