sooooo hungrrryyy....

SO hungry!

i'm doing a pre-diet program fast for two days, which means i can only consume lemon water, herbal tea, and juice for 48 HOURS. *dies*

i kid you not, if this exercise business doesn't make me into a hardbody, there will be bloodshed.

--;

i've been spending all my down time (ie, the forty-five minutes in between laundry cycles) studying nutrition manuals, like, religiously, so there won't be any nutang updates for a wee bit. umm...yeah.

wish me luck with my fasting business. i feel all light headed...the room is spinning...urghlhlgl.

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current anthem: "take a bow" - madonna

before i begin this illuminating entry, let me just inform the nutang populace that i have changed my password. i'm sick of all you bastards letting yourselves into my account and either reading blocked entries or changing stuff around.

it's not funny. it's not appreciated. and now you can never do it again! *self-satisfied smirk*

'kay, now that that's said.

_____________________________________________________________


inspiration is a funny thing. for some people, it comes from the most obvious places...like, i dunno. a ten-year-old kid with no face and leukemia or something. for blokes (i've gone completely british for a while, and yes. i know a "bloke" is a dude, whatever) like me, inspiration is borne of the little insignificant things that make up everyday life. like...the sky. or a piece of cheese. or an incredibly amazing book about an incredibly amazing person who is admittedly more than insignificant. my mom took me to target, which is the bloody best store evar in my humble opinion, and we bought this book. gawd, this...this book was inspirational in every sense of the word. it wasn't about cheese OR a blind deaf epileptic ballet dancer. it was about a british (!!!) lady jemima who was just, like, fat, and she had a crush on her hott co-worker...and i'm too excited to even explain what the dang thing was even about, gawd i'm so naff...

*shuddery sigh*

forget it. basically, fat lady gets all skinny-fied and whatever, meets man of nightmares and then realizes that the guy she'd wanted all along was the one back home, the co-worker fellow. yuh. trust me, it was a lot more romantical and british than all that, but lemme tell you, i am INSPIRED. you read book, right now, because it's summer and there's nothing better to do: jemima j., by jane green. anyway.

i am gonna slim down and meet my OWN sexy co-worker!

i have the motivation.
i have the resources.
i have the time.
i have the plan.

i have my reasons...

when you all see me, i won't be the fat, grotesque, lard-ish girl beastbiancathing you remember.

i'm gonna be skinny, and cayoot, and my name will be bridgie, because it's british. sort of.

and before you jump in with the self-image crap, i'm doing this for me. i hate myself the way i am, and i know who i want to be, and i know i'll be happier THAT way. so there.

edit-> omg, look how opinionated i am today! *euphoric*

Bubbles4581 [1:35 AM]: are you planning on changing anything else before school starts?
TRYtoNONconform [1:35 AM]: haha
TRYtoNONconform [1:36 AM]: um...i dont know, i was thinking about getting a phatty tatoo on my arm, and maybe getting my tongue pierced
Bubbles4581 [1:36 AM]: !?
Bubbles4581 [1:36 AM]: you joke wif me or what?
TRYtoNONconform [1:37 AM]: hahaha, yeah, i am...my parents would never let me get that...
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: i want my belly button pierced.
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: maybe my tongue pierced to shock people...
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: definitely a tattoo.
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: um...
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: and lipo!
TRYtoNONconform [1:38 AM]: ew, no, too many people have their belly button pierced
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: sooo?
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: too many people have eyes.
Bubbles4581 [1:38 AM]: oh no, now i shouldn't have eyes.
Bubbles4581 [1:39 AM]: i would hate to be a conformist like that.
TRYtoNONconform [1:39 AM]: uh, that would suck
Bubbles4581 [1:39 AM]: i'm trying to make a point.
Bubbles4581 [1:39 AM]: i hate it when people try to push the envelope that way.
Bubbles4581 [1:39 AM]: "oh no! everyone has such-and-such shoes! i refuse to conform and buy them."
TRYtoNONconform [1:40 AM]: lol
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: what they don't realize is they're only stepping into another mold.
TRYtoNONconform [1:40 AM]: no, its not that....plus, it kinda make people look like whores
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: non-conformists are a dime a dozen.
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: shhh, i'm ranting.
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: um.
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: it's not rebellion if everyone else is rebelling too.
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: i think you should make your own decisions based on you, not what everyone else thinks or feels.
Bubbles4581 [1:40 AM]: so what if they have such-and-such shoes?
TRYtoNONconform [1:41 AM]: i totally agree
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: you like them, you get them.
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: ...wow, that felt really good.
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: hmmm.
TRYtoNONconform [1:41 AM]: yeah....but, i dunno. maybe its also cuz im not interested in getting my belly buttong pierced
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: your buttong?
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: lmao.
Bubbles4581 [1:41 AM]: uh, right-o.
TRYtoNONconform [1:41 AM]: button....lol

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is love. sweet love.

i love you all. <3 if i've ever said or done anything to make you feel unloved, i'm sorry.

*hug*

edit, later--> wow, that was stupid.

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my backside hurts so much. i have been sitting on it all. day. long.

*sigh*

i went to work with my daddy, which meant being perched in a carseat with little or no buttock support for HOURS. *cries* i've heard that a plethora of ointment might soothe the pain, but i dunno if i want it...like...seeping through my sweats or anything...

*hurries to change subject*

um. i had salad for lunch?

*decides to apply ointment*

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there are four kinds of people in the world: strangers, friends, enemies, and family. right? no gray area in between. a family member can't be a stranger; a friend can't be an enemy; and a stranger can't be a friend.

...right?

i'm finding that this isn't true, at least not so much for my life. maybe it's my whole paranoia issue creeping up on me again...or maybe for once, i've nailed the problem. all i know is, is that it seems the world is collapsing in on itself.

my friends hate me.
i don't know my own family anymore.
i'm finding comfort in those that i barely know, or don't know at all.

WTF?

i don't understand people.

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so, yeah, i'm updating...again, but only to share this with you, the FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE OMG. many many many props to cleolinda, who has a gift that only few of us are lucky to witness in a lifetime. *melodramatic*

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in Fifteen Minutes

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