Did I ever tell you guys about monster baby arm? No? Well, listen up.

One Friday eve about a month ago, I was walking home from my train stop. I had gotten off of work early and had some plans or something that I was excited about. I was also pleased by the weather conditions, which were temperate, and the fact that it was still light outside. Good mood Friday was what I was calling that day. So there I was, bebopping along, listening to some music, minding my owns, when I noticed a strange thing next to the sidewalk. I stopped and stared.

It looked to be the arm and shoulder skin (yuuuuck) of some sort of furry monster baby. I was very disturbed. Never in my life had I seen such a thing. A tiny little arm. It looked to have four fingers and a thumb, just like a human baby... but there was fur on it. And FINGERNAILS. I crouched down to get a closer look. It was completely flat. Boneless. And those fingernails! My imagination took over. Baby sasquatch? Escaped zoo monkey? Werewolf child? Murdered monster baby?

I did what any normal person would do. I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture (or two or three or four or whatever) of it. I attempted to send the picture to friends, but was having phone issues (TYPICAL). So I immediately ran home and uploaded it to Facebook, to ask my trusty internet friends if perhaps they knew what it was. The responses I got were mostly of horror and creeped outedness. One person suggested I call the police. My roommate was just as curious as I as to what the heck this monster baby arm could be. We decided to go back and check it out again, this time mentally prepared and with a better camera.

I drove back to the scene, and there it was. I took a deep breath, placed my "be rational about this" thinking cap on my head, and decided there was NO WAY that thing could be a monster baby arm. There had to be a normal explanation for this.

And there was. And it's kind of a bummer, so maybe I shouldn't tell you guys? Maybe I'll just let you guys look at the picture and decide for yourselves what you think it is. And I'll update you tomorrow (maybe!) and let you know what that arm belongs to (it's not a baby, obviously). I also won't be resizing it, because I know you'll want to inspect it closely.

GOOD LUCK:



UPDATE!!!

It's a cat leg. I couldn't get a decent picture, but upon closer inspection we noticed you can see it's little pads, and the fur is that of a tabby. And what look to be fingernails are flattened claws. I guess it was run over, which separated its little toes, making them looking like fingers. And causing the boneless look, I think. It's very weird. And I still don't know why it's just the leg, and why there's that skin flap.

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I can't wait to live alone. Or, if things go to plan, live with Edward starting sometime this summer when he moves here to be with me because he loves me forever and ever.

I mean, let's face it. At the age of 26 having a roommate that you aren't sleeping with is just depressing.

Which reminds me of this time that I was working one of my older, more exciting jobs!

A gentleman called me up (I worked for a city and helped people get inspections on their rental properties if the landlord wasn't taking care of their shit) and began telling me a story about how his roommate passed away in her recliner while she was watching the Oscars. This feller, who sounded like he was in his 50s or 60s and obviously had some, ah, "issues," then let me know that he didn't even notice she was dead until Tuesday night (Oscars are on a Sunday). Just thought she fell asleep. For two days.

God I hope I notice if my roommate dies in our living room.

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I feel like... It's weird, okay. I have this job, and there's a lot of responsibility that comes with it. And I feel like I'm some sort of phony and one day my bosses and co-workers will find me out and lose all respect for me and I'll quit because my shame will be so great.

I don't know.

I guess after graduating and failing to find work for SO LONG (two years) I just thought it must be me. The economy and living in Louisiana for seven months without finding any work and my overly optimistic attitude totally crushed me after I had to leave Edward and Ruston and my happiness behind.

I guess it doesn't help that so many people are pursuing a Master's degree now so it basically makes my undergrad in liberal arts look like nothing more than a high school diploma. I mean, Edward will have his Master's by the end of May. And since of May of 2008, when I graduated, I haven't been able to find work in my field. I had one STUPID job that I accepted out of desperation (I mean, I've had other jobs, but they were temporary/part time/internships so not really great, meaty resume builders). Never should have done that. I completely screwed myself over. Well. The economy didn't help either, but still. I shouldn't have accepted a job I knew I was overqualified for. I gained life experience, I guess.

Can't put that on my resume though.

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This is what I had for dinner.



As it turns out, however, I am capable of eating only two doughnuts/donuts (I don't ever know which spelling to use).

Also, you may have noticed I tried my hardest and made sure to include a fruit.

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