Alright... here's my lack of shame. This song has a copyright on it by me... so don't get any funky ideas... not like you'd really want to anyway, it freakin' blows.

It's the result of 8 months of anger and frustration mixed with lack of sleep and a pen.

Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you Your Choice ...

keys only

When it all came down to it
Was it ever all that hard
My heart in your hands
Their thoughts in your heart
keys continue, enter light drums
So now I'm ripped to shreds
And strewn across the ground
You didn't even look twice
Didn't bother to turn around

Enter guitars and drums pickup

You walked away from me
With your head held up so high
Such disregard for me
Is no excuse to whine
I never saw it til the last time you looked at me
It was the first time I realized you were meant to be
The Death of my soul's trust for any pretty face
Or maybe everyone this entire God damn race

Chorus

It was your choice to make
And it was my chance to take
But no matter what you're thinking now
It was never your heart to break
Take
Leave unloved for all the world to see
Leave it in the dust and forget about me
Leave it all behind
All the love
And wasted time
Just throw away everything we used to be

You walked away from it
Everything you'd ever need
Left it all behind
Just to satisfy their pleas
Now your friends are so happy
They don't care that he treats you like shit
But you bear it just to please them
So unselfish it makes me sick

Chorus

Instrumental break

Finally pulling myself to one
But off in the distance here you come
Can we fix it all you ask?
Forget about our shattered past
It was so convincing til I saw your eyes
Saw it all
The deceit, the lies
(The deceit, the lies)
You almost had me there dear
A few more seconds and a few more tears
But now I see through all the lies
So go to Hell
How's that for goodbye?

Chorus


Ohhhh man. That was fun. I can hear it, it sounds AWESOME in my head. Thoughts?

Love,
Chris

Comment! (1) | Recommend! (1)

So, not many people who have read this blog yet know a lot about why I'm here at ten to two in the morning writing about my life.

Well, I'm in Doylestown, right now. Going to a community college and working at the Cocaine Industry (hopefully I can get a better paying job and get the fuck out of there in time to get some cash for the holidays).

But last year, I was at Millersville University.

Now, if anybody knows anything about the Lancaster area they'd say "that's nothing to miss" or "do you need cows to moo you to sleep or something?"

Fact of the matter is, for the most part the first statement is true. Lancaster is a less than spectacular area, save the Amish school shooting every now and then, then it's the center of national attention. But it isn't the place I miss. It's the people.

Last year, I started off living in Bard Hall. I had a GA room that I shared with some guy I'd never even known, but we were the only room with air conditioning, a bathroom, and a walk-in closet. So I dealt with the possible serial killer sleeping about 10 feet away from me every night for about a month. However, after that something had to be done. So my best friend since middle school, Eric, kicked his roommate out and I moved into good ol' Gaige Hall.... where my college experience would begin.

I wasn't long after that move that I would go to my first TKE party. It wasn't much compared to what I'd seen, but I got to meet a few of the guys in the fraternity, including Scott Shenk, a liliputian-type man who took me aside and bullshitted with me about Politics for about an hour and a half, and then played me in beer pong. Needless to say, I went back the next night and got a bid to pledge the fraternity, and within a week I was initiated with 3 guys, getting ready to go through pledging for God knew how long at the time.

Within two weeks, Tom, one of my original pledge brothers had dropped, giving Liam, Dave, and I -- the three eventual survivors of the Alpha Beta pledge class plenty of doubts of this being the right thing to do.

Well when I felt that champagne touch my lips after getting in, I knew it was the correct choice. I now had about 20 extra brothers in my life at Millersville alone. Not to mention the thousands internationally who belong to the Largest Fraternity in the world.

Well that led to me coming back to Doylestown for winter break and realizing that it wasn't my home anymore. Millersville was. And that feeling would only grow stronger over the next semester.

Over the next 4 months, I would fall in love... be crushed, go to parties... come back happy, and watch 7 more guys go through what I had just done before them. And through that, gain 7 more brothers.

And that's before we even got to Dorm life.

Airsoft wars in the middle of the hallway, Madden Tournaments, the STOOP OUT FRONT! Good God, I don't know where I'd be without that stoop. It was the place where I could go at any given moment and realize just how right it felt to be at that school.

However, my brain was on overload, and with pledging first semester and the excitement of second semester, it was just too much to juggle my Social Studies Education major. And so here I am, back in Doylestown. Feeling more like a square peg being put into a circlular hole every day. And growing more and more frustrated that the damn four year old that's trying to make me fit there just isn't figuring it out.

...And what's worse is, I know he won't figure it out until next year. When I'm back at Millersville. This time as a Government Major minoring in Political Economics.

Once a month I get a chance to go up there and remember what it was like all of last year. And when I'm up there I get the vibe from those around me that it hasn't been right since I left. And it breaks my heart every time I turn onto route 30 to head back east to the "home" I grew up in.

Sure I have two of my best friends in the world home right now. But with gas prices, and my shitty pay at Cocaine 'R Us, not to mention a 30 minute drive to Newtown and back every other day, I can't see them nearly as much as I would like.

So the best I can do is just grit and bear it through the next 10 months until August rolls around and I am packing my car to move back out to Millersville.

Back to where the cows can moo me to sleep if they wanted to.
Back to where I can be with my friends
Back to where I can feel home.

Love,
Chris

Comment! (1) | Recommend! (1)

So, yesterday I was supposed to be working for the Cocaine Industry (which is what Circuit City may be referred to as from here on out). For about 8 hours, but ladies and gentlemen it was election day.

And since I have been working on Patrick Murphy's campaign for the past few months.. I had to help out. So I called Nat, the head of the district for the campaign, and he told me if I wanted to help out, to come over to DelVal.

So I did. When I got there I was given a kit to go door-to-door to get people out to vote.

Possibly my least favorite thing ever, knocking on doors. Especially when it's 6 o'clock and they have 2 hours to do what I'm suggesting. But I did it, and went to about 150 homes in an hour and a half asking people to go out and vote, most of them said they'd already had, a few said they were on their way, especially when I mentioned that the race was almost DEAD even between Fitzpatrick and Murphy.

In this area, that's unfathomable almost. Our campaign had NO money, everything we gained was from volunteer work who helped get donations from enough people to outraise Congressman Fitzpatrick.

So after all that was done, Nat told me the victory party would be at the Sheraton in Oxford Valley, so I hustled out there, and arrived around 9:45.

The first returns we saw had Murphy up 56% to 44%. CHEERS ERUPTED! I couldn't believe it, but as the night went on, it would get a whole lot less cheerful.

Next returns: 51-49 for Murphy...

Then it happened, at about 11:30. 50-50. Murphy ahead by about 1,000 votes.

Unbelievable, it was all falling apart. Amazingly, however, Murphy held on to that 1,000 vote lead and kept it going until 1:00. With all precincts reporting, Murphy was up by over 1,000. We'd won. The Murphy chants ensued, it was absolute pandamonium. When would the man come out and talk to us about it?

Wouldn't be for a while yet. So the head of the Bucks County Democrat Society came out and filled time, then finally we got what we were waiting for.

Congressman Elect Murphy came out and spoke. He thanked everybody who deserved thanking, ranging from President Clinton to the volunteers on the campaign.

Then he mentioned three issues that he would work on while in Washington.

-Stem Cell Research
-Medicare Part D
-A new direction in Iraq.

The place was going nuts. When it was all said and done, I walked up to the stage and shook Patrick's hand once again, he thanked me for helping, and I thanked him for the opportunity to help such a cause.

And then I went home... it was a much different trip than the one to the Hotel. I felt like I could finally rest. The 8th district elected a Democratic Congressman. That just doesn't happen. But yesterday was different.

The whole time it felt like 2004, when I was watching my beloved Red Sox win the World Series finally. I had waited my whole life for that to happen, and I had waited 12 years for the Democrats to be in control of the House and Senate again. And yesterday, it happened. And I couldn't have been happier than I was, surrounded by people who wanted the same exact thing.

However, even after all of the hitting on newsladies, bullshitting about politics with people I'd never met, hearing the Democrats won the House and were going to win the Senate... seeing Rick Santorum's kids cry...

The best part of the night was still just shaking Patrick Murphy's hand, and realizing that this young guy, only 33 years old, just got his foot into the door that could one day lead to him being Senator.. maybe even President.

Amazing.

And now I have to go into the Cocaine Industry to pick up my schedule for next week.

Hopefully I go unnoticed.

Love,
Chris

Comment! (1) | Recommend! (1)

So, turns out I have Holiday Hours at good ol' Circuit City now.

Which means the dream days of being out of work by 9:15 at the latest are over. Let's extend it an hour, folks, even though the customers won't figure it out for like 3 weeks until they think that the store might be open later than usual do to the Holidays.

So maybe then we should start Holiday Hours. Not on November 6th. What kind of plan is that?

So what if the Circuit City Corporation is the largest buyer cocaine in the known universe? Would that explain it? Maybe, so until I get a real answer I'm going with that.

Anywhodles, today is Election Day. And for my boy Patrick Murphy it's the moment of truth. For me this election is the most important one happening today. It will definitely show if America has grown up, at least the 8th district. If it has, and we have started to see through our own bullshit, Patrick Murphy will be on his way to Washington. If not, Bush sycophant Mike Fitzpatrick will be there again finishing out good ol' Georgie's term.

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to some Tiger Woods before bed. I'll have more for you guys tomorrow... maybe.

Comment! (6) | Recommend!