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Gimme a call Tags
2015 [t] 2014 [t] 2013 [t] 2012 [t] 2011 [t] 2010 [t] 2009 [t] 2006 [t] storytime [t] daddy [t] happyness [t] boyfriend [t] entries [t] personal growth [t] Hello Kitty [t] China [t] birthday [t] home [t] technology [t] dreams [t] crushes [t] college [t] all-nighters [t] mother [t] pre-Law [t] Asian racism [t] writing [t] reading [t] dance [t] | Inner Battle Saturday. 3.14.09 2:16 am I don't know what to do. I'm confused. I don't know what my heart wants. I can't hear my brain reason and argue about logic and what I want, or should want. I'm tired. Tired of running away and just doing nothing, but wait. Tired of this feeling of loneliness. Tired, just tired. Should I give it a try? But I've always told myself from the very start that it wasn't right. There were maybe two days, maybe three, in which I settled myself. Resolved to give in--no, agree. Smile and answer with a positive. But in the end, the expected came too late and that resolve broke away. I didn't do it. A non-answer and I was free to think, to pore over everything. To come to the conclusion that it was best that time had passed. Best for me. Now I don't know again. I just don't know. I can feel doubt eating away at me and the new resolve I had thought so firm. This is the problem with unstable hormones. You never know what you really think, because it always changes. I can depend only on this: I will feel differently tomorrow. *chuckle* I had truely thought it was right. I was READY. For the first time in my life, I was. Then time passed and I thought the opposite was reality. I thought myself so cool-headed, logical, and realistic about myself. Haha, I can feel this strange new twist melting away right now as I type. I'll feel different tomorrow. Let's see what a new day brings. listening: The Climb 1 Comments. Let me guess.... BOYFRIEND Or I could be wrong :) But in any case, it is good visiting your page again Dotty, we hath not spoken in very long...and good luck on the decision-making (I do have to agree that perspective on life keep changing...makes things very difficult!)! » The-Muffin-Man on 2009-03-23 06:19:46
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